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Super May 2019

Post Wedding Blues

Megan, on June 19, 2019 at 9:23 PM Posted in Community Conversations 3 21

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Girls I’ve got the post wedding blues big time! I feel like it’s a mix of being sad it’s all over, not knowing what to do now, and also a little regret over what I wish would have gone differently. I also feel annoyed and mad at myself for having such high expectations and holding onto things i can’t change now. I see my dress hanging in our spare bedroom (I still need to get it cleaned and put in a garment bag) and I just feel so sad it’s all over. The day went by soooo fast and I feel like I can’t remember parts of it

We just got our pro pics back yesterday and while I love most of them, i can’t help but feel regret over the ones we missed...what is wrong with me?! I got over 1100+ pics back and all I can think about is the should have/would have ones!! Our day was mostly great, I just remember feeling a little rushed and I can’t help but wish my photographer would have kept better track of time for us, or that I should have asked my mom to do that. I feel so bratty because we had a gorgeous wedding, I married my best friend, honeymooned in Greece, and yet I can’t stop dwelling on some things!! Ugh. Any advice? Anyone relate?

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21 Comments

Latest activity by Lisa, on July 14, 2019 at 11:49 AM

Expert October 2020
Soon2BSmith · on June 19, 2019 at 9:40 PM
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I haven't married as of yet, but my very close friend did last year and experienced exactly what you're saying. It's almost her anniversary and she's still upset about the food ( she's a chef and her wedding food was horrible), and the amount of people who did not show up.
All you can do, is focus on the amazing parts, when you start to think about the negatives.
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VIP March 2019
Yoice · on June 19, 2019 at 9:41 PM
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I can totally relate with you on some areas. I felt down and said it was all over. I didn’t know what to do with my life, I felt empty and to me reliving the wedding over and over again is what made me the most happy. For weeks everyone ever talked was the wedding and how much they wished they could be back and that made me even more sad. What worked for me was letting go slowly. Starting a new project. I booked a trip to have something new to plan. I saw our pictures over and over again and got joy from it. Is a beautiful memory and there’s nothing you can change. Just remember it with a happy smile and it would pass.
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Super April 2019
Jazmin · on June 19, 2019 at 9:51 PM
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Girl, say no more. I couldn’t sleep after the wedding thinking of those same things: what I could have done differently, the things that went wrong, the photos we didn’t take. But after I saw our pictures and our videos I understood that the day had passed and I couldn’t change the past, so I had to accept it and be happy with what we got to do not the things that we didn’t.
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Master June 2020
Anna · on June 19, 2019 at 9:54 PM
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You must be a planner by nature. You just need a new project
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Dedicated November 2020
Gabriela · on June 19, 2019 at 10:22 PM
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I agree with Anna. Definitely a planner at heart! Try finding new things to plan and get excited about in the same way whether it be upcoming birthdays, special events, find new projects either for the house or for you guys as a couple!
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VIP September 2019
· on June 19, 2019 at 10:41 PM
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My wedding is in September and I already started feeling sad. It reminds me of Christmas all the hype and excitement and then it just flys by and is gone. This wedding has consumed my life for past year (actually more like 1.5 years) I was planning before we got engaged. I like everyone's advice on finding a new project to start.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on June 20, 2019 at 12:32 AM
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Yesss... it took a few weeks for me to let go of the things I wished I had changed and the photo opps I wish we had! Like others said here, I focused on the good parts (and amazing moments) and then relished in having my weekends back. A big relief was a few months later when my hubby & I enjoyed a double date at the movies with friends, it felt like we had been prisoners for over a year and suddenly had freedom! Very surreal.
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Dedicated May 2019
Jennifer · on June 20, 2019 at 1:27 AM
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And I thought I was alone in feeling this way!

I feel like I dont know what do to do with my time now. No more planning. I am still dwelling on things I didnt do, or had to change for budget reasons. And yes pictures I wanted to take but forgot all about day of. I have regret with things, we should have had a longer ceremony. Should chose a different venue( that one is because they screwed up my reception and made me cry).

But I look at our pictures, and see how happy my husband is. And all the guests keep telling me how beautiful everything was, and I try to let the little things go.
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Dedicated February 2022
Deborah · on June 20, 2019 at 1:38 AM
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I agree with everyone hold onto the positive moments and find a new project to keep your inner planner happy. I haven’t even considered that when it was over I may have adverse feelings.... I’ve been toying with this idea of cameras on tripods just recording all the random moments. Not to replace the videographer or photographer but just to be able to look back on my day and see the parts that didn’t make it on the professional footage. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I haven’t even started planning yet. This is a warning to be ready to let go.
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Super March 2019
Mcellist · on June 20, 2019 at 1:46 AM
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I cried 2 days after my own wedding over the exact same things. So many things went wrong on my wedding day. I decided to dive into all of my major hobbies ( playing cello, napping, reading, working out) to try & get past it all. I had regrets about: ppl who didn’t show, photography choices, how fast the day went EVEN with an hour added on, extended family leaving, and the list goes on!

Find things to occupy your time & it will pass. It took me 2 whole pay periods ( so 2 months) to realize that I could finally do some fun things because I had been saving for the wedding for 2 years. I hope you start feeling better about everything really soon!
Once a little bit more time passes, hopefully the things you’re holding onto will no longer bother you.
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Super May 2019
Megan · on June 20, 2019 at 8:38 AM
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Yep totally a planner! I know I need to find a new project, it's just like I'm in a funk to even try something ha
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Master June 2020
Anna · on June 20, 2019 at 8:43 AM
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Maybe you should take a side gig and plan weddings
Sorry, you are blue. Try to get out in the 🌞 and give yourself some TLC . you are just adjusting to your new normal, after all of the stress and go, go, go.
Plan a surprise vow renewal for your first anniversary
I'll contact you for advice, if ok, I'm a year out.
Hang in there. You will get to the other side❤
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 20, 2019 at 1:20 PM
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I sort of relate in the sense that there's definitely things I missed or wished I had done. But hey I'm sure it was a good wedding and at the end of the day you can't let what you could have or should have done overshadow what beautiful things did happen - such as your life uniting together in love
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on June 20, 2019 at 4:36 PM
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It's been almost 8 months since our wedding and I still feel that way sometimes. I miss the excitement of the big day coming. I miss all the fun we had. I miss my dress and my tiara and my veil. My mom gave me a hard time for not doing a father daughter dance but I don't miss that I didn't do that lol. I dislike slow dances. I wish I had something to look forward to but it's just been regular life since we got back. Our wedding was in Vegas and we just had the most amazing time. We wanted to try to go back this year and meet up with some of his family who lives out that way but we needed a new HVAC system so we are not even able to travel anywhere for a few more years. So yeah I feel your pain.
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Master August 2019
Allie · on June 20, 2019 at 4:39 PM
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I would suggest finding a new hobby or another event/trip to plan. I get like this a lot. Not just about the wedding, but dwelling on the negative. So, I try to stay positive and find other events/things to look forward to. It doesn't have to be anything big either. This weekend I am actually looking forward to staying home for once and having some alone time to organize and pack for our move soon.
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Devoted September 2019
Caitlyn · on June 20, 2019 at 7:23 PM
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Would any of you be willing to give advice to those of us getting married about what photos you with you had taken, what you wish you had changed, etc?
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on June 20, 2019 at 8:01 PM
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We had two photographers and somehow both missed 1) our appetizer table, 2) our DIY guestbook table with a special tribute to my hubby’s mom and 3) some cool wide-angled shots of our reception venue at the entrance (wine cave) which would have showed more of our DIY decor.

Don’t get me wrong, we have some spectacular photos of first look, close-up decor, ceremony, candid & posed shots of guests, our first kiss. We did a TON of DIY for our reception and my hubby crafted amazing props which weren’t captured well (treasure chest, ship mast, sand sculptured perch for our animated parrot).
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on June 20, 2019 at 8:07 PM
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I also wish our main photographer obsessed over my bridal poses (or had an assistant). I had a two-piece dress and the dang belt kept riding up which bugged me in several pics (made me look short). Or wish he sometimes angled me or fixed my hair to show off my hairstyle or dress better for pics.
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Super May 2019
Megan · on June 20, 2019 at 8:48 PM
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My biggest disappointment was with my bridal party pics...we hardly have any posed photos of our whole party. We wasted 10 minutes of our time putting the boutonnières on the guys because we forgot. I wish we would have done more modern bridal party pics where we were mixed with each other vs. guys on one side, girls on the other. The only other thing was I wish we would have taken some on the backside of our venue because it had really cool natural wood look.

I didn’t want to give my photographer a huge shot list because I trusted her, and I just assumed I would remember the day of to say what I wanted...well I didn’t. So my suggestion would be to write down what you want and have a dedicated person (like your mom) remind you and kind of keep track of the time vs your timeline
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on June 20, 2019 at 9:11 PM
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Look forward instead of in the rearview mirror. You had a lovely Big Day and you’re married now (which was the true goal of the wedding). Focus on the marriage and find the same fun and excitement in your newlywed life.

I love living life in stages and enjoying each moment during its time. For example in relationships, there’s the stages of meeting one another... dating... engagement... wedding... newlywed life, etc. Each of those comes and goes. Each stage has their time to live in & enjoy and then it’s on to the next one to find excitement in. I mean, think about the “firsts” you’ll have over your 1st year as husband and wife.

It’s sad when I hear about “wedding blues” because it shows how much a social event was allowed to take over a bride’s life to the point of causing all this mental stress. It’s almost as if the wedding was more important than the marriage.

But if you’re still stuck on it, then maybe plan an anniversary party once the date is closer.
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