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Beginner November 2020

Postponing, Eloping or Cancelling? - #coronabride

Ashley, on June 28, 2020 at 10:12 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 13

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After 15 years of friendship and 4 years of dating, my man finally proposed and our wedding was set for November 28, 2020.

Since the proposal, planning has been difficult because everyone has told us to elope. My parents did offer a budget of $25k and will cut us a check for whatever we don’t use, but they also recommended we buy a house instead.
I understand the benefits of eloping, but I’ve thinking about a wedding since childhood. I was born in the era of Disney fairytales, Cory & Topanga, & Pinterest! There are so many important people part of our love story and we want to celebrate our love by bringing everyone together. While my wedding fantasy has drastically changed in 10 years, I planned a bohemian wedding for less than $15k featuring a rocktale hour, unity glass blowers, and food trucks... our wedding was going to rock!
We found the most beautiful venue on the river in our hometown, booked our friends band, hired a photographer, and found my dress. We were getting excited but once Corona started, everything changed.
I was furloughed in mid March and have not received any unemployment checks (thank you Florida). My salary was double of my fiancées so the loss of income has been detrimental.
We are now looking at cancelling the wedding and trying to get any payments and deposits back. The only thing that matters is marrying my man (wherever that is) and starting a future together in a financially responsible manner. I am trying to be strong, but the idea of not having our badass ceremony and reception is DEVASTATING.
- Is anyone in a similar situation?
- Are you postponing, eloping, or canceling all together?
- Are there any other brides that are going through the same issues and may have recommendations or encouragement?

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Lynnie, on June 30, 2020 at 2:18 PM

Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on June 28, 2020 at 10:23 PM
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We live in SoCal but planning a destination wedding weekend in Vegas (recently postponed from this October to next October). But I admit that I was SOOO looking forward to enjoying everything we planned. Like you we planned a fun wedding in an unconventional venue with unexpected entertainment . But we couldn’t have effectively hosted the weekend of events due to covid. So now it’s on hold until next year. I’m still excited but I was ready to see it all come together sooner than later.
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Master September 2020
Jessica · on June 28, 2020 at 10:38 PM
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I totally get wanting a wedding and not to just elope. My FH and I planned to get married during Oktoberfest in Breckenridge and intended on enjoying the festival and other activities during the weekend. While they haven’t officially cancelled the festival, I’m not holding out much hope that a street festival drawing thousands of people is actually going to be allowed. We decided to carry on with the wedding plans because our guest list comes in under the current state mandates and we’ve already been engaged over a year and together seven so we didn’t really want to postpone and hope next year works better.
It sounds like your plans were going to be really fun, none of its could have ever imagined being in this situation. Good luck.
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Beginner November 2020
Ashley · on June 28, 2020 at 10:45 PM
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Thank you! I’ve never been to Colorado but Helen, GA has a small but great Oktoberfest!
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Beginner November 2020
Ashley · on June 28, 2020 at 10:46 PM
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I went to Vegas for my 30th last year and had a great time! I hope your wedding plans work out beautifully next year!
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Expert October 2020
Onya · on June 29, 2020 at 4:22 AM
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My fiancé and I️ are all over the place with wedding planning. We have a venue booked in Vegas for next year April, but we can’t wait. 😭 We are now planning a Zoom wedding ceremony and just have his parents and my parents in person, all other guests virtual. And instead of Vegas we are doing it in our home state. Like you said all that matters is we get to marry so I️ don’t think it’s possible to regret anything. We already talked about buying a house and having a post-wedding reception at our new home. I️ love That idea. So we are working through all the logistics. We go tomorrow to for our wedding license application so I’m very excited about that.
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Expert November 2020
Annika · on June 29, 2020 at 8:46 AM
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Hello date twin! We are still trying to hold out hope and continue with our wedding. We didn't have a large guest list in the first place so that helps with the guest list cuts here in TX, but unfortunately 85% of our guests are from out of town. We have a small budget that would be extremely frustrating for us to lose out on as my fiance has been furloughed and we are basically just living on his unemployment and my income, which thankfully I got a job at the end of 2019 as a essential worker, so my pay has actually increased thanks to overtime hours. Plus we are planning on getting a nicer apartment after this lease year after the wedding and we were counting on registry items to help us furnish it. My family kept telling me this will be gone by the fall and our wedding would not be affected and i just KNEW that this was going to escalate and get worse here in the US because people are stupid. I don't have any advice really, just letting you know your not alone in this craziness either!
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Beginner November 2021
Mel_B · on June 29, 2020 at 9:09 AM
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Our date is 12/12/20 (so right after yours) we live in central FL and our wedding is supposed to be in South FL. My fiance and I thankfully were not effected by COVID as far as our income, but my parents were, who were amazingly paying for most of the wedding. There budget has been cut drastically and understandably, to the point that even with all cuts we could make we would still need to cut the guest list (save the dates were all sent out prior to COVID).
With FL on the rise again and there being so much uncertainty I am not sure if it is worth postponing and re-planning everything or just canceling and eloping. Actually my fiance is the one who really wanted the wedding to begin with but now that I have done so much planning and had this awesome wedding planned I was excited to, so I understand where you are coming from. I also can't imagine planning and saving for a wedding for a whole other year... I feel like we should be saving for a house or paying off student loans and starting our life (we are both 30).
As of now we haven't made any decisions or changes to the plans as things seem to be changing every day, as well as my opinions on what to do! Good luck with everything!
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Super August 2020
Alex · on June 29, 2020 at 9:37 AM
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We postponed from May to August. It now looks like the full wedding will not be possible in August. We cannot get most of our deposits back.
We don't want to wait any longer to get married, so we are doing the full wedding, but just with out immediate family and our wedding party (and their SOs). It comes out to about 40 people. We are so excited that we still get to have the wedding as planned, just with less people.
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Beginner November 2020
Ashley · on June 29, 2020 at 7:38 PM
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I feel like we are in the same boat. Our wedding was going to be so different than anything our friends and families have seen. I have been dreaming about it almost as it has already happened. Contacting vendors to learn our options is been handled by my FH because I’m so upset. I know we could cut our guest list to family and close friends, but for the amount of money we have already paid doesn’t justify the low guest count. My FH also has student debt so our $25k budget could help pay the student loans, additional debt, and a home.
I hope everything works out for your wedding and I hope your parents don’t suffer much longer!
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Beginner November 2020
Ashley · on June 29, 2020 at 7:42 PM
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Thanks lady, I appreciate it!
I only have 5 people in my family and he has about 15. We always thought our wedding would be small but once we started listing names we needed around 150 people, with 95% in our hometown.
With the loss of my income, no unemployment coming through, and living off his salary (1/2 of mine), difficult choices have to be made. I also read that venues will start requiring face masks, hand sanitizer stations, plated dinners, and more. I never thought about people not wanting to dance or get drinks at the bar because of social distancing.
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Beginner November 2020
Ashley · on June 29, 2020 at 7:43 PM
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Congratulations!!! A reception at your new home sounds perfect!
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Expert November 2020
Annika · on June 29, 2020 at 7:48 PM
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I totally get that! We have a max of 120 at our venue, about 75 expected. Im so sorry you had to make that choice! We are worried we're going to have to as well. Our venue is also doing the sanitizer stations and we are giving away Bath and Body sanitizers as favors. Our buffet and drink bar (non alcoholic) has to have servers now, and while we didnt want dancing in the first place, we cant have it anyways now. Oh well, the only thing we can hope is that this all gets people to be more hygienic i suppose lol
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on June 30, 2020 at 2:18 PM
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I'm so sorry this is all hitting you at the same time Ashley! But you're definitely not alone right now!
It sounds like minimizing financial costs is more important to you guys right now, so I'd contact your vendors and see what their cancellation policies look like. (Or scaled down plans for 20 people!) If your non-refundable deposits are fairly sizable, it might make sense to see if you can still use those vendors for scaled back services!
You should also check out some of the recent celebrations from other WeddingWire couples - seeing how incredible their weddings have been in the midst of this craziness has been really inspiring: BAM! Last week's wedding photos, engagement pictures, and more! 📷
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