Hi Brides (and grooms), I need help on how to politely and with class address the fact that we are not allowing plus ones at the wedding. I thought about just listing on the invite or on a separate little insert “due to capacity limits, please respect our wishes of no plus ones”. We are inviting our couple friends but I would love to avoid every one single over the age of 18 bringing a stranger I don’t know. Help please!! 🥲
Latest activity by Courtney, on February 9, 2021 at 3:47 PM
I addressed the invite specifically to who I wanted there and made the website not allow plus ones. If they texted or called wanting to add I said no because of covid restrictions. Thankfully I only had 6 people who weren’t married coming. We also limited our guests to only over 21
You don't really need to address it. Just address your invitations to the names of those invited! As long as you are including the significant others of people in relationships, it's perfectly fine to not include random plus ones! We didn't either
Do you have a wedding website with a FAQ tab? If so, you can do what we did and just list it on there.
We also cannot accomodate for every single guest to have a plus one, so we just addressed their STD and invite to them only. We didn't put their name "and guest". The same goes for when they go to RSVP online. It will only have their name. On our FAQ tab, we have a questoin regarding plus ones and our response is: "Due to capacity limits we are not able to extend our invite to plus ones. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact us."
If you're worried, you can say something in the FAQs on your wedding website. It was pretty clear with ours that plus ones were not included because guests had to pre-select their entree choice when RSVP-ing. Another option is to include the phrasing X# of seats reserved on the RSVP cards.
Significant others, whether together 4 months or 45 years, are an automatic invite as a social unit. You cannot ask someone to celebrate your relationship and disregard theirs. A true plus one is a random stranger that a single guest invites under the idea they cannot enjoy themselves without a date because they allegedly don't know the rest of their family/friends in attendance. If that is the case, why even attend? They are required nor is it rude to not invite a plus one.
A random stranger is someone who doesn't want to be there and they don't care about the couple. Weddings are too expensive to spend on people who don't care. The same applies to obligatory invites you are pressured to include by family whose opinions don't pay the bills.
I am definitely writing this post concerning the randos.
But you do bring up a good point in your first few sentences, so lets say my fiance has cousins with girlfriends but he doesn't know the gf's name and they don't live together, how do you address those invites to let them know they are welcome?
How many “single” people are you inviting? Overall we only had like 6 people not married or engaged so we just gave them a plus one because I know they have someone they are dating but it’s not at the stage where I would invite them myself. In that case you give a plus one
Same as PP, I addressed the envelopes to those who are invited and added a note to my FAQ section on my site saying due to covid, we have a limited guest list and cannot accommodate plus ones at this time
Our wedding website says this under FAQ: While we would love for all of our extended loved ones to join in on our special day, our hands are tied due to limited guest capacity and COVID-19 regulations. We carefully chose those nearest and dearest to attend in person. We will be broadcasting our ceremony virtually in the "Virtual Ceremony & Scheduling" tab for those that are unable to attend.
I agree with the previous comments! Be mindful of how you address the envelopes for your invites ("Mr. John Doe" instead of "Mr. John Doe & Guest"), and also add a line to your RSVP card that says something along the lines of, "We have reserved __ seat(s) in your honor", and then fill in the number of seats (1) on the line. You could also add a note on your website (maybe in the FAQ section?), stating that you had to limit your guest count due to COVID, and are unfortunately unable to accommodate additional guests beyond those invited.
As others have said, just addressing directly to the invited is the way to go, but if you know someone is in a relationship even if you don't know their SO's name they deserve to be invited together since they're a social unit.
For people that you know are truly single, it's nice if you can find a way to include a guest for them if you/FH are the only people they'll know at the wedding. If they're college friends and you'll have several people there from those days that they'll know it's fine to not give them those extra guests. If I got invited to a wedding and the only person I knew was the bride I wouldn't go if I was the only person invited.