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Just Said Yes January 2022

Post-wedding party for family friends only

Sasha, on April 18, 2021 at 4:12 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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My parents have a lot of friends who were invited to my sister’s wedding in 2019. Ideally I would like to include them in my own wedding in 2022, but I have a lot of my own friends to invite (more than my sis did) and my fiancé’s family is huge. We can’t afford to invite all the family friends, so I was thinking it would be simplest and fairest to not invite any of them.

I think they’ll understand; my parents weren’t invited to any of their kids’ weddings after all. Since I’m fond of them though, I was thinking of having a separate “celebration of marriage” party a couple months after the wedding, just for family friends and some of their kids (their kids = my close friends, who are invited to the wedding) and my and my fiancé’s immediate family members. There would be food, alcohol, cake. It would be an open house/garden party type event. My family friends are a pretty laid-back crowd so I think they’d be happy to attend. Just wondering what the etiquette experts have to say.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Maggie, on April 19, 2021 at 12:32 PM

VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on April 18, 2021 at 6:36 PM
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Personally, I think these people will be more offended by the idea of a separate 'celebration of marriage' event than they will be by you not inviting them to the wedding.
These people will learn of your wedding at some point or another and if you invite them to this separate party after the wedding, they will probably feel b-listed since they were invited to that event but not the wedding itself.
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Devoted November 2021
Maureen · on April 18, 2021 at 6:52 PM
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I wouldn’t worry about a second party. You might be burnt out on planning another event also, regardless how laid back it might be. If your parents got the hint that they weren’t invited to their kids weddings, they will get the hint and understand also.
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Dedicated June 2021
Jessica · on April 18, 2021 at 8:47 PM
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I'd feel pretty left out too if I was invited to a separate occasion. Perhaps your parents would be willing to contribute to the reception so that you can expand your guest list?
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Just Said Yes June 2022
Andrew · on April 19, 2021 at 12:24 AM
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It depends on your family culture. This is very common practice in other cultures, especially in Asia. Those who are invited in the 2nd party aren't offended because they understand that there's only a limited number of people the couple can invite. You better discuss this with your hubby so you can at least think how others would feel.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on April 19, 2021 at 12:32 PM
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It's always fine to throw a party and invite people. Parties are nice! But you don't need to specify that it's wedding related (because it's not really related, several months later). Once you call it out as a "wedding celebration" then you put people on the hook to bring gifts and that could be awkward. But if you just invite people you care about to a party and host them with nice food and drink, everybody wins.
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