Postponing?

I'd have a serious talk with him about his wants and needs as far as the wedding. Why does he want to help contribute if you can do it all yourself? Does it make him feel bad, if so its understandable. However, 3,000 us a lot to lose out on also so I think I'd try to put that in perspective for him.

Personally, I am paying for most of the wedding while FH takes care of ordinary bills/groceries/living expenses. This works for us and he has no problem with it. We still make every decision together, the money just mostly comes from my paychecks. This works for us.

I'd try to get through to him before postponing.

I've postponed and if you feel need to you can always ask your vendors/venue if you can move your date and keep your deposit. My venue allowed me to hold out from August 2018 to March 2019. We ended up wanting a summer month and decided to lose the deposit and pick a new place. I was saving for the majority of the wedding as well. Had all my vendors books (luckily they are all fine with switching dates). We had a "life happens" moment and i had to postpone 4 months before the wedding was to occur. Didn't want to but in hindsight it was the best decision. I think in your case he should know he is helping with the wedding preparation by allowing you to be able to save while he pays for those bills. It is definitely helping you reach your goal in one way or another.

Like previous posters said talk with the vendor and find out if you can postpone the date (have a specific date in mind when you ask), and that way you aren't risking losing your deposit! Also if you don't want to postpone that is fair too. I honestly wouldn't want to postpone my wedding date, but it is important that you both come up with something that works for BOTH of you since it is a partnership! Talk with him about your feelings too! It is very important that you are both on the same page about the wedding. We change our date twice, but made the decision together!

The way we are working it out is that technically most of the wedding money is coming out of his pocket (we split everything else evenly and he makes twice as much as me annually), so it makes sense for us and he's okay with it. If you can afford it on your own to allow him to pay for important things needed, then I would just tell him it's not a problem for you or you can split the cost of the surgery/roof and that way he can use the other half he would have spent paying for those necessities to contribute to the wedding.

While you obviously can't force him to be okay with it... My Fiance and I are in different financial positions but we are a team so we do it together. If we have something coming up we split the cost or one person pays for it and then the other pays back when they can. There are plenty of times where I might have to pay him back in payments over months because I have this or that in which I have to pay for and I just don't have the money. Once you are married, for a lot of people they combine all their financial stuff. So why should it be any different when paying for the wedding? My Fiance has much more in savings than I do so he is paying for most of it upfront and I am paying him back over time. You are a team, and if it were me.. I would try and approach it that way with my Fiance. This isn't you do your half and I do mine, we are a team.

I think if you have it, it's better to not lose $3,000. That's a lot of money to lose out on! Does he know you'll waste all that money if you post pone?

Maybe try to lower some costs, but remind him in the end you will be married and sharing most of the bills anyway, so why not just start now?