Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Beginner November 2019

Pre-wedding blues - advice needed

alohawedding1119, on July 25, 2019 at 9:15 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 6

Saved

Flag
Hide content

So before I start this post you may need to know a little background- I struggle with generalized anxiety disorder and planning a wedding has obviously not helped with my mental health. lol

With that being said I've had a really hard time enjoying planning or even getting excited for the "big day."

Today marks 100 days until we get married and my fiance went out and surprised me with roses and candy when I woke up. I kind of shrugged it off. It feels like I just cannot match his excitement or other excitement when they bring up our wedding day. I feel like the whole thing is a big show. I feel like women are held up to a standard on this day and I honestly think it's ridiculous. (and also we're having a big wedding- big family. Our parents are paying for most of it- so no we cannot change the people coming)

So I need advice on how to enjoy planning and the big day. I'm really afraid I won't be able to enjoy my own wedding. Has anyone else experienced similar emotions?

(Also I love my FH very much - this has nothing to do with that. I'm excited for the marriage- not the wedding.)

Flag
Hide content

6 Comments

Latest activity by Annemarie, on July 25, 2019 at 10:23 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 25, 2019 at 9:23 AM
Flag

Hide content
How much planning do you have left? Are you at a point where you could put some of it aside and take a break? Maybe there's something specific that you're looking forward to; your look, the first dance, getting ready with your bridesmaids, that you could focus on for a while to bring some of the excitement back to planning?
- Reply
VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 25, 2019 at 9:26 AM
Flag

Hide content
Honestly? I think it's fine not to enjoy planning. It is definitely anxeity inducing for people I imagine for you it's super hard. I agree women are held to a ridiculous standard for wedding days.
Overall I'd look for the little things you'd like, do you like dessert? Music? Going on a honeymoon? And remind yourself those things are happening and you'll enjoy them.
I often struggle with feeling like I'm excited too but I'm over a year out so I think I just have a long way to go. Your happily ever after will be here soon enough
- Reply
Master June 2019
Danielle · on July 25, 2019 at 9:35 AM
Flag

Hide content
Sounds like you should probably take a long break from wedding planning. Trust me, everything doesn't have to get done "right now," and you do have plenty of time. Nothing about the wedding is worth stressing over, so if there is something stressing you then get rid of it. Everything will be imperfectly perfect on your big day, regardless of the turn out. Not everything will be what you want, things will go wrong, and I promise that your guests don't care about half of the little decorations you might be planning......BUT regardless, on your big day all of that won't matter, because at the end you will still think it was all perfect! Trust me. Hope you're able to "relax" some, and enjoy the rest of your engagement....good luck!
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 25, 2019 at 9:37 AM
Flag

Hide content
I took a break from planning because it could get overwhelming. But I also agree with the planning part isn't necessarily fun in general. It can be though if you make it fun. My husband and I had fun making centerpieces together! Once you're there in your big day just remember that even with all the theatrics, absorb the fact that all your loved ones are there and that you can soak in all the support and love you'll be receiving
- Reply
Expert September 2019
Jordan · on July 25, 2019 at 9:48 AM
Flag

Hide content
I do not have any advice but I feel the same way, if that helps. I do not enjoy planning. It's constant stress. I have 65 days left and am just trying to power through and get to the finish line. Maybe try thinking past the wedding to your marriage.
- Reply

Devoted October 2019
Annemarie · on July 25, 2019 at 10:23 AM
Flag

Hide content
I can relate with the generalized anxiety and feeling like this is all just a bit too much. I want to be more excited, but all I see some days is work.

I remind myself that on our wedding day, THE DAY, NOTHING will matter but my future husband and me. Anytime I feel upset, stressed, flustered, I will look to him. I will look in his eyes and know that the rest of it doesn't matter. I'll center myself in the love we are celebrating and forget the rest. It will all go away when you get to see them.
- Reply