Please Help! Advice about charging our guests to stay at our destination-ish wedding?!

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Is the venue close enough where people could drive and go home? Maybe you could give them the OPTION to stay the weekend - so for those who don't want to or can't they can at least be at the wedding? I don't know...I'm sure there are going to be PLENTY of opinions on this...excited to see them!

If its a destination wedding, people will expect to pay. I am going to a wedding in June that is 3 hours away from my home and I am staying in a hotel for the night (because it is an evening wedding). I was expecting to drop $100 for the hotel plus a gift, a dress, and the gas to get there and back. No biggie.

If it is a local wedding, then no..you should pay.

Define - "destination-ish"

How far will people have to travel?

That said, I'd do it and wouldn't mind paying. It sounds like fun. Something different than the usual wedding. With any destination wedding though where guests have to pay something, you may not get as much (or anything) for a gift.

I think it's a small price to pay to be with you on your big day. The last destination wedding I went to cost me $1700 so $50 is nothing. Maybe suggest they forego a gift since they have to pay to come?

I think if you have to charge guests for your wedding you can't afford that wedding and you should start looking at other options.

^ To some degree I disagree. Have the wedding you want. People always have the right to decline.

I agree with Future Mrs.Whitaker...

Although this sounds like a fun idea, all guest might not be interested in doing these actives. You should def be able to cover it if you want to have something like this. They should have an option to attend the wedding and not be forced to do all of the activities.

Amber that is unrelated. If its a destination wedding guests expect to pay. I would definately pay $50 for a weekend getaway!

ETA: my autocorrect is dumb.

I would suggest setting it up with the venue to where it would kind of be like booking a block of rooms. Whoever wants to stay can pay the $40 per night to the venue instead of them paying it to you directly because that does seem a little odd. I also would have no problem with paying this at all $40 a night with food included is nothing and I wouldn't ever expect for the bride and groom to pay for my housing arrangements for the night.

I don't really see this as paying to go to a wedding. Why would anyone expect someone else to pay for a room for them?

I'm from the East Coast, so all my friends/family from back home will be flying out here to California for the wedding. The camp is anywhere from 2-3 hours drive away from those who live here in Southern California and then I have people coming in from San Francisco as well.

There are cabins with bunk beds and then what they pay (if they stay both Friday and Saturday night) includes dinner Friday, brunch Saturday, the reception dinner, and then a light continental-style breakfast Sunday morning before they leave.

Obviously I have to pay the venue for everything in advance, but how do I go about having all my guests pay? I feel as though everyone paying the camp directly is a lot of money coming in from different places, but all my guests paying me is strange as well.

And, of course, I will list other hotel options (there aren't many) and no one is forced to stay if they don't want to, but with how far of a drive it is, I don't see anyone driving up and back on Saturday.

Hope that all made sense, haha

I am so confused. To be ELIGIBLE come to the CEREMONY/RECEPTION do they HAVE to book for two nights? If that's the case, then YOU should pay for them.

If that's not the case, then just tell them if they want to STAY at the lodge, they HAVE to book for two nights, but also give other options of nearby hotels.

I think I'm still confused.

I'm confused as to what is being charged for. Can people come to the actual wedding without paying if they don't want to stay at this place? If so then I think it's fine but if in order to come to the wedding at all you have to pay the $50 I think that is rude.

I'm still confused... but I'll just tell you what I'm doing.

I made a hotel block for all out of town guests. THEY are paying for their own hotel which is $104/night and travel arrangements if they need to. Not me.

I am paying for the venue. People are not being charged to just attend my wedding (though I'd love to).

I'm not forcing anyone to do activities and we aren't asking anyone to pay for those. I was just mentioning that to show that the price of this adds up quickly.

What I would be asking people to pay is for their bed and not even the price of one meal. I would be paying for everything else (three additional meals, activities, etc)

No, no! The venue has the requirement, not me. I don't even know why I mentioned that now that I think of it haha

No one HAS to stay, but if they do, is it out of line to ask them to pay?

I think you telling them they can stay at the resort for $50 is the same as saying there is a hotel block available basically. I would try and find a way to arrange with the resort though that they pay them directly. It may seem a little weird to send the payment to you. I think it's fine as long as it's an option and not a requirement to attend the ceremony.

Is this is lodge or a campground where people sleep in tents?

Anytime there is a destination wedding, people expect pay to for lodging and meals the day of the wedding...maybe you can add onto the response card that there is a group rate for people staying at the camp (what they dont know wont hurt 'em!) and give a list of offerings including the itinerary (or a mock up) of the activities planned for the weekend...or add it to your wedding website.