Postponing wedding.... again

😤 it’s good to let it out sometimes

I'm sorry love. We have gone back and forth about whether or not we should still plan since I'm the only one working BUT we know that he will be able to find work soon plus I make some pretty decent money and I'm able to save.

Is an elopement not an option?

Maybe you should consider something small. As much as I hate to crush someone's dream wedding. Maybe you should consider a backyard wedding or in a park. Have some friends potluck the food. It might not work in December. I think that things will always come up, financially to get in the way. And unless you can be patient and scrimp as much as you can. I say downsize your plan.

I'm sorry. Maybe an elopement then?

I wouldn’t do a backyard potluck but maybe you can have an elopement? Or have a very tiny wedding with just your immediate families and then take them all out to a nice dinner to celebrate? That would be just as special and you can have a vow renewal in a few years with a bigger party of all of your friends and family.

It all depends on what is more important to you- getting married, or having a wedding. Personally, I wouldn't be willing to wait multiple years just to have a wedding. I'd rather do something smaller and low key so that my partner and I can get married.

The only problem with eloping is that our families would KILL us. I’d honestly love it to just be the two of us, but family is important too.

This sounds so similar to my situation. We were planning a wedding last year but then my fiance's mom passed. We moved the wedding till next year. Things are a little tight but we found a nice venue for only $500. You should try a community center or a public park. Even of it could be done in a family members back yard it could save tons of money.

View Quoted Comment Can you do a small thing with immediate family only?

Also, it's really not fair for your family to expect something and not be willing to help pay for it. I suspect they want to witness the ceremony, but would be fine with no reception/just going out for dinner or something simple and inexpensive to celebrate.

Personally I would not delay my marriage by years due to financial concerns. I would just scale way back and do something very simple. As a side note, if your FH puts off wedding planning discussions, it could be that he's still grieving his loss and isn't ready to be thinking about other big life stuff yet. Money might be a surface level concern masking a deeper issue of just needing time to grieve.

Can you do a location that has sentimental value or a park or beach? Make it more of a celebration than a reception, especially given you’ll be celebrating overcoming so many hurdles.

Have a a big party buffet style. Also, I agree with the poster who said that your family, who is not contributing, aren’t really in a position to make requests.

I’d make sure the FH is still on the same page, too, and not discouraged etc.

I say .. keep it small I'm having a smaller wedding 80 guests .. and things add up so freaking fast .. looking back him and I both would have rather just gotten married with our kids there..

Your families can't be angry and KILL y'all if they aren't willing to pay. No pay, no say! This is yours and FH's wedding and marriage, don't let someone else's opinion change what you want. If the big grand wedding is really what you want then definitely wait but if that's not your or your FHs priority..then either elope or have a very small intimate ceremony with immediate family. Good luck!

Have a courthouse wedding with only immediate family and then do a cake and punch type of reception right after. If anyone complains they weren't invited, explain you were only able to have immediate family there and then change the convo.

Courthouse and dinner at a restaurant. It is possible to pan that with just the immediate family fairly easy. Make some calls to get prices now and set up a jar for savings. Once you get half of your goal saved, double the amount of time it took to get there and set your date off of that. It may not be what you wanted, but going into debt over it is complete nonsense.

It depends on what type of wedding you want to have. Do you want a large wedding or small? If it’s large then set your date to a logical time like a year or two from now so that you can start saving. Some places let you make monthly payments so it’s good to book now. The main thing is getting a venue. The other stuff can wait. You may have to work overtime or get a second job. Your FH may want to as well. If you want an small/intimate wedding just invite like 80 people and find a park or cheap venue to have the wedding at. Google cheap venues in your area.

Thank you guys. You’ve definitely help me see some better options for us. I’m still concerned about getting our families together because his entire family lives in Florida and mine are all over the country.

I don’t know what would be less expensive, having them come to us, or trying to plan something closer to them. Either way, it’ll be difficult 😒

I hope when the time is right it' everything you want and is worth the wait ♡

View Quoted Comment

If they don't want to / aren't willing to help with the finances then it's kind of out of their hands... do what makes you and FH happy - whether that's an elopement, small party, etc...