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Savvy November 2021

Plus one issues

Breanne, on July 11, 2021 at 12:04 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
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I am having late night stress about my fiancé s few single friends or some are supposedly talking to girls but anyway I do not want extra people there we do not know or them to invite someone just because. Our wedding is so small as it is! How do we go about telling them no plus one's, without me sounding like a total b-word and putting tension between the friends and me or my fiancé?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Breanne, on July 12, 2021 at 4:29 PM
  • R
    Dedicated October 2021
    Ruby ·
    • Flag
    It must come from your fiancé. A couple of my friend’s did this and they worded it as having limited number of guests and can’t accommodate plus ones.
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    You address the invitation to the person you are inviting, only, and in your RSVPs you say you are reserving one seat for them. (Or you do it online, and they can't add another person.)

    Many, many people draw the line at "couples only". And some even get particular about what defines a couple (look, if you're my best friend and you suddenly have an SO that I have never met... no, you're not getting that plus one), but if people have been together long enough to be referred to as a couple.. they are a social unit. (A few dates in when you are sending invites does not a couple make.)

    Anyone who complains is being rude and the subject can be changed.

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  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    Have they asked for plus ones? If so (that’s very rude but), have your fiancé tell them you have a limited guest list with no plus ones. If they haven’t brought it up then just address the invite to them only.
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  • B
    Savvy November 2021
    Breanne ·
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    I just do not know that they will understand or listen to it just being them
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  • Jasmine S.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
    • Flag
    People who are single or "just talking" (like went on a few dates with someone) don't need a plus 1. Don't even worry about adding one to those invites.
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  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    Well they can’t just bring uninvited guests. If you think they’d really do that you need to have a direct conversation and let them know the invite is for themselves only and no additional guests will be allowed in. I’d also re-examine a friendship like that in general.
    • Reply
  • B
    Beginner May 2022
    Beckie ·
    • Flag
    I stand with do what you and the future spouse think is best because I asked the same question and am getting told I need to extend a plus one to and I can’t determine who is in a relationship and who isn’t but then I see comments on your post stating it’s rude for people to ask for a plus one (which I full hearty agree with) but getting told I’m the rude one on my same question. So I’m still confused on the matter and am just sticking to the OG plan of who gets one and who doesn’t and the people that are asking me aren’t getting one because they aren’t in a serious relationship they just want to bring their fling which I find rude!
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  • B
    Savvy November 2021
    Breanne ·
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    I think I know what I'm going to do. Address invitations strictly only to them and my fiancé says he will mention to them that they do not get plus ones because our wedding is so small to begin with. Most of them are single there is only one who is talking to someone and he refuses to introduce her to our friend group so that is what we have decided to do. And if anyone thinks we are the ones being rude they can screw off its our weddings and we should do whate we want. I've started to get really annoyed with alot of things and people in my family, friends, wedding stuff so just remind yourself as I am trying too also its only about you and your fiancé making this life time commitment.
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