Plus one’s

I mean honestly on your invites you would address it to whoever is invited

Examples:

Mr & Mrs So and So - 2 people invited

John Doe and Guest - 2 people invited

John Doe - One Person

you could also do on your invite rsvp's "we have reserved (number of seats) in your honor. If people don't like that they aren't getting a +1 then they don't have to come.

I'm not planning on giving people plus ones unless they are in a comitted relationship, like you said weddings are not cheap but my FH wants to give every single person a plus one.

For those that are in relationships, they get a plus one. Doesn't matter how long they've been together, or whether you think their relationship is serious or not.

If you're wanting to pick and choose who gets a plus1 based on budget alone, you'll more than likely have some upset guests. The ones that weren't permitted a plus1 will wonder why others did. Now, if you can't permit guests not in a relationship to have a plus1 because of covid restrictions, that's another story, and guests are more understanding of that.

Like PP mentioned above, you can address invites to whoever it goes to, and put the number of seats reserved for them.

No clue. They think they won't be to have fun without a date when they know half the people most of the time. I've been invited to countless events and weddings and never even heard of Plus Ones prior to WW. Even when I only knew the bride or groom, I still was able to enjoy myself.

A significant other is not a plus one. It is an automatic invite and doesn't matter that you have never met her nor is it your place to judge if they consider themselves to be a couple regardless of their time together.

Let them know point blank that you have space and budget issues.

Blame it on Covid. It’s not even a lie necessarily. Once you get into the planning process you will eventually see that you will have to significantly cut down your guest list depending on which state you live in.


Just put your foot down and correct them if they do that.
We are recently dealing with a similar situation. An old friend of my FHs no longer lives in the state, And he called my FH up a few months ago saying what’s up and that he wouldn’t miss our wedding for the world. This is after we had already sent the save the dates out. LOL, fast forward to last week, my fiancé sends a text message to him asking him if he was still considering going to the wedding. We haven’t gotten a response or a text back since lol. Sometimes people are really clueless. Needless to say we’re leaving him off the list.

I think it’s normal for people to assume they’re allowed a +1 for destination weddings. If it’s local, just address the invitations to whom you actually want in attendance 😊

In wedding planning I assumed it was the normal/proper to give all adults a +1 so that's how our guest list looks so far. Luckily though it's only about 100 people even with +1s 😂

View Quoted Comment Yeah, we decided everyone gets plus’s even if not in a relationship.

Well except for one friend who is a special circumstance, she can bring a plus 1 but her spouse is not invited. For very good reasons.

I wouldn't assume I could bring someone unless I was bringing a spouse or fiancé/fianceé.

This is interesting, because I have never heard of people NOT getting a plus one, or not having their significant others invited. I have been to over 50 weddings and every single one of them invited every persons significant other, and if they were single they were allowed to bring a date. I just assumed that was standard practice?

Seeing as how your wedding is next year, and Covid likely will not be imposing small guest list restrictions any longer, the proper thing would be to invite all couples together. Not doing that would be considered incredibly rude and poor etiquette. Whether or not to invite plus ones are considered up to the bride and groom’s discretion. Keep in mind though, a plus one is for a person who is NOT in a relationship. If somebody has a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, etc., that significant other is to be invited. That is considered a social unit, not a plus one.

This is honestly personal preference. My husband and I added plus ones to all of our single guests regardless of whether or not they were in a relationship. Not everyone we invited knew each other and we did mix our guests up in our seating chart so they could be close to people they knew and some they didn't know. We also had some out-of-town guests that didn't know our local guests so we wanted them to feel comfortable so we let them bring someone. We had to space (with our venue) and the budget to do so. If you don't want single individuals to have plus ones, I would recommend using Allison's suggestion about addressing the invite exactly to who it's for and having "we have reserved ____ seat(s) for you" on your RSVP so they know if they have a plus one or not.

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Thanks for the advice!! I guess I look at weddings as something personal and I would never assume I have a plus one unless it was stated. Married couples and people in a relationship are a given but I just don't agree with people wanting to bring a date to wedding who they're not dating or have any sort of relationship with. Just company, I guess, but I don't think a wedding is the place for that. Luckily mostly everyone we have invited is a unit so that eliminates a lot of stress. Just a few people who we need to decide if we are comfortable and willing to pay for their guest at our wedding.

I am only giving people a plus one if they are in a committed relationship and then I addressed it to both. I know in some circles it's normal to bring a date to a wedding. I personally never understoof that. In my single days, I've been to many weddings by myself but always knew other's there and always had a blast. I also know more than one story where people actually met their SO at a wedding. :-)

I would go with the "we have reserved ____ seat(s) for you" on your RSVP so they know if they have a plus one or not. But if people are used to plus ones for everybody they might be pissed. I wouldn't see it as bad intentions, just different expectations. Just decide what you want to do and communicate clearly but politely and assume the best.

We did an online RSVP and wrote on the envelopes the names of who was invited (Mr. and Mrs. X or just one name or Mr. and Mrs. and children) To one of our guests who didn't get a plus one apparently that was not clear (she is also quite young) and didn't get this subtle message and just RSVPed that she is bringing her almost-boyfriend. Oh well, I guess, now we have one more person there. For me it was too awkward a conversation to have to univite her plus one, so I just let it go and learned my lesson (though I am a bit annoyed).

Some very close friend's of my fiancé (basically his second family), we only invited the parents (because I honestly didn't expect that their grown up children wanted to come) but they kept asking if they could bring their grown up children plus daughter's boyfriend. At first I felt annoyed but actually now I feel it is very honoring that they all want to come. They don't have a ton of money and they have to fly and take a hotel. So, I think we can swing another chair and meal.

As to your FH's dad's 'gf'. I would assume by the time your wedding roles around she is either more than a 'gf' or out of the picture.

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Agreed. Although a significant other is not a plus one. I have never understood why people feel a random date is a requirement to enjoy yourself when the opposite proves itself all the time to be true that you can have a blast as a single without a date and it is not rude either.

I have ZERO qualms about politely telling people that we have limited seating and that they cannot bring a plus one. I'm not a bridezilla but I always hear about people getting pushed into inviting people to their wedding that they did not want, and I refuse to let that happen. We are paying for our wedding so we don't feel obligated, but even then I feel like that is wrong to make people invite certain people because they're paying for it. Unless it's family, then you will have to pick and choose that battle but friends and co workers and acquaintances definitely do not get an invite if I don't know them.Most of the people who know me know this so it won't be a problem....hopefully I won't have to be "that person". WISH ME LUCK!!

You're surprised that the groom's father's girlfriend assumed that she would be invited?

View Quoted Comment No I guess a short back story would be better. Grooms father and groom are not super close and when his dad got married he didn’t invite his son to either wedding. He has not met this girlfriend and has only emailed her like one time and she was rude to him. His dad isn’t really dating her”yet” and they are on and off again. I guess I just see it as if I didn’t get a personal invite or I’m not a spouse or commuted relationship, I wouldn’t expect an invitation. Clearly not everyone thinks like me and I was just getting advice about whether or not it would be rude. I don’t want to be rude. His dad gets a plus one regardless but it was other people we were mainly thinking about.