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Devoted December 2019

Please my mom or myself?

on December 9, 2019 at 10:20 PM Posted in Planning 0 11

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My mom wants “let me call you sweetheart” to play during my reception, where people make 2 circles (one in the other) around the bride and groom and sing the song to them. Now when I told my mom over the summer I wasn’t doing it she started crying and fought me hard on it. I’m getting married on Friday and I’m so torn on what to do because I really DONT want to. My brother did it at his wedding to please my mom. My fiancé’s family (68/132) are super foreign and have never heard or seen this, 45 are friends and then literally only 20 from my family. Over 110 people won’t know what’s happening and likely won’t participate so I’ll just be painfully embarrassed. I’m an anxious person so I’m dreading this.

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Lady, on December 11, 2019 at 2:18 PM

Rockstar July 2019
Veronica · on December 9, 2019 at 10:25 PM
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It is your wedding so do what makes you happy. Your mom might be upset if you don't include it, but unless she wants to cause a scene she will keep her feelings to herself. It sounds like she is trying to manipulate you in order to get what she wants. She will continue to do so if you let her.
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Expert March 2021
Jordan · on December 9, 2019 at 10:33 PM
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Do whatever will make you happy! I know it is hard to say no and stand your ground to family members, but at the end of the day it is all about you and your FH.
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January 2019
MOB So Cal · on December 9, 2019 at 10:35 PM
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If you're super uncomfortable about it, I'd tell your mom, no. You need to be comfortable about what's going on at the wedding, and especially since there will be so many people in attendance who don't know the song/tradition, she needs to let it go. (Is it something that could be done at the rehearsal? Are you/could you do a mother-daughter dance to the song, where she could sing it quietly to you?) I was the MOB. There were definitely some ideas I had about daughter's wedding that I thought would be awesome, but as soon as it was clear she did not agree, I dropped them. (A couple of them made me a little sad, but I got over it....) Good luck! Hold your ground!
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Super October 2020
Leslie · on December 9, 2019 at 11:51 PM
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Depends on whose paying, how close you’re to your mom, and if it’s a family tradition. Maybe rehearsal dinner instead as an alternative?
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Super August 2021
Dierdra · on December 10, 2019 at 3:32 AM
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If you are saying no you should also let your DJ know so she doesn't trying going around you to make it happen. I also agree with Leslie - the rehearsal dinner would be a good alternative. We have some traditions that I am keeping to please family but only because I love carried family traditions. It comes down to you and your family. Regardless your wedding will be amazing. Don't sweat it!
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on December 10, 2019 at 8:36 AM
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You should do what makes you happy. Your mom will be caught up in the vending and hopefully won’t make a big deal about It. Just make sure to let your DJ know in case she goes to him.
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VIP February 2020
Lauren · on December 10, 2019 at 10:22 AM
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I agree with others that if it's not what you want, you shouldn't have to do it! My mom, originally, really wanted me to walk down to "Here Comes the Bride", but I really didn't want to. I voiced my opinion, and she was upset at first but got over it. She now loves what I'm walking down to! Don't feel pressured into doing something at your wedding that you're not comfortable with.
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Rockstar July 2018
Mcskipper · on December 10, 2019 at 1:11 PM
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Can you compromise and play the song without the dance? Maybe instead do a mother-daughter dance with her while it plays ? You don’t have to be the only ones on the floor but to invite her to have that dance with you could still be a special moment that somewhat satisfies her desires yet doesn’t make you feel awkward
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on December 10, 2019 at 1:23 PM
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Could you play the song (no dance) during the cake cutting maybe? If it makes you uncomfortable, it is really unfair of your mom to push this so hard! Do what makes YOU comfortable, it is you wedding!
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Dedicated December 2020
Allison · on December 10, 2019 at 5:57 PM
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I know it will be hard, but it's your wedding and you're adamant about it not happening. I would put your foot down and say no, then do as another reply suggested and let your DJ know so no one tries to get away with it behind your back.
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Lady · on December 11, 2019 at 2:18 PM
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Just tell your DJ not to play the song under any circumstances. If mom gets mad about it later, just say "oh man, DJ totally forgot to play it" or something like that. Regardless, don't do it if you don't want to.
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