Plus one note on website

This is a big fear of ours too! We are pretty direct on our invitations and our wedding website is pretty direct as well. I use minted.com and When our guests will RSVP it shows them how many people they select four. When they see that they only get one option, I think they will take the hint.

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Ugh! You would think, but I've literally had 3 families reach out saying that I "miscounted" and that they wanted to let me know that if 'cousin Joe' has a plus one (his fiancé), then 'cousin Ed' should get one too, who isn't even in a relationship. I don't know if it's just my family, but they seem to think it's an open to the public event

View Quoted Comment I totally get this! But Trust me! You’re going to want to put your foot down on this one! I find that the same people that either assume an invite or demand/assume a plus one are often times the same people that don’t RSVP, or RSVP yes and then don’t show up.


For example, my fiancé‘s friend from back in the day who lives in a different state that we were engaged. He calls him up to see how he’s doing and says I won’t miss your wedding for the world!! Lol We had no plans on inviting him. We broke down and sent out the save the dates. My FH recently reached out to him to see if he was still interested in coming to the wedding (we were doing this with everyone because we wanted to get a feel of how everyone felt about coronavirus) and he hasn’t even responded to his text yet LOL it’s been like three weeks since my FH reached out to him haha. Needless to say he’s off the list. But I feel like this is what happens, Especially when you start inviting people that you don’t have a strong relationship with. They often times don’t care about RSVPing or telling you you’re still attend and then not show up. I don’t think they understand that you’re actually paying for their meal

It seems like you've already put something on your website, but you can add that there will be assigned seating as well.


As for people who call, no is a complete sentence. Don't make up excuses or justify yourself, just say that the guest list is set in stone and you simply cannot accommodate additional guests. End of conversation.
If you do anticipate additional guests anyway, have a DOC who can make sure everyone has their assigned seat and also turn people away who were not invited.

I'm so scared of this! We just know someone is going to bring a guest or their child who isn't invited. I've put it on the invitations, on our site, and at this point I'm mentioning it to people in conversation just so it's crystal clear.

People who think this behavior is ok are the ones who say etiquette is outdated. They will not ask permission first and will not return their reply cards either. I'm surprised they announced it at all.

The only thing you can do is address the invites by name. If you have the option, list the invited names on the reply card so there is no room for confusion. Also be very blunt when they do reply with another name that you cannot accommodate the other person. People with manners do not do this.