Post-wedding bridal party weirdness

Not exactly the same but I chose not to have a friend as a bridesmaid and after she straight up asked me to be in the wedding (I know Right?) and I explained my choice to her (we are having three married couples walk in the wedding as well as my fh family (sister and cousin) and my best friend. After that she straight up dropped me as a friend and lost her ever loving mind. The whole situation was just odd. It baffles me sometimes how people react over things like that. On a similar note, my other friend did not have me as a bridesmaid but she is in my wedding and there is no animosity there. I think people sometime have a reason for who they choose.

I was a bridesmaid for two of my friends who, back when I was previously engaged, were going to be bridesmaids for me as well. However, things changed. For one of them, her husband was actually a bridesdude and she ended up saving the day (another story). For another, she was just a guest. I can tell you, I felt super awkward about it at first. But neither one seemed to really care/notice. They understood out decision and respected our choice. They were just happy for us and to be a part of the celebration. Kidding, one flat out said I made the right choice choosing her husband over her! The only people I see who really get offended/make a big deal of it are family members.

However, I will say the wife who saved the day was definitely treated like a bridesmaid after that! She almost cried whenever we got her a thank you and gift card.

View Quoted Comment Yeah see we had our reasons... one of the friends is because she and another girl and I have been like a group of 3 for years. But the third girl is SUPER unreliable to the point of it being rude (like she’s bailed on attending another friend’s wedding 2 days in advance for a nonsensical reason, and that’s pretty in-character for her) but since it’s always been the 3 of us as friends, I couldn’t exactly have the one girl as a bridesmaid and exclude the unreliable one without creating drama, so I just had neither of them. But at this point the unreliable one has kind of removed herself from our lives so at THIS point it would be fine to have one and not the other... but when I was asking bridesmaids a year ago, that was not the case.

The other girl is just because honestly I didn’t feel super close to her this time last year... but it was one of those things where I think she felt a lot closer to me than I did to her. At this point I DO feel closer to her, and if I was asking my bridal party NOW, she would be a bridesmaid but... I just didn’t feel this time last year that she was one of my best friends.

So like yeah of course I had my reasons but I’m just hoping they don’t ask for my reasons because I really don’t want to hurt their feelings 🤦🏻‍♀️ Ahhhhh

I did feel this way at some point but when I was planning I honestly didn't think they'd invest so much as they did because my intentions were for them to enjoy and be guests.

For example, a childhood friend of mine from my home state, we had our fall out before I moved and she fixed things because the issue was on her end and we moved on from it but as she found out I was getting married etc she became more involved over time on her own. She gifted me my bridal shower dress, and even before she did so I told her she'd be invited although I understand she may not be able to fly in if she was coming for the wedding. And as time got closer, she kept texting me how excited she was and she made all kinds of arrangements to be here. I deeply appreciated that because I understand traveling is expensive and my intention was to have her enjoy as a guest. Even her mom asked her over FaceTime why she wasn't in the bridal party (fiance overheard) but I know she doesn't do it to receive a title.

Another friend of mine who asked me to be her day of coordinator last minute because the person she had in mind backed down and we had already been helping each other plan our weddings since she married on September 2018, she was never in my bridal party and it wasn't because I wasn't in hers. I wanted her to be anytime recover from her wedding as her husband was one of our groomsmen. But she helped so much too.

However they helped me on the day of in so many other ways so that one person wasn't overwhelmed. It worked out well but they definitely would've been in the bridal party lol

I have 4 bridesmaids.
1 is single, 3 are married.
I was a bridesmaid in my MOHs wedding.
I was a guest at the other 2.
I know that I was on the list and considered for both. One had a super small bridal party. (2 bridesmaids).
The other had a fairly large bridal party (around 7) we've been friends for around 10 years, but all of the girls in her bridal party have been friends from childhood.
I had a list of 7 potentials and narrowed it down to 4.
I asked one of the remaining 3 to be my guestbook attendant.
I chose a bridal party size that I felt was manageable for me. No regrets.