PreCana: Update #2

My second update is not as positive. Today's talk about sex was a little over the top and obnoxious. The whole day was from 11:45-5:30pm and it was focused on making babies in the most awkward and frankly, insulting way. The speakers today preached about NFP and a lot of what they talked about was simply ignorant. Another couple talked to us about how women are responsible to please their men and for women to make sure they always look attractive. That pissed me off (and FH too). The couple who was speaking literally left the room for a break and came back dressed in sweats and tshirts then talked about how men should never see their women like that. The man also talked about a woman's job in the household. What year are we in again? Just wow. Another couple told us that if we want to have successful marriages we should never go on a vacation without locating churches and praying before sex. It was just obnoxious, no better word to describe it.

The one okay part was when they said we could write letters to each other to be sent on our first anniversary... only problem was that after about three minutes they told us our time was up and we had to seal the envelopes. Seriously? How can you write something special and meaningful that quickly.

Then we attended mass as a required part and the gospel reading was literally about someone showing up to a wedding in rags because he was poor and the couple threw him in a dungeon and killed him... uhhh what? Not really sure what the message was there.

Yesterday's PreCana was tolerable. Today's was the most annoying way to spend our time together. They asked for a review of our thoughts and I had to be completely honest that as a whole it was not helpful. I did leave a note that the financial aspect on the first day was useful but that was it.

ETA - also the NFP speaker told us that we should really only have sex 7 days a month and sex should never be spontaneous because it leads to a miserable marriage. Wtf. Sorry, but no.

We went for 5 Saturdays for 2.5 hours. Each day was a different topic. We were also tired as our kids play sports and we were at the fields all day. But it's part of the ritual so we did it. They talk about sex and many other things. I enjoyed it. Hubby not too much as it was around football season. Haha

I'm sorry your second day was terrible! I can't believe they talked about women like that and how the woman's job is in the household. They never mentioned anything even close to that in ours.

Also agree you cannot write a meaningful letter in 3 minutes. The idea is nice, but the act wasn't properly executed

@april I honestly wouldn't have had a problem with the second day if they had let it be more about us connecting with our SOs. They made it all about the speakers and didn't even bother to give us time to go through the workbook they provided us with. Skimming through the book, there was a lot more interesting things they could have given us time to discuss and reflect on. The way they chose to spend the time talking about sex today was just really awful. FH pointed out that they also told us all to immediately stop having sex until marriage and then spoke about how a couple of the married couples had become pregnant prior to their wedding day. It just didn't make sense with what they were preaching. They also asked us whether or not we lived together and then said if we are looking for homes we can purchase before marriage but should not live together until afterwards. I mean, I figured that would be part of the Catholic belief, but it was like they were reprimanding the couples who did live together that they were living in sin and would not have a successful marriage if they didn't stop immediately. No one should feel shamed like that.

If there is one thing I took away from this second day it's that the majority of the older married couples who spoke about their relationships really did not seem to have intimate relationships. The last thing I felt they should have been doing was lecturing me on how my relationship should be.

I do hope that others don't have negative experiences like this second day was for us. If the focus were more on the workbook it wouldn't be so bad.