Please Help Us! My family wont travel for my wedding!

First of all, if you already booked your venue, then I don't know if there is an option at this point.

Destination weddings are expensive for guests...that's just the way it is. By choosing to have a DW, you have to accept that people aren't going to make it who would otherwise come. Do I think that your immediate family shouldn't come? No, but I'm sure they will calm down and be reasonable. You said "your family," but can you be more specific...is it your parents who are refusing to come or your cousins?

The only people I think would definitely come are siblings, parents, and the wedding party. Everyone else you have to understand if they don't want to travel that far for your wedding...for some people it's just not feasible.

Maybe your family is jealous you 'inconveniencing' them and not your FH's side of the family. I agree with Katie having a venue booked might mean it's too late to turn back now.

We have the option of cancelling our venue b/c we havent seen it yet. We are going this summer to do a walk through and finalize everything.

By "my family" I mean all of them. When we first started dating everyone was so excited about the idea of us getting married so that they could go to NS! We have talked about it since day one! Now almost everyone, with the exception of my Aunt and Cousin, are opposed to the idea. It just stings b/c they would go to Mexico or another destination... Las Vegas... they suggested Vegas... but wont do NS. I dont know what to do or say to any of them. Im to the point where I dont even want to go dress shopping or talk about wedding planning with any of them! I cant b/c it ends in a fight. Im very sad.

I would suggest sitting down with your parents and telling them that. It sounds like something is going on...especially because they are willing to travel to other places. I think Audra might be onto something...maybe it's jealousy since your FH's family is from there...I know my FMIL would have been sad if we had the wedding in my home town...there's definitely something to that theory.

But I wouldn't make any assumptions until you talk to them...commuication is very important when it comes to weddings. I would talk with your parents first and get them on board or find out why they are not. They are most likely driving the overall group dynamic with the rest of the family.

I tried to speak with my sister and mother. Their reason is that my fiance's side of the family had less childeren per family group then my family does. So to them it makes no sense that we are making the "families" travel when my fiance's side is just couples.

Thank you ladies...

Is it selfish of us to want to ask my family to travel? Either way someones family has to travel. We chose NS b/c its so beautiful there and we Love the venue. But are we out of line asking people, with childeren, to travel?

Like I said, you aren't out of line as long as you can accept the fact that some people won't come as a result. If you can't get over that, then don't do a destination wedding.

My family is from VA and PA, his family is from Chicago and Detroit. We live in South Carolina. Personally, the thought of planning a wedding from a distance made me scream on the inside, so I knew right away that we would have it here in SC. So everyone has to travel. It worked out well because we're not being partial to any one family and most people are just turning it into their summer vacation.

I will say that it is a little non-traditional to have the wedding at the groom's hometown...usually if it is at a hometown, it's the bride's. Then again, what's tradition these days?!

Who is paying for the wedding? That should affect your decision at least to an extent.

Even in Canada, NS is one of the cheapest places to visit, just because the cost of living is lower. I don't know if that will sway them or not, but it's true. It's also really beautiful in August.

It's not fair that they're aren't planning on coming. But chances are, they will change their minds. If not, you can always throw a reception when you return to AB for family and friends who couldn't come to the actual wedding to celebrate with you. It's often what people do when they have a DW.

I cant except that some people wont be able to come. But when its my immediate family... it hurts... I guess whats bugging me the most is that my sister said she would not be able to attend... she is my maid of honour and she also has my 2 nephews. So it hurts alot.

We thought everyone would be fine with a summer date b/c YES! It would just turn into their summer vacation that they go somewhere for anyways! Y not my wedding? But that reasoning isnt working.

We are paying for the wedding.

Sorry! I *CAN except that some people wont be able to attend!

The fact they would go somewhere else is really the answer to the question on why they wouldn't go to NS. It's fairly obvious (IMO) that they are feeling like you are only thinking about FH's side of the family since they wouldn't have to travel but your family would. There are very few things you can do here. If it is important for you to make your family happy so that they will be there, then have them suggest a list of possible wedding destinations that they would be willing to travel to, then talk it over with FH's side of the family to see if there is any place that you, FH & both sides agree on. If you are having the wedding in NS because you love it and that is where you want your wedding, then you just need to tell your family that it is your wedding and you want them there, but if they don't want to come, you will understand. Some of them will probably come around, seriously in the end I'm sure your parents want to be there, they are just throwing a fit right now.

Thank you Jennifer! I really hope that they will all come around.

My family is from the islands (Bahamas) and Miami, while his family is from NY, GA, NC and SC. We reside in Tampa, Fl and that's exactly where we are having our wedding. The way I see it, if you can't come because it's too far, less people for me to pay for to eat!

We are paying for our out of town guests to travel for our wedding. See my date. long time to save needed.

You are not being selfish...Your family has 15 months to pay for the trip, and I am almost positive a good number of your family will come around especially your parents. It is you and your FH day...you should have the wedding that you want...not what your family wants....