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Just Said Yes September 2019

Postponing our September wedding

kacey, on May 25, 2019 at 3:32 PM Posted in Planning 0 6

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My fiancé and I have been together for 5 1/2 years. We have been engaged since March of 2018. We met when I was 17 and he was 19. Over the course of our relationship we have always had communication issues but recently with all
of our arguments we have come to realize it’s something that really needs work. My heart aches but today we decided it would be best to not call off but postpone our wedding to work on these issues. We are pretty distant at the moment and I’m hoping things go back to the way they were. Has anyone been through this before? Do you think that marriages last if you post pone the first time around? I’m feeling lost at the moment.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Alyssa, on May 27, 2019 at 7:30 AM

Super October 2017
Emily · on May 25, 2019 at 3:39 PM
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I applaud you guys for recognizing you need to work on this before you get married. This isn’t easy and I know you must be struggling, but you are doing the right thing here. Being young especially, marriage doesn’t make your relationship easier and you are doing your best to make sue you guys have a good marriage before it even starts.
Try to plan something nice to do together, something you enjoy. Weddings are stressful and they can put pressure on any relationship so take a deep breath and step back from it together. I hope you can get back o a good place and feel ready to move forward together.
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Expert October 2019
Rachael · on May 25, 2019 at 4:53 PM
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I'm no professional, but I do really recommend you each read "The Five Love Languages" if you haven't. FH and I don't really have issues, but I attribute it to the fact that we both read it early in our relationship, and had we not, I'm not sure we'd be on the path to being married. Sometimes its easier to communicate when you feel more loved and safe with your partner, and for obvious reasons if you both feel distant, it may help bring you back together
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Expert August 2020
Heather · on May 25, 2019 at 7:28 PM
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I really think that it is so mature of the two of you to take a look at your relationship and recognize that it needs work. Most people can't do that; it's a very difficult thing to do, but I have a deep respect for what the two of you have decided, and I hope everything works out. Love and hugs to you both!
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Expert September 2020
Terra · on May 25, 2019 at 8:04 PM
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The fact that you were both capable of recognizing that and taking the necessary steps is awesome. Maybe look into some pre-marital counseling so that when you do take the leap and tie the knot, you'll have both learned better methods of communication from a non-biased professional. Best of luck to the both of you!
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Devoted May 2020
Lizbeth · on May 25, 2019 at 11:04 PM
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It's good that you guys caught it before getting married. Getting married doesn't change the problems beforehand, it actually enhances it. You're doing great and good luck! Remember you're not alone!
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Dedicated October 2020
Alyssa · on May 27, 2019 at 7:30 AM
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I agree with the PPs here. It's so great that you both recognized this before the wedding and are going to work on things! I'd recommend pre-marital counseling as well, or at least talking through everything together and working on the issues directly.
My FH and I don't really have many issues, but part of that is because we are both 1. open and share when something comes up that we don't like or have a problem with and we talk through it and 2. know how to choose our battles. There are some moments in a relationship that require sacrifice - both sides have to give a little at one point or the other.
We also have a long engagement (over 2 years). I imagine if we were planning a wedding under a year, it might be a different story - but having the long engagement is also allowing us to learn about each other even more prior to the big day.
Good luck with everything! I hope you both are able to work on any issues and reschedule the wedding for a time when you are at a place and will be truly excited and happy about the day!
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