Plus one and destination wedding etiquette ?

Theoretically, you are not obligated to include a plus one. In reality, would you travel to a destination wedding on your own? You are asking your guests to spend what may be their annual vacation money on your wedding. Most people go on vacation with someone.

You can tell them they are welcome to bring a companion on the trip but that you may not be able to accommodate them at the wedding.

You also need to keep in mind that you are one year out and many of your single guests may no longer be single next year.

I think for a destination wedding, everyone should have a plus one (i.e. travel companion). I would never travel alone on a vacation. I'm not sure you should have reserved a venue that doesn't have capacity for this.

If he's part of a group of 20 friends, it doesn't sound that much like a small or intimate wedding.

What do you intend to do about currently single friends who may be in serious relationships by the date of your wedding?

If any of these single guests are family that would have parents/grandparents/aunt/uncles/cousins there then its fine for them to not have a plus one but if any of them are just friends and not related to anyone coming to the wedding, I would give them a plus one. No one likes to travel/stay in a hotel alone. And I'm sure they're spending a decent amount of money to even come to the wedding, so it would be generous for you to allow them to bring someone.

This person might be traveling with a group of friends, but depending on where you wedding is, they might travel before/after which would most likely leave them alone. Also, as said above depending on how many of these friends are single makes a difference, and they won't have the benefit of sharing some costs.

We're having a DW and bending over backwards to allow our guests to have a +1 or even families (one family asked if they could bring their sons soon to be fiancé and we agreed!). We also have a capacity limit and only invited VIPs so we can be sure to host them well. Not everyone will agree with this but if its just the one dude asking to bring his cousin and y'all can swing one more, then why not let him!

I don't think his question was rude, its a valid question and he's asking for clarification. If he spoke to someone else that is a couple, he is probably wondering why he has to go it alone and clearly he doesn't want to.

I am also having a destination wedding in July, so I totally understand that you are limited due to the venue/cost, but you have to put yourself in your guest shoes with this one. You should absolutely be planning this day centered around you and your fiance, which is why I am assuming you chose destination. I have a HUGE family and wouldn't be able to afford a local wedding without shelling out $50k+, so we opted for destination to widdle down the list and we'd rather spend the same amount of money and party for a week long with our fam and friends not just 5 hours. With that, there are a few things keep in mind:

1. you are asking your closest family and friends to spend THOUSANDS of dollars to attend your event. They are doing it out of love for you two (some out of obligation).

2. Just because they are single, doesn't mean they should be penalized and not have a plus 1.

3. Would you travel abroad alone? Not everyone is travel savvy, so most would feel more secure traveling with a partner. I travel very frequently, but for safety reasons, my fiance would never let me travel internationally alone unless I have a hired driver that is with me.

4. Would you attend a wedding alone? I wouldn't even if it's in my home town.

Naturally, you'll shed some numbers because some people either don't want to go that far or cannot afford to go that far. About 25% of my guest invited are not coming, but that was after cutting our original guest list from 225 to 100.

This is was a great exercise for my fiance and I to review our relationships. The question we asked to help us narrow down our list were:

A. When was the last time we spoke? (like actually hearing each others voices)

B. If we would be heart broken if they weren't there.

If capacity is a thing and you don't want to go over a certain number, then I would recommend narrowing down your list further so your single folks can bring a companion.