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MariaPaz
Dedicated November 2017

Plus one for co-workers

MariaPaz, on July 10, 2017 at 9:44 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21

So, I am working on my invitations and I am inviting all my co-workers to my wedding which they are not too many of them. My boss is invited with his wife (I am friend with his wife) but I have 3 other co-workers that are married, but I don't know their husbands at all and I am not sure if I should invite them with their plus one. We don't usually go out outside work, but at the office we are closed. I am debating if I should invite them solo or not.

If I invite their husbands, I would have to cut other people because it is going over our limit.

Anyone have had a similar case?

Any suggestions?

21 Comments

Latest activity by Lauren, on September 9, 2019 at 1:41 PM
  • Choua
    Super August 2017
    Choua ·
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    You should invite their husbands too. Numbers can add up quickly but I think it is etiquette to invite them as a social unit.

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  • Jeanmarie
    Super December 2017
    Jeanmarie ·
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    If someone is in a relationship then their SO should be invited (by name). It wouldn't be a "plus one".

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  • Sarah
    Devoted September 2017
    Sarah ·
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    Husbands are not plus ones. Plus ones are given to single people.

    You have to invite them both as they are a social unit.

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  • Lindsay
    Dedicated October 2017
    Lindsay ·
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    Definitely invite with their husbands.

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  • Spaghetti
    VIP November 2018
    Spaghetti ·
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    Yep, I agree. You need to invite both and list their names, not a plus one.

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  • Vicki
    Master November 2017
    Vicki ·
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    You definitely need to include their husbands. Never separate married couples.

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  • MariaPaz
    Dedicated November 2017
    MariaPaz ·
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    Thank you all for the suggestions. I will have to see how to add them to our list

    • Reply
  • JennV
    Master October 2017
    JennV ·
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    Hi Maria - so, I'm totally going to go against what everyone is saying as I did not invite the husbands of my coworkers. I have a group of girlfriends who all go out together and its typically a 'girls night' type thing so I did not feel the need to invite them. None of them have been upset about it at all. I think it depends on the dynamic.

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  • Anne
    Master April 2017
    Anne ·
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    @JennV it doesn't depend on the dynamic. A wedding invitation is different than a "girls night" thing. Etiquette dictates that you must invite both members of a social unit. Period. It is rude to invite someone without their significant other.

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  • RaeGin
    Master September 2017
    RaeGin ·
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    I also don't consider a husband/boyfriend/fiance to be a plus 1.

    @JennV, I think this is another thing that falls into the category of: No one will tell you they're upset, but they will possible/probably be upset.

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  • JennV
    Master October 2017
    JennV ·
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    @Anne I understand its etiquette but that's not how I did it. It may be "wrong" but this is how we (all the girls that are in this group and have gotten married) have done it

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  • TheeOne2Love
    VIP December 2017
    TheeOne2Love ·
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    Well first and foremost I wouldn't be inviting any coworkers you do not have a relationship with outside of work OR their husbands lol. But if you must invite them, their husbands need to be included. They are not plus ones. Plus ones are for single guests.

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  • Meaghan
    VIP April 2017
    Meaghan ·
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    It's kind of all or nothing with coworkers. Personally I'd just invite the boss and wife because it sounds like his wife is a friend anyway. If you don't regularly hang with these women outside work, I wouldn't invite. It also starts hurt feelings in the office because you'll overlook *someone* possibly. Unless it's a very small office. Otherwise- yes husbands must be invited too per etiquette.

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  • Makela
    Expert October 2017
    Makela ·
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    I only invited 3 people from work and their SO's 2 are married and the other will come alone.

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  • MariaPaz
    Dedicated November 2017
    MariaPaz ·
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    Well, It depends, I been invited alone to other parties without my fiance (boyfriend at the time) I didn't feel offended at all.

    My office is small, that is why I can invite all my co-workers. I guess I am going to invite them with their significant other wishing they don't bring them with them. lol.

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  • Cayley
    Devoted November 2018
    Cayley ·
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    You should really consider inviting their HUSBANDS, not their "plus ones". On the envelope they should both be addressed by name.

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  • L
    Beginner June 2017
    Lindsay ·
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    I invited my coworkers and their SOs but they ended up leaving their husbands at home and treated it like a girl's night (how I would typically socialize with them, a group of us girls going out). This was entirely their choice, a choice I simply found out when they RSVP'ed, so I would judge based on how well you know these people. Would they do something like this(Girl's night, social group)? or would they want their SOs to come?

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  • Malei
    Super October 2018
    Malei ·
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    I was debating inviting my bosses and counterparts since it's not that many, either. But when I saw the difference of how inviting their SO would bring my numbers up, and considering it was for people I don't even know, I just cut inviting everyone altogether. But I'm also sure that they'd understand not being invited... as long as no one else was. Lol

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  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Kristle ·
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    I was invited to a coworker’s wedding, as were my other coworkers, without a plus one. Most of us are engaged or married. No one was upset about it. I know it goes against typical etiquette but we were all happier to just dance and hang out together rather than entertain our partners who didn’t know each other or the couple getting married. The bride let us know ahead of time it would just be us and no one was offended.
    • Reply
  • Norma
    Beginner October 2019
    Norma ·
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    Maybe im rude but im considering the same. im having a small wedding of about 50 guests... that means 25 on each side. i have a big family so i know feelings will be hurt either way. I work with 4 other people and they are all married and have kids. Im sorry but i can't remove some of my family from my list just to follow etiquette. i am planning on talking to each of them beforehand because i would like them there as well. i would invite everyone if i could. at the end of the day, its not personal.
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