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VIP September 2019

Plus One Requests...

Melissa, on August 21, 2019 at 9:48 AM Posted in Planning 0 9

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Question - How to tell a family member they cannot bring a guest?
So I was following up with my aunt about their (aunt uncle & 2 cousins, all in same house) RSVP. She said my younger cousin may not be able to make it due to her college schedule but asked if my other cousin could bring a plus one.
On one side, I see it as we already had 4 spots marked for them, but FH brought up the good point that others in the family did not get plus ones and it would be unfair, which I agree with. I’m just torn on how to tell my aunt without her getting bent out of shape, which I highly doubt she would, but still.

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Cher Horowitz, on August 21, 2019 at 7:21 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on August 21, 2019 at 9:58 AM
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“No” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to give them an explanation.
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 21, 2019 at 10:00 AM
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I would recommend kindly explaining that you are unable to extend the invitation to a plus one because others will not be able to bring theirs. Most people understand that plus ones are not always expected. My very close friend asked about bringing a friend and I had to tell her we just couldn't fit anymore. She gets it and will be arriving alone to help me get ready anyway.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on August 21, 2019 at 10:06 AM
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Since she seems to be a reasonable person, I’d just say exactly that. “Hi, we discussed it and I’m sorry, but in the interest of fairness, we aren’t able accommodate guests for any cousins”
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Dedicated June 2021
KimandLarry · on August 21, 2019 at 10:18 AM
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If none of the other guests are getting a plus one it wouldn't really be fair to give them one.
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Master December 2019
Courtney · on August 21, 2019 at 10:31 AM
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She (and your cousin) will just need to get over it. Like your FH said, it isn't fair to allow this plus one and not give that same courtesy to others.
I'm going through something similar with one of my cousins. We're following a "no ring, no bring" guideline for plus ones. Yes, she has been dating her boyfriend for a couple of years but I met the kid once and he couldn't even be bothered to say hello. So because she can't stand to be away from her boyfriend for a night, she's threatening not to come. Fine by me, you just saved me $150!
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Devoted August 2019
Kelsie · on August 21, 2019 at 10:51 AM
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I had a similar situation, but not family. A guest asked if she could bring someone else since her husband wouldn't be able to come and I just let her know while I appreciate her asking, we do have a venue limit and I had not heard back from other family members yet, so I would like to be sure family can attend first. She's planned a wedding, so it wasn't a shock to her that we did invite over our venue limit in hopes to reach the actual number after all RSVPs were in.
But, in your case, I really don't think it would be wrong to explain that you have not allotted any plus ones to other family members, so you would like to be fair.
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Expert October 2020
L. Thomson · on August 21, 2019 at 11:40 AM
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I think the direct approach is always best. Tell her that you appreciate her asking, but you are are not having plus ones since you want to make sure you have room for family and close friends. If you allow 1 person to have a plus one, this really could cause drama you don't need.
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VIP September 2019
Melissa · on August 21, 2019 at 11:58 AM
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Thank you all for the advice! She was understanding, which I’m very happy about lol
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 21, 2019 at 7:21 PM
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I'm so glad it turned out well!
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