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Ashley
Savvy May 2021

Plus Ones When Cutting the Guest List

Ashley, on January 2, 2021 at 4:48 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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My FH called me a bridezilla recently, and I wanted to figure out if I was being unreasonable. We are one of those weddings that had to postpone from last May 2020 to May 2021. We are looking like we will have to cut our guest list and probably uninvite people. I mentioned that if we are cutting people, might need to limit people from bringing guests. People who are in long-term relationships, I have no problem with. But, my idea was people who aren't dating anyone shouldn't get a plus one, including people in our wedding party. Previously we invited everyone and anyone who wasn't in a relationship got a plus one. But, I feel bad enough already cutting some of our family and friends that being able to not have plus ones would mean a few more people may be able to come. FH said that wasn't going to work and I was being a bridezilla for saying people couldn't bring dates, especially our wedding party. In a normal year, I wouldn't care. I feel bad not letting everyone have a date, but I feel worse having to send out you are uninvited cards to people.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Kj21, on January 3, 2021 at 2:18 PM
  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
    • Flag
    You’re not being unreasonable. You have to make cuts somewhere, why would you cut someone you know instead of a random date you’ve never met?
    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Expert May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    You aren’t obligated to provide Plus Ones for truly single people. However, I think your wedding party is a good exception to this. They are committing a lot of time and expense to being a part of your day, so I think allowing them to bring a guest is the proper thing to do.

    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Rockstar November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Completely agree with this.
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Devoted July 2021
    Lauren ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think this is unreasonable. If things don’t change I will have a 50 person limit, including us. So I would have 24 people to invite. My friends, even the married ones, have all told me to not worry about it. With only 24 people to invite they don’t expect their spouse/ SO to be one. People tend to be understanding now.
    • Reply
  • B
    Super July 2017
    Becky ·
    • Flag

    If they aren't in a relationship when the invitations go out, then a plus one is unnecessary (unless they won't know anyone other than you two and will be travelling). If they are in a relationship (regardless of length), then you'll need to invite their partner (by name), because they would then no longer be a plus one. You're not being a bridezilla.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this...maybe make the exception for the bridal party but even in a non pandemic year you could do that for budget purposes. Plus not seeing how that makes your a bridezilla. Some people incorrectly use that term.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Master October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    Why invite random strangers when you're cutting closest friends from the list? A significant other is not a plus one, and it's not fair to anyone if you ask someone to celebrate your relationship while disrespecting theirs (only acknowledging long term 1+ years together or engaged/married only). Single guests have fun all the time without dates.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    It’s hard enough to make these cuts & I feel your pain. You’re not being a bridezilla!
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica Online ·
    • Flag

    I think as long as you are allowing everyone in a relationship to bring their significant other then I think it's totally fine. I don't at all think you are being a bridezilla for not allowing random dates that you don't know for your single friends/family.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    No, you are not being unreasonable.
    • Reply
  • Jasmine Edwards
    Dedicated May 2022
    Jasmine Edwards ·
    • Flag
    This is a common question and I think a lot of people will be making the same decision. Plus ones for single people are never required or expected, especially in a pandemic situation.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Savvy November 2021
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    The wedding party should bring dates however not giving dates to people who are not in relationships is fine. If they won’t know by one at your wedding then maybe a date, but if it’s family that is single and will know many people there then they can survive without a date.
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna Online ·
    • Flag

    Sounds like your FH is being the unreasonable one here. Covid will definitely still be a thing in May, and random plus ones would take away from people who you really want there. In a normal world, extending plus ones to the wedding party may be the right thing to do, but this isn't a normal world right now.

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Devoted September 2021
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think that’s unreasonable. I was in my friends bridal party and my fiancé wasn’t. We’ve been together for 5 years, but with covid she could only have 50 people and wanted room for family. She asked if it was okay to uninvite my fiancé and I said of course. Later on he was invited again because many of her family members are older and didn’t feel safe attending with everything going on.
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy May 2021
    Kj21 ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think this is unreasonable! We are actually doing the same thing. We have a groomsman that we never planned on giving a plus one to (wedding is in May also) and he just started dating his gf 2 months ago. She still won’t get the invite due to COVID number restrictions unless things change drastically. I was planning on having a conversation with her but anticipate she will understand. Everyone I have spoken to has seemed to understand so far!
    • Reply

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