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Savvy September 2021

Post-elopement Celebrations

Ladyish, on June 1, 2020 at 3:21 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12
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Hey everyone!

My fiance & I are eloping (just us) later this year, and we want to have a celebration with all our family & friends shortly after. We were making it a casual, fun, backyard cookout affair. How do we politely mention that we are offering a limited bar (a couple of kegs, wine, and some bottles of hard liquor), but they can byob? (We're hosting our party at a private residence, not a venue) We want people to have fun, but we also don't want to go broke. Beverage, adult or not, adds up quickly.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Katharine, on June 2, 2020 at 1:24 PM
  • Kelsi
    Expert June 2020
    Kelsi ·
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    Since guests are likely to bring you gifts/money in celebration of your marriage, as a guest I would find it odd being asked to bring a potluck dish. However, you know your family/guests better than I would so they may be totally fine with it! Something to keep in mind however, is the fact that the fear over COVID19 is likely to last quite a bit so people may be hesitant to eat a meal that was not prepared professionally.

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  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
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    Thanks. After I read another discussion, I realized that traveling with the side dish would be a bit much, so I altered my post.

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  • Kelsi
    Expert June 2020
    Kelsi ·
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    No worries! If you're sending invites, you can add a little space at the end that just mentions something about "Limited bar available. Please feel free to bring your own refreshments."

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  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
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    Thanks! I'm one of those over-thinkers and a lot of times the simplest thing eludes me lol

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  • Kelsi
    Expert June 2020
    Kelsi ·
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    It's okay! Sometimes we all need a little help/reassurance on what we're already thinking Smiley smile

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I think you should avoid it exactly as you said it. You can just say keg of beer provided however if you prefer a different libation feel free to bring your preferred spirit. I've seen wedding invitations where they mention only beer and wine to be served so that way people knew in advance. Since it is in someone's backyard I'm assuming it's okay for a BYOB and I'm only saying that in case it is like a venue then you have to check with them hahaha.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Ah i did this on my wedding website. i said that there will be limited alcohol provided but that they can feel free to bring their own as well

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  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
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    Oh yeah, those venues have to make sure everything is on the up & up--which I completely understand and respect. My best friend has a nice large backyard that we're using. We want something just low-key and fun. No stress is our motto. Tho, I know at some point I will LOL

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  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
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    Smart! I didn't even really think about doing a website simply because we're eloping just us, and doing essentially a casual family backyard BBQ...didn't know if a website would be worth while?

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    That is a perfect wedding so yeah I would just say the invitation that beer will be served but if you prefer a different hi pod alcoholic beverage feel free to bring your own bottle.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I think this wording is great!

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  • Katharine
    Expert July 2021
    Katharine ·
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    We've just been communicating with the people we want to attend our elopement backyard cook out via phone, text, facebook and in person when possible. We'll provide the food (keeping it simple - hotdogs, burgers, sausages and some simple sides), with a couple friends we've asked to help start the food cooking as we return from the ceremony, and we'll provide some beer/wine/champagne. Knowing our friends, they will likely bring some food and alcohol themselves as well. I may set up an evite event, or Facebook event for this cook out, just to make sure everyone knows the plans, since either FH or I have everyone who would be coming on there.


    I think a lot depends on your friend circle, as to what they will accept and what they would be willing to do. We are not planning to ask anyone to provide any food or drink but, as I mentioned, a few of our friends tend to do that for any event whether asked to or not because that's just who they are.

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