Plus One Etiquette - Significant Others or no?

It is proper especially to include the significant other of those in the bridal party. This also is proper for any spouse or long term relationship of a guest.

I would be upset. Significant others of guests should be invited. It's weird to me that a couple decides to exclude partners of what is essentially a celebration of coupledom. No one wants to dance with another guests partner, and when you are shelling out 100s of dollars and giving up more time than a normal guest would, it's rude.

Me personally, if my spouse was a groomsman, then he is close enough to the group to ask. If I wasn't invited, my spouse probably wouldn't go, especially if other guests got to bring their SO's and he didnt.

Most people are new to wedding planning or large event planning, so the couple may have heard of an arbitrary guideline, "no ring, no bring". However, not every couple gets married, yet their commitment is still legitimate. Have your partner request a space for you and give the couple the opportunity to reconsider their insensitive guidelines. If they still won't budge because of cost, etc, but expect your partner to pay for attire, transport, and bachelor parties, etc., I would suggest your partner decline the role of groomsmen.

Wait. They want him to travel to another state, not to mention all the other responsibilities of being in a wedding, and don't feel like they should permit him to have his long-term partner there? That's....so rude. Jesus Christ. The only time no plus ones allowed is okay with me, personally, is if the wedding is micro. I'm talking like 20 or less micro. Anything else is a slap in the face. If you cannot afford to host your guests + their spouse, you need to cut your guest list. I agree with Michelle that your partner should decline.

It's not at all unreasonable for you to be upset by this. What does your boyfriend think of this exceptionally rude lack of courtesy by his cousin?

May I ask how you found out you weren't invited? The optimist in me would love to believe they just addressed the save-the-date to him only or made a mistake entering a name on an online guest list or something, but the realist in me isn't exactly surprised that someone would do something rude like that (and it's definitely rude not to include someone's significant other when they're in the bridal party and the wedding involves travel).

The etiquette used to be that you were obligated to invite partners of anyone married, engaged or living together. Today, it is also appropriate to include mature couples in long term committed relationships who function as a social unit.

Since you were under the impression that you were being invited, your BF could call to see if you were meant to be included. Some people are just clueless.