Plus Ones - Etiquette Changed?

Truly single people don't get plus ones automatically. Is not just the extra cost, but I don't want strangers at my wedding. There's only one person on our list bringing someone we have not met, and that's a groomsmen, and we have plans to meet this person prior to the wedding. I think it would be so weird, there I am at my wedding, "hi, I'm the bride, nice to meet you".

I would say if they're in the bridal party definitely give a plus one. And if you're inviting someone who doesn't know anyone. I would have been ok attending a wedding solo before my fiancé and I started dating if I knew other people there. Some here will say every single adult gets a plus one. But as previously stated it is weird to meet someone at their wedding (I was put in that situation as a partner of a groomsman and because we live far away from our family and friends currently we didn't have the opportunity to meet before the wedding).

Truly single people don't need plus ones, though it's a courtesy to those who don't know many people at the wedding. The plus one is for the guest, not for you as host. I've brought plenty of "strangers" to friends' weddings over the years I was single - usually a friend to dance and talk and drink with because I might only know the bride and groom. At those weddings, I would have been miserable alone and frankly wouldn't go. If I hadn't been given a plus one in those cases, I would assume the bride and groom actually didn't even want me there.

When you address a wedding to a family, that means children under the age of 18. If you address one invitation to a family with adult children, then it gets confusing.

Couples dont get plus ones they both get invited. Someone who is single is either given a plus one or not. I’ve never understood the “truly single” person doesn’t get plus one because then who is supposed to get one?

If you have room for plus ones the I don’t see why not but if you don’t have room, every person who is single wouldn’t get one.
Its a hard situation since she was in a relationship and is now single. But I think if she knows a bunch of other people then it’s not necessary especially the ones that have been single and didn’t just break up.

I only have a few single people that are attending. I gave them all pulse one's because most are coming from another state and will know few people other than me there. The other 2 got plus ones because I thought it was rude to single those 2 people out. That being said, it really is about who the singles will know, how many can you invite, and do you want people there you do not know. Either way is acceptable in my opinion. Hey if this person won't consider coming to a wedding without a plus one, that is her decision not to attend and you should not be made to feel bad about your decision regarding your wedding that you are paying for. That was rude on her part to state that.

Speaking from a guest perspective I’ve always been given a plus one when I’ve been invited to weddings when I’ve been single. I assumed it was normal to always give everyone a plus one until I came onto these forums. Now I think maybe I’ve just been lucky.

The rules I was told were if it's addressed Mr & Mrs. That's parents only. If it's the Family of then it's the family. (Should get own invite around 18, or if you know Younger than 18 personally/very close you address there own) It's only in invite for who is on the card unless they place name and guest(usual if you don't know anyone coming to wedding besides couple). If the couple knows the other person in relationships then it is addressed to both but sent to the friend of the couple. I.e I was invited by friend but my boyfriend was too his name was on the card to me. You necessarily don't send there own to there house unless they would be truly invited without the other in relationship.

We are giving every guest an option of a plus one

When daughter #2 got married I asked her what her thoughts were on single guests getting a plus one. Her response was "Oh, hell yeah. I have been that single guest at too many weddings where all my friends were couples and dancing together and I was just by myself. Everyone is getting a plus one." I reminded her that we agreed with a cap of 150 for the guest list and she said no problem.

I'm not giving truly single people a plus one if they know a bunch of people. A friend of my FH's was trying to say single people should always get plus ones because "he should be able to bring a random girl so he can get laid". I shot that one down real quick. This guy knows 20-25 people who are going to be here, he doesn't need to bring a random girl he hasn't even met yet to our wedding.

I see it like this- if the guest has to travel more then two hours I would strongly consider giving them a plus one. It’s one thing to go to a wedding and know a few people, if you can essentially leave whenever and be home in 15 min. It’s harder when you don’t know a lot of people and you’re 2+ hours away from home. BUT that’s just my opinion.
my wedding is 2.5 hours away so we gave everyone plus ones

We are getting married in our late-30's so most of our friends already are coupled but there a few that are not. They didn't get an automatic plus one (only the wedding party members did, regardless of relationship status) but we did invite them to the Rehearsal Dinner (all OOT guests are invited to the RD) regardless of they were OOT or not so they could meet other guests and get acquainted.

I'm not giving plus ones to people I know are single. We are only inviting those we know. If you just started dating someone, and my invites already have been sent out, its probably not for the new bf/gf. In the end I don't think people understand how expensive a wedding is. And we shouldn't have to be forced to invite people we don't know at all.

I am in your same situation.

FH and I have a few single friends who will know a handful of other people there. Will sit them all at the same table, they are not getting plus ones.

FH has three 18+ cousins that still live at home with their parents. Making invitation out to "The Lloyd Family". Can't justify sending 4 invitations to one household. Postage is expensive too lol.

I do not feel bad. These rules work for us. My parents are so generously paying for our wedding, and I am not trying to put them into the poor house over it. If we offered everyone a plus one we'd be pushing 250 guests. My venue is 200 pp with a 125 minimum for a Friday night, so we are trying our hardest to stick to that 125. And I will not exclude people I am actually close with to include someone's plus one that I've never met.

So I pretty much gave everyone a plus one unless told by them it was not needed.

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If the adult children live at their parents house, I don't feel that they need their own invitation...and either way that's not even what I'm asking about here. Addresses for invites isn't the topic, but plus ones for single friends is. I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether someone who knows multiple other people at the wedding and will be sat with them needs to be given a plus one or not.

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We are in the EXACT same situation! A few 18+ cousins that still live at home/are in college and living in dorms, my parents are paying, postage is expensive, and my venue has a max. I want to have my actual friends there, not people's plus ones who I have never met! LOL

I have been to weddings where I legitimately ONLY knew the bride and was 3 hours from home and I made friends and had a blast. I know that not everyone has that experience, but no one invited that I currently have down without a plus one doesn't know at least a few other people so I'm not worried about people needing to be outgoing like me.

Also, this specific friend that I am referencing is only invited as a courtesy...she and my FH had a fling before he and I met, and since we are now all in the same friend group, we have remained friends, but honestly, it wouldn't even be close to breaking my heart if she didn't show up. If it weren't rude for me to not invite her since she is part of our friend group and would be slighted, I would not include her at all.

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I agree with you completely!

When you break it out with everything spent with the venue and it's upward of $400 per guest, if I don't know someone's new gf/bf, they're not invited. The wedding night is short enough; I'm not trying to spend hours meeting people that uncomfortably are making small talk with me after shaking hands for the first time.

I disagree with a lot on here because I'm also not giving anyone single or newly dating in my wedding party plus ones. They will be in the rehearsal, they will be with me the entire wedding day getting ready, taking pics, etc...their new gf / bf that knows no one will be so awkward.

Give everyone a plus one if you're doing a bbq buffet and kegs of beer. If this is a super formal event and the cost to have a random buddy or stranger come to entertain one of your guests is expensive, then don't do it. This is your wedding, your money.

My wedding planners always say, ask yourself, would you spend $400 on this random person for dinner? Would you want to spend 15 minutes of your wedding night talking to someone you don't know? If you would, then go ahead and give everyone a plus one.

I only gave truly single people a plus one if they had to travel a distance to attend my wedding or if they wouldn't know anyone else there. Those that live nearby and have several other friends attending didn't get one.