Pre-wedding emotions

I'm glad to read you're going to a counselor to talk about this..I think it is a great thing and will help in the long run. Would premarital couples counseling help at all do you think? Sending virtual hugs to you Peggy ♥️

I second the "glad you're going to counseling." It can be so difficult trying to move beyond the resentment.
Just so you know, you're not alone. My relationship was definitely not "love at first site." My husband and I didn't get on the same page until years after we knew each other. I actually couldn't stand him until we were reintroduced. We're closer to a Pride & Prejudice story than fairytale.

Sending hugs your way!! ❤️ You sound very aware of what you want and what you need to do in order to move forward, so good on you for that. I know that can be very hard. Hugs & best wishes to you 💕

Huggles and you know in your heart, head and tummy if this is the Right thing. I think it sounds like normal nerves- glad the counselor is there for you!

(((hugs))). For your own sanity, don't let the past get in the way of your future joy, not just in your marriage but life in general. You sound smart enough that you wouldn't have gotten engaged if you felt like those issues were still there. Trust your heart.

Aw hugs. I know it's hard to not remember those things and to not overthink it. The point is though, you guys are building towards something together ya know? And that means moving forward. It's easier said than done. I know for my relationship there were things in the past I used to have that made me feel resentful. I think I got over them by just being like you know what, it happened and it's there but I want to move forward and take my lessons to heart so that we can prevent them from happening again (if possible)

Relationships are so much work. You are building your marriage on a solid foundation. It sounds like you have had challenges and worked through them. Kudos! Keep that up. Keep up the communication and remember what you love about each other and why it *does* work.

My Fiance and I were together for almost 7 years before marrying. The first 3 were ROUGH. It's just so amazing we are still together. I resented him for a long time and he had to really prove himself to me before I would agree to marry him. I also had to let the past go. He has proven time and time again that he is a good man ( I always knew that) and that he loves me and our family and isn't going anywhere. He never cheated, or was abusive (dealbreakers for me) but we has SO many stressors in the beginning of our relationship and he didn't always handle those the best. He's grown up, as people do, and we've moved on. Keep on working with your counselor and kudos to you for going and diving deeper into your feelings. It's not an easy thing to do.

Sending you lots of good vibes and hugs! I deal with insecurities as well that cloud my judgement and it's almost a battle in my head between logical and emotional thoughts. When I'm really starting to overthink ,getting into a good workout routine helps calm my mind.

it'll get better