Pre - wedding jitters

The jitters are a common thing. I didn't get them, so I can't totally relate, but I know that they are very popular. Getting married is a huge life decision. People get nervous about making any big decision like buying a car or a house or moving somewhere new.

I have also hear this a common occurrence, but I didn't experience it myself. As Kimberly said - it is a huge decision and I do think it is natural to experience some nerves! It sounds like your bridesmaid asked the right questions, and you have the right answers in your heart.

Honestly, it just freaked me out, and it came out of nowhere. Nothing bad happened, we had no fights; literally out of nowhere. Thanks for the input ladies

Please don't take this as something bad....

....but marriage is about more than just loving each other and taking the next step. Love isn't enough to make a marriage work. Are you on the same page regarding finances? Are you both on the same page about kids? Who makes decisions? How you talk to each other when you disagree? Who is doing which chores?

Hi Date Twin! I def think that it is a normal thing. It is a huge step to get married! I think once the day comes you won't think twice about it!

Jitters are common. My FI and are are 2.5 weeks out and had a huge blow out fight last Saturday (all my fault - I was a crazy person, not proud of it at all) and the wedding was up in the air for a few days. He needed time to think about things, and thankfully realized that we are both just really emotional right now and while my actions were uncalled for - he knows how much I love him and how much he loves me and we truly are so happy together!

My family told me, and his family told him the same thing. It is a stressful time and emotions are heightened. People do silly things, feel certain ways, but just take a deep breath.

We love each other and I need to remember the reason we are getting married.. the wedding is a day, the marriage is forever.

Jitters are common. But the whole "this is the next step" comment is also concerning to me. I would give yourself some time to think and yes ask yourself all the questions that @Janeen mentioned as well.

That said, your BM knows you and we don't. It sounds like she knew just what to say so you are lucky to have her!

I got nervous on the day we went to get our marriage license. I guess because it was what really makes it official. I was a wreck the whole morning. As soon as I saw my DH at lunch, I felt so much better.

@Janeen, I do not take it as bad at all. We are kind of backwards with the whole marriage thing. We have been together for eight years, already bought a home together, and while we have no children, we do have 3 fur babies that we got together. We already have a joint checking account, and split the home chores. More or less, we are married and we refer to each other as such. It just has not been made official.

Also, again, thanks for all the advice

@Mrs.L2B - same situation with my FH and I. 6 years, own a home that we bought together, adopted 2 dogs together, lived together for 3 years and handle our money situation together. It is a big step!

I've never had the jitters, BUT I think that there are few things in our lives that are irrevocable, and children and a marriage license are the biggest, so it's natural that at some point you'll freak out a little.

Here is my simple test: when you wake up in the morning, imagine your FH is no longer in your life... he's gone, permanently. Are you devastated? or are you sad, but know you'll be able to move on? or, is it not even conceivable? For me, if someone says "I'd be sad, but I'll be ok - I'll move on", that's a red flag... if your first reaction is that you can see yourself with someone else, i think that is a problem. (And I did talk to someone who answered that way once - and he realized that he was marrying her for the wrong reasons, and broke off the engagement!) It does NOT sound like that's where you are - and that's why I think you're fine, which I think you already know

Oh you should be fine. lol Jitters!

I had a bit of hesitation - not sure why, we have lived together 9.5 years, we have a daughter we tried hard for, 5 pets, a house etc etc. And where I live we have been legally common-law married for 8 years - legally nothing really changed with actually getting married.

I think for me it was just the fear of change and the stress of the big day looming. I liked how things were and (irrationally) worried it would change things - why rock the boat after almost 10 years! My hesitation really had nothing to do with DH not being the one though, just everything else.

My advice was going to be: If you are worried about this then you shouldn't go through with it. You should feel completely confident in your decision otherwise it's not right for you.

But then I read your comment that you've been living together for years, have pets and a joint account and live as though you are already married. To that I say: Get off the idea that marriage is something different. That seems to be your issue. I was in a similar situation. My husband and I were already living as if we were married before we were officially married. Marriage just made it official to our family and friends what we already felt. My husband and I agree that all the wedding was, was just signing some paper and having an AWESOME party with our family and friends to celebrate our relationship that we already had.

I would suggest embrasing this mindset so that you don't have any other jitters.

Everyone handles change differently. some panic, some don't. as long as you take time to think of how you really feel, what you really want, things work themselves out.

Very common I am going through them right now

Did you do any premarital counseling? Might help...we loved ours. I haven't had any real twinges of wedding jitters but I did realize the other day that I won't go on another first date again...and I kinda loved going on first dates....so that is sorta a bummer...but the trade off is totally worth it Its a big commitment...don't be to hard on yourself about processing through it all.