Plus Ones

People's definitions of plus ones tend to vary on here. A true plus one is a guest that your guest can invite when they are single. Anyone who is in a relationship should be invited with that partner by name. A plus one would be John Smith and guest, so they can bring a friend, a neighbor, a date, whoever. People should always be invited with their significant other because they are a social unit. However, it is not necessary to extend a plus one to a truly single person.

All couples in committed relationships should be invited together. Single wedding party members should each be given a plus one as well. As for single guests - if they will know a lot of people at the wedding already, and they live in the area that the wedding will be in, I think you can either give them a plus one or not. If they have to travel to your wedding, or if they won't really know anyone else at the wedding, it would be a nice gesture to give them a plus one.

What about if your brother in law wants to invite a not-very-nice ex wife? I planned on giving him a plus one, but he came to my fiance the other day saying the ex wife was throwing a hissy fit that she wasn't being invited. Neither my fiance or myself want her there & we don't want him using his plus one on his mean ex wife. Chances are, she'd cause a scene, not to mention she's legally leaving the family.

Absolutely NOT! She’s an EX! Your wedding is not her platform to cause a scene.

View Quoted Comment

Our sentiment as well, no way in heck we want here there. My question is really more so "Do I give him a plus one & tell him she's absolutely NOT allowed, or just take it away entirely because he didn't even know he was getting a plus one?"

Edit: Apparently he does know he's getting a plus one. So I guess our only option is to tell him she's absolutely not allowed, which we were doing in the first place, but he keeps a plus one.

View Quoted Comment That can go either way. Apparently the Ex has her claws in him & it might save him grief if he just tells her that he’s not allowed a plus one due to COVID restrictions.

View Quoted Comment Except she knows the kids are coming. & apparently he knows we intended a plus one for him so it'd be rude to revoke it.

View Quoted Comment Only other option is to either you & your fiancé tell her she’s not invited or he needs to tell her.

View Quoted Comment That's the plan. Not going to be pretty, but that's what has to happen. Don't think the brother in law really wants her there, he just doesn't want to hear her whine & complain probably

I'm the odd ball and I dont think it's rude to not give them.

I agree with Michelle 100 percent!!

Not everyone invited to our big wedding will receive a plus one. My husband and I sat down and decided who will receive one and who won't.


I would straight up tell him that she isn't invited and you're offering him a plus one but you and your husband doesn't want her at your wedding.

A true plus one is a random stranger that your invited guest brings along because they feel they will not be able to enjoy themselves among their family/friends otherwise. These also include random flings and noncommittal flavors of the month. Those are never required and most people skip them due to not wanting to spend money on people who truly do not care about them.


What people consider to be plus ones but are not, are spouses and significant others regardless of the amount of time they have been together. They are a social unit invited as a package deal. Being engaged with a ring is not a minimum requirement. If they just started dating, they get a couple invite. It is highly rude to ask someone to celebrate your relationship while disrespecting theirs.

View Quoted Comment Tell him if he has someone he is seeing at the time invitations are being addressed and sent out (10 weeks), he should tell you, give you her name and address, and you will send her an invitation, the way one does with Significant Others. But you are not giving out random date type plus ones. And under no circumstances are you inviting ex wife. If she shows up, with anyone, she was not invited by us and will be escorted out by security. Why should her adult tantrums be honored with an invitation?

Hi!

For my wedding, I am giving a plus 1 to my friends who are in relationships but not to my single friends. Personally, I find weddings to be an intimate thing between the couple who is going to be married. I rather have a family member or a close friend be able to watch such a special moment in our lives over someone I don't know. Especially now with the pandemic going on, most venues have a limit of how many people are able to join.

If my husband isn't invited, I'm not coming.

We're only giving plus ones to our friends and family that are dating, or in a committed relationship with someone.

Married and engaged couples are seen more as a package invite (no brainer) rather than a 'plus ones' invite!

So here is what we are doing:
-single guests: no plus one
-relationship: both invited (if they break up we would go “case by case” (like if we’re friends with one and they break up, we’ll just invite the one we’re friends with))Married/engaged: both invited!
Good luck!