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Savvy July 2017

Pre-Wedding Celebration

Diamonds and Pearls, on February 19, 2017 at 4:31 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13

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I am having a destination wedding. I have decided to include all my guest in my ceremony which makes it non- traditional. Therefore, I don't have bridemaids, or maid/matron of honor. My mom is deceased. My sisters live out of town. They did not have weddings or showers. Therefore, I started looking for a venue and have some ideas related to a traveling themed pre-wedding celebration for ladies only. I would like to invite 50 people so a venue is necessary. I want to celebrate with my friends that won't be able to attend and a location where we can party for 3-4 hours and I know that cost. I don't expect anyone to pay for that. So one of my friends saw what I was doing and said you should not be planning your own shower. However, after I pay for the venue and share my guest list. I will take a backseat. She saw my ideas for a traveling theme shower. What do you think this event should be called (ex. a bridal shower , pre-wedding celebration)?

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Diamonds and Pearls, on February 19, 2017 at 8:39 PM

Master September 2018
K.M. · on February 19, 2017 at 4:36 PM
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It's rude to plan your own pre wedding activities
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Super July 2018
LibbyLane · on February 19, 2017 at 4:41 PM
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Who would be taking over when you "take a backseat"? That person(s) should be planning it from the start.
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Savvy July 2017
Diamonds and Pearls · on February 19, 2017 at 5:01 PM
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Is it rude to pay for the venue? Was it rude to share the traveling theme ideas too?
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on February 19, 2017 at 5:20 PM
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Your friend is right, unfortunately it's rude to plan your own shower. Are the shower guests also invited to the wedding?
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Savvy July 2017
Diamonds and Pearls · on February 19, 2017 at 5:31 PM
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Yes, they are all invited.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on February 19, 2017 at 5:47 PM
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Ok that's good at least. 50 people is a huge guest list though, and a huge amount of work.

A shower is a gift to you from someone else. It's not really up to you to ask someone else to host it. It's not polite because you'll be putting them on the spot. You could have a party though, unrelated to your wedding. That would not be rude.
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Savvy July 2017
Diamonds and Pearls · on February 19, 2017 at 5:53 PM
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Initially, I was thinking it was rude to ask someone if no one offered and calling it something different instead of a shower. I'm glad my friend stepped in and you guys have enlightened me on this topic.
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Super May 2017
SoonToBeMrsS. · on February 19, 2017 at 5:56 PM
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So I think if you want to host a party with everyone who can't make it maybe consider doing it after the wedding? That way it's acceptable for you to plan and pay for it. I know it's not the same as a bridal shower but it's a nice way to include people who can't attend.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on February 19, 2017 at 5:57 PM
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Thanks for being receptive to advice, Karyana! Change your avatar and stick around! You might want to put an update on your OP or you may find people still commenting without reading the thread.
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Savvy July 2017
Diamonds and Pearls · on February 19, 2017 at 5:57 PM
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Honestly, I am willing to pay for all of it. I just want to share that day with my family and friends prior to my wedding date. One of my friends have a catering business and agreed to prepare the food and I will pay for the cost of the food. Thats why I asked what should I called it instead of a shower. Please share ideas.
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Savvy July 2017
Diamonds and Pearls · on February 19, 2017 at 8:06 PM
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I just want to enjoy my guest that won't be able to make it. I don't care about gifts. That's why I asked what else can I call it?
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Super September 2017
kirackle · on February 19, 2017 at 8:22 PM
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Call it a bridal luncheon. Traditionally this is hosted and paid for by the bride for the bridal party and any female relatives who help for the wedding and those who hosted showers.
It is not a gift receiving party but a thank you/celebration event.
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Savvy July 2017
Diamonds and Pearls · on February 19, 2017 at 8:39 PM
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Thanks! How do you update your OP @ Jacks?
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