Pre marital counseling...is it necessary?

I'd highly recommend it, whether you go through a church or not, it can be a great time to talk about things. Ours was wonderful - it didn't cause us to argue, but it did make us talk about a few things we might not normally have talked about. Even so, nothing was a surprise and it just brought us closer.

If there are some underlying issues, they will come out - but with a neutral counselor is a great place to air some of those differences. He/she can help you work through them together so that hopefully they don't push you apart, but make you a stronger couple for dealing with them and being able to move on.

First- if he won't go to premarital counseling than he probably shouldn't be getting married. Not to you, not to anyone.

Second- if he doesn't want to go and it pushes you apart then it probably wasn't meant to be.

Third- You can contact non-denominational ministers who do weddings in your area and they can do the premarital counseling and the ceremony too.

I agree with the ladies above. It can give you the skills you need to resolve current as well as future issues that come up. I enjoyed our sessions.

Who is going to marry you? Our officiant was non-denominational and offered sessions. Even if the officiant doesn't marry you they most likely still would be willing to offer counseling.

If you don't have an officiant you can try finding someone through this website:

http://www.marriage101online.com/referral-network

I think that pre-marital counseling is important.

You can both can lay out what you think you should get out of the relationship and your expectations are. My FH and I have found out some great things about each other and ourselves during our sessions. Since no one takes marriage classes, it's great to see what it's REALLY all about through the eyes of an experienced counselor who has seen many different issues with different couples.

Maybe you should start going and then ask him to drop on a few sessions with you. He just might like it. You shouldn't be afraid to ask your FH anything. All he can say is no. He's supposed to be your equal, not your warden.

FH didn't want to do any form of marriage prep (he didn't think we needed it), but I bought these online marriage prep courses and asked him to do them with me: http://www.marriage101online.com/ (he agreed)

They're fairly heavy on the Christian side but it doesn't bother FH too much, even though he's atheist. I think they're pretty good, a little cheesy but that's to be expected. They've brought up a couple good discussions we wouldn't have had otherwise. The only problem is that we haven't been doing them very regularly and I want to finish up before the wedding!!

I think it's a great idea. I think it helps people obtain clarity about a lot of things - what they are getting into, where spouses are different or the same, realistic and reasonable expectations, and how to deal with differences and conflict.

While FH and I didn't have any big issues and didn't do pre-marital counseling, I bet it would have helped smooth the way past the few bumps we've hit so far. Nothing major, and we're good at working it out and communicating, but they do seem like little things we could've been better prepared for through counseling.

If we had a serious outstanding issue - like something related to infidelity - I wouldn't have gotten married without pre-marital counseling. Everyone gets some degree of cold feet, but no one should enter marriage with any serious lingering doubts.

Thank you all for the great advice! And I agree Pumpkin, once I posted this I realized that if he refused to go to counseling it would definitely be a red flag. Do these pre marital sessions cost anything?

Premarital counseling was a must for us. We didn't have a home church as well, but asked for recommendations from good friends that we knew were regular church goers. The pastore really helped us to better understand each other and our relationship. It only made us stronger.

It shouldn't cost anything if you go through your church or with the person that is officiating your wedding. If you have health insurance they sometimes offer 20 sessions a year for free with a psychologist.

However, pay a little amount of money to see what will go on for the rest of your life or stop something negative from going on is a small price to pay.

Marriage counselors will typically do premarital counseling as well. That may be another option to look at.

It is a great idea, but everyone has to be on board. My accountant even does some pre marital work through his church, advising on finances.

I don't think there is any situation that this can't help.

And don't assume he won't go; talk to him gently and with a positive outlook and see what happens!

I think it's very necessary, we are doing ours with our pastor.

If you are starting to get cold feet already I would say check in it to and ask him to go for you and for the future of your relationship..

I absolutely agree with all of you. Now to find a way to bring it up gently...

Does anybody know how much Premarital Counseling costs on average. I do not want to go through a Church since i am Atheist and feel the mention of God would only make me roll my eyes. I feel it could be a good thing for my FH and I but i am fairly broke right now.