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Dedicated August 2022

Postponement Poll

Ane, on September 5, 2020 at 12:54 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 11

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My fiancé and I plan to get married next year in August 2021 in NYC (most major vendors are already booked). We just got our engagement photos back and have been planning to work on our Save the Dates to send out later this month/next month. However, after weeks of worrying about 2021, I started to consider pushing back to 2022 for the first time last night (even though it would suck to wait 2 more years!). I know many 2021 couples are anxious, but I also know that so many people have moved their weddings to 2021 and are not worried at this point (plus it’s awful to imagine that another year of weddings will be canceled or pushed back). As I’ve mentioned in other posts, my fiancé and I have been together for a very long time so the large celebration is very important for us and we don’t want to give up what we’ve planned and imagined. We want our full guest list, dancing, mingling and no masks, without the health risk—basically a pre-Covid wedding (who doesn’t, I know!). I get that no one knows what will happen but I keep reading articles from experts and I really don’t think we will stop wearing masks next year. I hate to bring any negativity to this website but it just doesn’t seem plausible for things to improve that quickly. While NYC is in a better place now, cases in Spain and France, for example, spiked again this month so it just seems like a never ending cycle until a viable vaccine is administered to a large amount of the population—and that can take a long time. And how will we plan the pre-wedding activities and honeymoon with all of these unknowns? Ugh. So I was hoping other brides/grooms could chime in about whether or not they would postpone at this point knowing that we would not want to compromise any of our wedding details?

A. Send Save the Dates and keep August 2021 for now and possibly reevaluate in JanuaryB. Don’t send Save the Dates at all but keep August 2021 for nowC. Make the decision to postpone to August 2022 now to avoid the potential headache and disappointment later (although the thought of waiting another 2 years makes me sad!!)

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Rebecca, on September 7, 2020 at 4:43 AM

Master 0000
Judith · on September 5, 2020 at 2:55 AM
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B Don't send save the dates now, and keep 2021. Sending Saves at all is a pretty new thing, and for generations the increased flexibility before committing to number of people has been from giving advance notice at more that 4-5 months out, then by phone, in person, email, something with little lead time. Don't print Save the Dates, invites, etc yet, but plan 2021.
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Dedicated July 2022
Maggie · on September 5, 2020 at 3:01 AM
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My fiancé and I are going in circles with the same dilemma trying to decide between July 2021 and 2022 in Chicago. We had actually decided to move forward with a very similar plan to the one you propose: plan for 2021 and reassess in January right before sending out Save the Dates to decide whether to postpone or not. Our thinking was to try to avoid sending out two sets of Save the Dates if we did end up postponing, and to hopefully be able to transfer all of our vendors to the same weekend in 2022.
But just last night we decided to wait until 2022, and the relief I felt was enough to convince me we made the right decision. We have a lot of guests that would be traveling internationally, and most of them said they'd feel far more comfortable making travel plans a year from now rather than within the next few months for a summer 2021 wedding.
We actually live in Spain, and you're right--cases here (while far fewer than in the US) are spiking again and the local government in Madrid just restricted wedding size after a summer of loosened restrictions and pretty big weddings all over the country. I think Spain at least will see waves of restrictions until a vaccine can be widely distributed, which seems highly unlikely within the next 10 months.
So I would recommend waiting til 2022! It feels like a long way away, I know, but this way you can actually enjoy the experience of being engaged and not have the stress of planning a wedding for next summer with the threat of postponement looming in the back of your mind. A lot of people say we don't know that 2022 will be any better, which is true, but I think we all know that it's definitely not going to get better fast enough to see real change by 2021. 2022 is far less of a gamble, in my opinion.
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on September 5, 2020 at 4:53 AM
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Honestly, it's way too early to send STDs, anyway. They go out 6-8 months before, so you don't really have to think about them until January.
Most of my friends are in NYC, as are my ILs. I totally get your worries.
As much as I know you want this decision made now... I'd punt. Wait until after the holidays, and make the call then.
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Devoted August 2020
Sherri · on September 5, 2020 at 8:11 AM
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Do not send out STD's now.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on September 5, 2020 at 8:17 AM
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I agree with the previous comments. I'd wait to send Save The Dates until at least January, and I would also decide sometime between now and January on whether or not to postpone to 2022.
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on September 5, 2020 at 8:28 AM
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If you’re not having a destination wedding then I would wait for the save the dates. I wouldn’t send them until you reevaluate
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Dedicated August 2022
Ane · on September 5, 2020 at 9:21 PM
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Thanks so much for your response! Yes, I definitely got sucked into the idea of using engagement photos for those cute Save the Date magnets. I even started our design online. But I now agree that we should hold off.
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Dedicated August 2022
Ane · on September 5, 2020 at 9:30 PM
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Omg thanks for sharing! This has been our exact dilemma that kind of unraveled over the last few weeks as we kept thinking about what things will really look like a little less than a year from now and that threat of postponement has been looming in the back of our minds already. I agree that we won’t even be able to enjoy our engagement or planning under these conditions. I have already had to cancel catering tastings, dress shopping and other activities. The idea of having it in 2022 seemed so far-fetched at the beginning of this and now it just seems so much more reasonable. I will definitely take all of this into consideration and discuss with my fiancé and our immediate family so that I can start having this conversation with our vendors. Thanks so much!!
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Dedicated August 2022
Ane · on September 6, 2020 at 11:16 AM
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Thanks so much for your advice! Yes, before the pandemic started I made a timeline for wedding planning (many of those things couldn’t happen) which included sending Save the Dates in September/October—as silly as it sounds, mostly because I knew our engagement shoot was going to have a very Summer vibe to match our wedding and I didn’t want to send those photos in the winter because I thought it would be odd, ha! I also have some international guests coming and generally my family loves to plan ahead and will constantly ask me about my date and plans.
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Dedicated August 2022
Ane · on September 6, 2020 at 11:16 AM
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Thanks for your advice!!
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on September 7, 2020 at 4:43 AM
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So, the best piece of advice I can give to you about the last sentence:
"No" is a full sentence.
You do not owe your family every detail. You do not owe them rushed plans, or undecided ideas. I understand wanting to plan ahead (my dad and I are planners, DH and his family are VERY spontaneous). But sending out your STDs this early is only going to frustrate you in the end. If you'll notice, most of us gave you this advice. We speak from experience.
Do not worry about the summer pictures going out in winter. People will only enjoy the reminder of warmer weather. But sending out STDs now, that may need to be changed later, will cost you money and time.
Please, give yourself a break. Wait a few months, and see how things go. You'll have so much more information to work with in January.
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