My fiancé mentioned to me last night, during our weekly movie night with my friends, that he wanted to talk to me about his friends wanting to throw him a pre-bachelor party. Is this even a thing?
We haven't gotten into the details yet but he did say it would be a weekend trip. I really want to be okay with it, but honestly I am not. It's not because of anything I think they might do, but it's because we haven't had any vacations/getaways together since my birthday in 2020. We also hardly ever go on dates, I took him to the movies last weekend but before that I think our last date night was with another couple in December. We went on a trip with his family to CO for a family wedding and to a cabin with our friend group for his birthday last year. Since the cabin trip, he has had 2 vacation/getaways with friends while I stayed home to take care of our dogs (one was about 5 days in Puerto Rico for a bachelor party, the other was a weekend cabin trip in the mountains). I have not been able to go anywhere.
On one hand I am thinking, soon we'll be having kids and neither of us will be able to have getaways as often so I should let him take advantage of the time we have to have trips with our friends. On the other hand I'm scared it's becoming a trend where he puts time with his friends before me. He's been stressed at work so at the end of the weekday, we veg on the couch and watch tv. He works remote and I go into the office twice a week. Last week his poker night got moved to one of the days I go into the office so I literally only saw him for 2 hours the entire day, which was spent watching TV. *cabin trip example is below if needed for more context.
I'm definitely going to talk to him about it because I feel like he's putting more effort into having time away from me than he is trying to spend time with me. We can't talk about it tonight because he has his weekly poker night with "the boys" tonight. I just want to make sure I'm not being *completely* selfish.
Has anyone felt similarly? Am I being controlling/selfish?
*more context if necessary*The week before his cabin trip I had been working and sleeping at someone's house down the road to dog sit and came home for a couple of hours after work before going back. When he had asked me if he could go on the cabin the weekend before the trip, I told him I'd rather it not be an overnight trip because I was going to be gone all week and we wouldn't see each other much and I wanted to spend at least one day with him. I found out he planned to go anyway on Thursday. That Friday I had a breakdown triggered by comments about my weight while wedding dress shopping. His friends wanted to come over and earlier in the night he asked if he should cancel, I thought I would be better with food since I hadn't eaten all day and told him so. After eating I realized it was a legit breakdown and asked if he could cancel. He said one of his friends had already left so they still came over while I locked myself in the bedroom crying. He went to the cabin with his other friends the next morning.. he did offer the night before to cancel the cabin trip but I felt it would be worse for me to make him to stay home because of me. I don't want to be the woman who won't let her man do anything without her. I was upset for the entire weekend and ended up feeling abandoned when I needed him but I told him to go so I felt like I couldn't say anything about it.
Post content has been hidden
To unblock this content, please click here