Are there any etiquette rules for pre-wedding family activities? Is it acceptable to have separate family get togethers or are pre-wedding activities something that all wedding guests invited to? Should pre-wedding family get togethers be on the wedding schedule? Maybe this is unique to my completely messed up family but this is what my relatives chose to fight over.
My mother passed away when I was young and while she will be honored at my wedding with a photograph on a chair and memory table at the reception, I'm not having a church wedding where we can say a prayer or anything for her. So my mother's side of the family decided is having a church memorial service for my mother the morning of the rehearsal dinner. My maternal grandparents are hosting the wedding, and they let their relatives know to arrive in the early for the service and then we are going to the cemetery and a lunch hosted by my grandparents. The rehearsal dinner is later that evening. This is really important for me to remember my mother during this time and I was happy to have the memorial service. I miss my mother more than ever during the wedding preparations. I think having the memorial service will make it easier not to spend the whole wedding feeling upset that she isn't there.
This has created an uproar with my paternal side & stepmother's family all upset they are being excluded from this 'wedding activity'. Thankfully, my fiancé's family are sane and rational and have no issues. Some of my paternal relatives knew my mom, so I get they would want to attend, but my stepmother's family have no reason to attend or even care except to find something to be upset about. I'm not sure what to do. I'm starting to wish we'd eloped. It would be easier than dealing with my family.
