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Christina
Dedicated October 2021

Postponement Blues

Christina, on October 22, 2020 at 10:19 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 14
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Hey everyone, I’m hopping on here for a little support, validation, shared rage, etc., or just a place to vent.


My original date is this Saturday (10/24) and this week has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Now that we’re approaching the end of the week, it’s getting harder and I’m just feeling pretty sad about everything. My FH and I postponed to 10/10/21 back in June and that was the last time I felt any sense of excitement or hopefulness that we could have the wedding we’ve dreamed of for so long. We already have a long engagement (engaged November 2018) and it sucks that it’s going to be even longer and it’s still not looking like things will be back to normal by next fall. I’m definitely one of the stubborn brides who does not want to scrap my dream of a big wedding (and by big I mean ~150 people) and elope or do a minimony/micro wedding instead. I can’t even think about postponing again if things are still this bad and I don’t think we would have it in us to postpone again at that point anyway. I know marrying my FH is the most important thing, but we both were so so excited to plan a wedding with all of our friends and family from all over and we still want that (not to mention, we’ve already paid a ton of money for a wedding of that size that we likely would not get back).
Everyone has been so adaptable with their plans and downsizing during this time, and I commend everyone who has done that, but I almost wish I saw more couples online feeling the way I’m feeling because surely they’re out there. I don’t want to get on the COVID small wedding train, and I know I might not have a choice, but I’m still upset about it. It’s just sucking to not be able to fully plan on having the big wedding everyone else who got married before this was able to have.
The only glimmer of hope I have is that with vaccines on the way, things won’t be the same next October as they are now. Even if we have to cut back a little and wear masks, I could be ok with that. I’m just hoping postponing was worth it in the end even if it ends up not being exactly how I want it to be. My biggest fear is that I’ll end up going through with a very expensive micro wedding and will regret it or feel disappointed afterward.
Anyway, end rant. Thanks for taking the time to read this!!

14 Comments

Latest activity by Christina, on November 11, 2020 at 9:47 AM
  • Shelly
    Devoted January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    Your feelings are valid!! We're having a long engagement (engaged July 2020), and our wedding is scheduled for January 2022. I was bummed about us deciding to push it back so far, but we're wanting everyone we love to attend. We didn't want to risk having ours in 2021, seeing that our friends getting married late 2020/early 2021 are having to change plans due to COVID.

    Just know that your feelings are valid, and it's understandable that you feel this way! You both have been planning for so long and put a lot of time, money, and effort into this. Of course you'd want things to work out!

    Good luck! Sending hugs! Smiley heart

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  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
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    Thank you for the validation! It’s helpful to know that someone gets it. Best of luck for your big day too, I hope it works out for you as planned! ❤️
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  • A
    Savvy August 2021
    Ally ·
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    GIRLLLLL I feel you!

    Our wedding was supposed to be October 9th Smiley sad We ended up still taking the week off of work to go back to MA to visit my family and friends and tried to have a fun week to get our minds off of it, and had a fire at my parents with 2 of my bridesmaids and a few cousins and close family friends to still "celebrate" and be together on that day. My FH is very impatient with getting married (not sure why). We're expecting around 200 people (I have a very large family) and I do not want to downsize. For the past year since we've been engaged its been "its YOUR day," "whatever YOU want." But now my FH and both parents are like "Well what matters is you get married, lets just do a small thing then have a big party later.

    Like ummmm.... NO!

    It is incredibly frustrating and I totally feel your pain. I am already mentally preparing to have to move my date again (although I didn't even want the May date cause all I've wanted in life is a beautiful MA fall wedding but my FH didn't want to postpone a whole year).

    Unfortunately all we can do is go with the flow and adjust to the world around us cause it's all out of our hands.

    Sending virtual hugs and hope this week gets better and you find a way to still celebrate your day with your FH Smiley heart

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  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
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    YES you get it!! It’s already so frustrating and heartbreaking to be going through all of this, and it’s not unreasonable to still dream for the big weddings that we planned. I swear if I have to hear one more “what matters is marrying the love of your life; intimate is better” I’m going to scream lol. I hope you don’t have to move your new date and can have the wedding you want, and I’m glad you were able to spend some time with people close to you and do something fun for your original date. FH and I are planning some low key things to do to commemorate our day. Thank you for the kind words and validation, it really helps ❤️






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  • A
    Dedicated August 2022
    Ane ·
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    Hi! I am also refusing to get on the COVID small wedding train! My fiancé and I got engaged in September 2019 and booked our venue right before the pandemic unraveled for August 2021. I never would have imagined that we would have to postpone our wedding, but last month we decided to postpone until August 2022 because we were just so anxious about the possibility of having to postpone later or reduce our guest list or change plans. We were also not enjoying the wedding planning process under these circumstances. My fiancé and I have been together for a very long time and currently live together and don’t plan on having kids for a while. We were really looking forward to the celebration with our friends and family. We want to have the wedding that we have dreamed of and really don’t want to compromise on that. We want our 120+ guests dancing and mingling and having a good time in a safe way! That being said, I think I would be very defeated if for some reason our wedding isn’t possible by 2022. I’m feeling positive about it now but I know I wouldn’t want to postpone again at that point. It’s hard enough now to keep that wedding excitement after a long engagement but I’m just keeping my fingers crossed for all of us! I am totally with you! Best wishes!
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  • H
    Devoted August 2023
    Hhh ·
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    TOTALLY get it, you are so not alone!! We were going to get engaged in 2017 but decided to wait until I finished grad school. Finally got engaged end of 2019, planned the wedding for Feb 2021 and now postponed until October 2021. Ugh!!! Four of our closest friends have met their partner, gotten married, and have at least 1 kid just since we have been dating!
    We feel similarly to you and don’t want to have a small ceremony now and maybe, or maybe not, celebrate later. We want the wedding that everyone else already got to have. I know there are lots of brides whose situation does not allow them continue to postpone (and I feel bad and truly hope they can focus on being happy about marrying their partner ☺️) but hearing from anyone who actually got their big wedding that “at least you get to marry your love...” UMM NOO. I just can’t. We committed to each other years ago, I don’t care if the government recognizes it, I care that we get to celebrate with friends and family.
    Hopefully that helps- you aren’t the only one who needs a rant some days!
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  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
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    You want the wedding you want! Totally understand that and not wanting to compromise on having the big party you’ve been dreaming of. When else do we get to have all of our friends and families in one place?! I hope by 2022 things are back to normal and feel optimistic you’ll be in the clear. Hoping for the best for both of us!
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  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
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    EXACTLY. FH and I have been together for a while now and don’t really view getting married as “the start of our lives together.” We already operate as a married couple. We want a party with our friends and families! UGH yes I have friends who have moved through all of those milestones since we’ve been dating too. No one really gets what this feels like unless they’re going through it too. Lol UMM NO is exactly right 😂 Trust me, this helps. Thanks so much for taking the time to send some validation my way. Best wishes to you and having the wedding you want ❤️
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  • Katie
    Savvy December 2021
    Katie ·
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    I completely understand. Our original plans were to get married on 12/5 but we postponed over the summer once we realized the pandemic wasn’t ending anytime soon. So then the plan was to have a small ceremony this December with the larger wedding next December. However my dad is now in hospice care so we ended up moving the small ceremony up to this past Sunday to assure he could be there. It was beautiful and intimate and I would not change that day. But I still want to have the larger wedding we planned. Like you said, I want to have the fun celebration I have always envisioned for our wedding. I come from a very large family and my husband has family from Canada he wants to be there (they also really want to come as well and have had to cancel their flights for the original wedding with no refunds). It really would be verrrrrry difficult to downsize the guest list plus I WANT all my family to be there. We had already paid a large sum in our deposits before the pandemic hit and I am not one to just pretend like it’s not a big deal if that money goes to waste. My bridesmaids have already paid for their dresses and not all of them could be at our small ceremony. Plus when this pandemic is over with we will be in desperate need and want for a big party that’s for sure. I am hoping by next December things will be different, yet I have started to accept we may have to postpone again. I would be disappointed but willing to postpone again if we have to, but that would probably be the last time. I am hoping we don’t get to that point but we will just have to take this day by day. You deserve the wedding you have wanted with everyone there you wanted to be there just like anyone else!
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  • H
    Devoted August 2023
    Hhh ·
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    Of course! Same to you ❤️ Hang in there! 😝
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  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
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    I’m glad you were able to have a beautiful day in the midst of all those circumstances! I hear you, planning a big wedding and then facing the possibility of having to cut down the guest list is no small feat. And spending so much money already on the type of wedding and number of guests you were planning on having. You’re so right that once people can gather again they’ll want to have a party FOR SURE. I’m hoping by that point things will be significantly better than they are now and you’re able to have the party of your dreams. We deserve that!!
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  • A
    Dedicated August 2022
    Ane ·
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    Thanks girl!! We’re all here with you! 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽
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  • Morgan
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Morgan ·
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    We were supposed to get married in July with 150 people but decided to postpone the big celebration and have a minimony instead, since we just don't know how long the pandemic will be. It was not ideal. We're based in NY and my now husband's parents couldn't attend because NY decided to start their two week quarantine rules 4 days before we got married. They had to be on zoom. I was so uncomfortable having a minimony instead of what I planned that we didn't invite any friends to watch on zoom. I'm seeing all these brides who decided to have a minimony/microwedding and are super happy about it, but I'm one who kind of regretted it.
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  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
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    Morgan, I’m so sorry to hear that. My wedding was/is supposed to be in NY too. I totally understand the reasons so many couples opt to do the minimony for now, but I’m sorry to hear that it wasn’t what you wanted and that you felt uncomfortable. When did you postpone the big celebration to? I hope you can have the day you wanted then with all the people you would have wanted there originally. You deserve your day!
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