Alexis
Dedicated April 2021

Postponement. Do i re-invite everyone?

Alexis, on April 14, 2020 at 10:44 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 2 15
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Hello,


Many of us are in the same boat these days with this virus: postponing our wedding.
I would like to start re-planning and moving forward with the changes. We have picked a new date for later this year, fingers crossed this is all over with by then. All of our vendors are okay with the new date, we are very fortunate. We were only two weeks away from our wedding date when we were forced to postpone, so the wedding was essentially completely planned out. We intend on keeping the bones of the wedding the same, details and all, original date on all the decorations. But I feel like the only question I have at this point is with the guests. We sent out 136 invitations and only heard back from about 100 of them (only three declined).
With the new date, do we send out all 136 again, or do we send out invitations to all who responded yes originally?
I don’t want to be rude in the situation but there seems to be a lot of question marks and I don’t think there’s a set in stone etiquette rule for this situation.
What do you all think? Or what are you doing?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Holly, on April 30, 2020 at 10:21 AM
  • C
    Dedicated October 2021
    C ·
    • Flag
    I would send the invitations to everyone you originally did. Some people who RSVPd no or weren’t sure might be able to attend your new date
    • Reply
  • Marie
    Savvy February 2021
    Marie ·
    • Flag
    Generally speaking if they made no effort to respond- I will not be sending them an invite again. With that, most of the people who didn’t respond are people who I felt like I sent a courtesy invite to in the first place so I wasn’t surprised.


    I see this as a chance to 1) simplify a bit- no courtesy invites and 2) send an invite to a couple of people who we have become closer to over the last year that weren’t initially invited.
    • Reply
  • Monica
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
    • Flag
    ^^ Im so glad someone else said it! I know its “rude” but for the guests who did not RSVP, those that did not respond to the message that we were canceling, or did not respond to our wedding update post on fb will not be getting another invitation.


    Its up to you OP. You can resend invitations to all of those who originally received one including those that RSVPd no.
    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Dedicated April 2021
    Alexis ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah, I’d say that I expected almost everyone who didn’t respond at all to not come anyway, as it was more of a courtesy invite.


    I think it would probably be in our best interest not to spend the money on those invites if we think that we will still not receive a response the second time around.
    • Reply
  • Alexa
    Savvy November 2020
    Alexa ·
    • Flag

    Hmm this is tough just because of the small detail of people who have not yet RSVP'd. I postponed my wedding 2 weeks before it took place (3/27) so I had all my RSVPs done where at that point I had already followed up with anyone who hadn't responded. So for us, our new date in the fall, we're first just sending invites to everyone who RSVP'd yes, and then if any of those people are unable to attend given the date change, then we essentially have a 'B' list type of list for anyone on the original invite list. For us we went this route mainly to help everything transition seamlessly; for one, our final count was already over the max limit (we were only supposed to have 150 but we were already at 156) and we had all the table seating assignments finalized, food counts, final head counts and pricing and everything printed that required a final head count and everyone understood! Especially bc it's not like you sent save the dates and are now choosing to un-invite people, or rescinding invites from people who said they could come. But I think it just depends on circumstance!

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  • Alexis
    Dedicated April 2021
    Alexis ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah we had already done a final headcount and seating arrangements also. I’m hoping that it will end up being about the same... I hated having to do the seating chart. Worst part of the whole planning thing lol
    • Reply
  • Naikesha
    Super September 2020
    Naikesha ·
    • Flag

    I would just resend to everyone whom I originally sent it to. i say this to say I'm bad and guilty of not rsvping to a wedding. I put the card in my car to mail and it slip my mind. I did wind up seeing the groom and told him to be ready to dance the night away we laughed later that night his fiance text me thats she excited we plan on making it she was bumped because she thought we weren't since she never received our rsvp. I apologized at least 5 times. I say all this to say not everyone who didnt reply did it with malice some of us just were airheads and forgot.


    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    I would first make sure to inform anyone that was originally invited that you are having to postpone. This is assuming you have already sent out invites or STD's. Once you have a new plan in place, new date etc, I would invite the same people. It is heartbreaking to see all of these post from couples having to completely rearrange everything. I am so sorry but your big day will come and it will be amazing!

    • Reply
  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
    • Flag

    You should invite everyone again.

    Did you follow up with the people you didn't hear from the first time?

    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Dedicated April 2021
    Alexis ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Attempted to follow up with everyone. Did not receive response for that either.
    • Reply
  • Caitlin
    Devoted June 2021
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    I would send out all of the invitations!
    • Reply
  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't assume that they just didn't respond. I had 4 postal mishaps when I sent the Save-The-Dates. When I reached out just for the sake of saying of "saying hi" it was then that I found out that the guest didn't receive their save-the-date. Word got out that I did send them and I got text messages from 3 others just asking if I had sent theirs. Now mind you these were family members that I want at the wedding. Addresses were correct and two weeks later they received save-the dates. Couldn't tell you what happened, it just did.

    So with that being said, maybe the RSVP got caught up in the mail. All 30 of them, probably not. But a few might have and you would never know. I personally would resend to all invited previously.

    • Reply
  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Most people will understand the country is on lockdown. You don't need to re-invite people. Just send an announcement card that the date has been changed.
    • Reply
  • Jordan
    Beginner September 2020
    Jordan ·
    • Flag

    Zazzle and other websites are offering "Change the Date" cards. Might be a good option.

    • Reply
  • Holly
    Dedicated October 2020
    Holly ·
    • Flag
    I am inviting everyone from the same guest list. Perhaps the ones who didn't respond were waiting out the virus???
    • Reply

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