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Chrissey
Just Said Yes June 2020

Plus one allowed to have a plus one

Chrissey, on January 11, 2020 at 4:44 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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I really need advice on this..My sister who is my maid of honor assumed that her 2 step children (age 20 and 21) are allowed to bring a plus one each. I addressed it with her and explained it is not in my budget. I also stressed I only invited very close friends and immediate family. She insist that they should have a plus one and she has no problem paying for their plate of food. I feel awful ..I'm not going to take money from my sister...I am sad..upset..all in one..Do I just let it be? Is there another way I can approach her again about this.. I now feel obligated to allow others to bring a plus one.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Vicky, on January 11, 2020 at 3:53 PM
  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2020
    Kathryn ·
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    Are they in a relationship? If not, then them getting a plus one is a courtesy, not a right. You don't have to allow them to invite people you don't know if you want an intimate wedding. I'm normally pro plus ones because these people are coming to celebrate your love so should have someone, but I can also see your side of just wanting family. Especially if you're having an intimate ceremony! Stand your ground on strangers, but if they're dating anyone they really should be invited in my opinion.
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  • Chrissey
    Just Said Yes June 2020
    Chrissey ·
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    Thank you so much for responding. Yes, both in relationships. I actually do not really know my sister's step children that well either. They moved into her home about 6 months ago but apparently are in relationships. I will let it be..again thank you for reading and responding.
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  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2020
    Kathryn ·
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    Yep, if they're dating anyone than you should let them come. I still don't talk to my aunt because she wouldn't allow my then boyfriend to go to my cousin's wedding despite the fact that we were living together and well into our second year of dating. Even though you don't know them well, if you can afford it I would just let them come. Her step kids are still family, even if only by extension.
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  • M
    Devoted September 2019
    Meaghan ·
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    Yes, if people are 18 or over, and in a relationship, their partners should be invited with them.
    A plus one is something only given to truly single guests and the host may choose to extend it at his or her discretion. This does not sound like a plus one situation as they are in relationships and therefore are a social unit.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Let them come but cut back where you can por let her gift be their dinner cost.
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  • Allyson
    Devoted February 2020
    Allyson ·
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    I honestly would be very uncomfortable with this, but if you do want to let it slide, I would definitely let her pay for the meals.
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  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    This is exactly the reason we kept our wedding intimate. We have some amazing friends who we wanted to invited but then we wanted to invite their grown children. Their grown children have significant others that we don't know. It became an ever growing list of people we don't even know. So we finally said no and kept it ridiculously small!
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    If you’re inviting them, their SO’s should also be invited. If you don’t know your sister’s adult stepchildren, though, I don’t think you need to invite them.
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  • Kim
    Beginner August 2020
    Kim ·
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    I don't think you need to invite them. This is your wedding and if you want just family and close friends, then your sister should respect that.
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    If they're in relationships then yes, they should be invited with their SOs. That's not a plus one. A plus one is a fill-in-the-blank guest given to single guests so they can bring someone of their choosing to accompany them. People in relationships should always be invited together as they are a social unit.

    Your sister's adult stepchildren are also not plus ones for her, they're either invited guests of yours, or they're not. You can choose whether or not to invite them, but if you do invite them then you need to invite their partners as well.

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