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Just Said Yes April 2021

Plus one etiquette

Kathryn, on December 2, 2019 at 12:05 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 9
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I am planning my wedding for about 6 months away. I previously told a good friend that we had room for her to bring a plus one because she was living with her boyfriend. I do not know her boyfriend but my fiance does (fiance didn't want to invite the boyfriend as he doesn't like him).

However, since then, my friend broke up with her boyfriend and moved to a different state. They are still friends and she is planning to stay with him when she comes back for my wedding.

We are on a tight budget and have also added several family friends to the guest list since I originally said my friend can bring her now ex-boyfriend.

Is it rude to take back her plus one? I have not sent the formal invitations yet as we are about 6 months out from the date. I sent a save the date only to her and mailed it to her new address out of state.


9 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on December 2, 2019 at 2:44 PM
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    If you extended a plus one to her, I would let her keep it. It might hurt her feelings if you revoke what you already promised her

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Yeah it would be in bad taste to revoke that. I say just pay the cost of the head and maybe someone will back out last minute. Tell your FH he needs to deal with him for the one day.

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  • Elizabeth
    Beginner September 2020
    Elizabeth ·
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    Yeah I think you have to let her keep the plus one..
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  • M
    Expert September 2020
    Marcia ·
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    I think you need to let her keep the plus one in this case.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Did you tell her she had a plus one or did you tell her that she could bring her boyfriend? These are very different things. If you specifically said she could bring her boyfriend, who she is no longer with, then you don’t need to include him in the invitation. If you told her she could bring a plus one, which doesn’t specify who she must bring, you need to stick to your word.
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  • Sagan
    Super July 2017
    Sagan ·
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    Your bridal party should definitely be allowed to bring a guest. Do not rescind.
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  • K
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    Kathryn ·
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    She isnt in the bridal party, just a guest. To answer some of the other questions, I told her I had room for a plus-one when she specifically asked about bringing her then-boyfriend a few months ago. Thanks for all the input!
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Well...then you can go with what Caytlyn says. Your FH seems to not want him there anyhow. Maybe ask her if you have not done so, is she still planning on bringing him because he was included when they were together but since the split you have replaced him with other guests. Try to feel her out and if she seems like she is getting on the offensive then maybe to preserve friendships let her bring him. What do you think?

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Since she was asking specifically about the boyfriend at the time, you don't need to give her a new plus one then!

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