Post-wedding blues/anxiety

I've thrown myself into landscaping our house beautifully, being my sons class Homeroom Mom, and he just started soccer.

I get it though. My mom passed away a few years ago. I am doing much better now, but still have my days. I had massive depression and anxiety, and wasn't myself for about three years. It gets better. Hugs. Hang in there!!!

Planning our wedding over the past 8 months kept me quite busy, so now that it's all said and done, I'm slowly coming back to "real" life. The only thing really that's been on my mind is just wanting to go back and enjoy it again because it was such a wonderful day and it truly goes by too fast. My family doesn't get together often so that day we bonded really good and that was really special to me. Just those little mixes of things.

I'm just staying busy getting our house back in order and focusing on my school and volunteer work. Keeping the mind going is always a good thing!

I hear ya on some of the photography regrets! Little things here and there for me too. I guess I just got over by realizing there's really nothing that can be done about it sadly. I'm so sorry about your Mom, I can see how that would make it all much more difficult.

I'm not married yet, but I've heard that finding a new hobby, hitting the gym, reconnecting with things you enjoyed before you got caught up in wedding planning, etc are helpful.

I feel like it's going to be super weird for me because after our wedding I'll also be graduating so no planning or school assignments to keep me busy. I'm soooo looking forward to it!

@MrsK&D and @Courtney, finding a project around the house is a great one. No garden since we live in NY, but I definitely have a room or two that could use some decorating love...

@LoLo the photo regrets are so frustrating! I'm sorry you have them, too! I've been thinking about emailing all my friends to ask for any phone photos they took... just to supplement...

Photo regrets are real! That's what I still kick myself over now- 4.5 months later. I definitely asked my friends for their pics - but I'm impatient and requested that before I got my pro pics back.

I'm so sorry about your mom. Nothing I can say or suggest can help with such a loss.

I can't relate to post wedding blues. But I just wanted to stop and say I'm sorry you're going through this. Maybe you can book a vacation or something to have something fun to look forward to?

@Donna I have definitely been thinking about a long weekend away! You're right - I should just book something. Tomorrow's lunchtime activity!

@MrsMcCoy I know! How did I never know about these photo regrets? Maybe we should start a separate thread about that. I have already emailed all my engaged friends not to make the same mistake! And thank you for the words of support.

ETA: coherent thoughts are hard!

I agree with @donna. Planning a fun trip could definitely cure your blues. Try skyscanner.com. You can search from a different airport to everywhere on the cheapest month. You can get super cheap flights on there. I saw a round trip flight from nyc to Ireland for 320!

You have just gone through a major life change. First of all be kind to yourself, it's good that you acknowledge the reasons why you feel blue and anxious. Feel those feelings and accept that they are there and use this as a growth opportunity. Use those feelings as your friends who will propel you to bigger things and a stronger understanding of yourself.

Don't be afraid of those feelings but do some inner talking to yourself like how a caring parent or friend would talk to you. It's like talking to your scared inner child as a loving caring adult. Acknowledging how you feel (inner child) and talking your way through it with suggestions on how to cope with things (loving adult) Just like how a friend or loving parent might do. Journaling your thoughts can help you release the negative thoughts and feelings.

You've been planning for a big event and nothing goes perfect. Acceptance is HUGE about those things. Accept that the pictures aren't perfect, but you do have them as well as your lovely memories. In the scheme of life these are just things. What you have is the man you love. Great pics would be nice but just accept that life is not perfect either. It's okay.

Start a new project or hobby that will stimulate your mind and body.

I deal with anxiety. Remember, just because you think it doesn't make it true! Get that shitty committee out of your head.

Sometimes when I start thinking negative thoughts I tell myself out loud, "stop it!" I usually catch myself before I go down the slippery slope of feeling badly. Mostly I laugh at myself when I hear my own voice stopping me in my negative tracks.

I truly believe the people who leave this earth can be with us on special days. I bet your mom was close by in spirit.

Get yourself moving physically and stimulate that sensitive brain of yours and you will get through these feelings and be a stronger woman for it. I speak from experience.

Hugs and congrats on your marriage.

Also, be prepared for a major "crash" now. That's normal and okay. When my mom passed away I had a friends wedding I was in to look forward to. I planned an amazing bachelorette that was over the top. Then the wedding. Then a major birthday party to plan. Then..... I didn't have anything to plan. And I freaking lost it. The loss finally hit me. Suicidal simply because I just wanted to go to heaven and be with my mom. Keep your friends close. Tell them how you are really doing. There's no shame in grief counselors and meds for depression. I can tell you now that I'm in the other side, it's going to be okay! You'll make it! I still have a day about every three to four months where I scream and sob. Because she won't ever get to be my sons grandma. She won't ever get to see the things I've done as a mom that are what she did. But it's okay. I get it out and move on.

@Dreamer Thank you so much -- your words are full of power. I LOVE the phrase "shitty committee" and am going to start using it (and kicking its butt).

@MrsK&D Hearing that it gets better really does help, thank you. Agreed on the value of a good grief counselor -- I can't even imagine what this would be like without her. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom, too. Sending you big, big hugs...

We started trying to have a baby right away (it took 9 months but it finally worked!) and we planned our honeymoon 5 months after our wedding to keep that wedding feeling alive. I'm still sad it's over though. Such an amazing day.

MS1026... I'm sorry about your mom :-( *hugs!* Congratulations on your marriage though I agree with Dreamer - be kind to yourself. It's so easy to think about "should have dones", but it's not worth it. I'm a photographer and I myself forgot to ask for an entire group photo with everyone there (everyone together will probably never happen again for us)! You had a beautiful day, and most importantly, you married your love. I think your mom would be happy for you if YOU'RE happy with your day and your marriage. Don't stress over the things you can't change, and focus on the beautiful and great things.

As far as what to do after the wedding... It is quite a shift have SO much wedding planning going on and then poof - it's gone! Haha. It's nice to take a break and enjoy that the hecticness and stress of planning is over. But then if you get bummed... find things you truly enjoy doing... reading more, starting projects around the house, volunteering, catching up and visiting old friends and family you might not have seen as much with planning, and most importantly - enjoy being a married couple

I am so glad that you posted this. My wedding was about 3 weeks ago and I have been feeling so sad. I tried to explain to my husband but he didn't understand (I also couldn't clearly articulate my thoughts because I wasn't quite sure why I was feeling sad or where it was coming from). I am also having so many regrets about little things. The day of I felt amazing, but now I'm thinking about my hair, nail, make up choices, food selections, why the DJ didn't play certain songs, etc. I researched it and found that post wedding drepression is a thing. The biggest relief for me was knowing that I wasn't alone and that I wasn't crazy, but many people go through it. I'm in graduate school so I'm trying to focus my attention on my marriage and my studies but the "high" isn't the same. Here are two articles I found on the matter that also offer tips for coping: http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/post-wedding-depression-real-thing/story?id=26113769 and http://www.bridalguide.com/beauty-fitness/health-fitness/beat-the-after-wedding-blues

Of most importance, I offer my sincere condolences to you regarding your dear mother. We'll get through it!