Please help with wedding vows!

If you're really struggling, maybe he will agree to doing more formal vows at the altar, and reading more personalized letters to one another during your first look.

Otherwise, honestly, I've never seen anyone lose it at the altar. I think most people are so in the moment and happy they don't fall to pieces.

Maybe you could still find something somewhat generic but insert your own little personal touches to make it more "you".

@AMW - We both chose to not do a first look, for many reasons, but that would have been a better idea! It sucks, I get major ptsd from speech class, so I just know it's going to happen! Lol.

@Lindsey that sounds like a good idea, you don't think he would be upset that he wrote his from scratch and I didn't put as much effort in?

I appreciate the responses, I just know this is like the most crucial part of the ceremony and I want to make my vows special, since he put so much effort in. Sometimes it's just impossible for me to say out loud, lol.

Maybe you could talk to him about you guys saying your vows privately? Or I've heard of people saying their vows but not into the microphones and just to each other. I'm with you on the stage fright! I'm not even saying vows, we are going to just say "I do" and that's it because there is absolutely no way I'm saying more than that and my FH understands. Good luck!

I really wanted to write our own vows, but I am a crier and FH told me I wouldn't be able to make it through them. So we're doing traditional vows and a box ceremony for our unity ceremony. We'll write letter to each other to put in the box with a glass of wine and open it on our anniversary. That way, we get the best of both worlds.

Thank you so much ladies, all of those are really great ideas. I love @krclark7's idea of putting the letters into the box. Then I get out of speaking (mostly) entirely! If he doesn't like the box idea, I like @Amanda's suggestion, and I will probably try that and look for something both meaningful, but not as difficult to express.

Practice. write them and tweak them and practice reading them so you can wring some emotion out of them. I practice every week and I still start crying so im a bit worried lol.

My friend who got married this summer said she knew that she would "lose it" so their vows were one line and the officiant filled the rest of the time.

I've had very nervous brides and/or grooms and will ask them the vows in the form of a question. That way, they can just reply, "I do."

At one wedding, the groom was fine before and after the ceremony, but in reading the vows he had written, he started to stutter and choke really badly. Fortunately, I had a copy and was able to prompt him a bit. He wasn't able to read his vows, but he was able to repeat 3-4 words at a time.

If you think you can't do it, just tell him so. Otherwise, you'll spend the whole ceremony dreading when it will be your turn to speak. You won't be able to enjoy the ceremony.

If you think you can do it -- just practice over and over to get some of the emotion out beforehand.