Please Explain The Tiered Concept

Tiered guests can mean different things. One example is the BP gets steak and lobster while everyone else gets chicken.

Another option is the BP gets open bar, but everyone else gets cash bar.

Finally, the last option is some people are invited for dinner, the rest just for dancing.

It means guests being treated differently. In that case some got free beers, the others had to pay.

Basically hosting some people differently than others. Usually when someone is talking about "tiered" it is when only some people are invited to the ceremony and then a lot more are invited to the reception. Or sometimes it is when people are invited to attend the reception after dinner. It's extremely rude and puts people in "tiers" like as if some people are better than others.

The beer wristband thing gave a whole new meaning to tiered...

If some people get things other people don't you are treating other people better/worse than others. You are giving people preferential treatment. You are assigning them to different tiers of service, aka Tiered service.

Yup, great explanation @Star.

There are no "VIP" guests at a wedding. That would be everybody. Everyone should be treated the same.

It's an incredibly rude concept someone came up with where certain guests are made to be "better" than other guests

The ways in which it is typically (AND RUDELY) done is:

Open bar/free drinks for certain guests only

Free food for certain guests only

Invitation to the actual ceremony (generally if it's only immediate family that's okay)

Certain nice/ventilated or indoor seating for certain guests only

It's any situation where some people are treated differently than others.

Inviting your entire congregation to your ceremony, then simple punch and cake in the church hall THEN a private ceremony is completely fine. It's expected in many church/temple communities.

Inviting some people for dinner and then others to an 'afterparty' is rude as shit.

Inviting half your guests to the ceremony and more to the reception is rude too; the ONLY way this works is if your ceremony is truly private; as in your IMMEDIATE family (siblings, parents...)

It would be if I invited 100 people to my wedding and only immediate family were able to have an open bar and everyone else had a cash bar.

I know, looks like that thread was closed! That was a new one...

And thanks for educating me! I had no idea people did that... That definitely shouldn't be a thing, much less occur often enough to have its own name!

My VIP guests got corsages, bouts, or bouquets because they were DH's Mom, Dad, My Dad, My aunt and Uncle (who helped plan the wedding in lieu of my Mom), bridesmaids, and groomsman. Everyone got the same food choices and open bar though. I can also see honoring grandmas/ grandpas the same way.

This is new to me as well and oh wow. The only somewhat ok version of this is an immediate family only ceremony and an open reception. But having some ppl pay for drinks and others not? It'll be more acceptable to have a cash bar for everybody

I've never heard of this but I wouldn't be able to tier my guests

Yeah, @Star! And I didn't even know the phrase VIP in reference to weddings before joining this forum. I think that's just the simplest way to say "immediate family plus BP." I can't even imagine doing stuff like this! I can see making concessions for elderly who have a hard time getting around, for obvious reasons. Maybe having them be seated quickly and served by a waiter or even ask a family member nicely if there is a buffet or bar line by somebody.. but that's about it.

Well I just learned something new today!

I was in a wedding that was tiered, and I didn't know at the time.

The person who told me is now actually my BFF/MOH - go figure. I was a BM, and what this former friend of mine did was have a fairly large ceremony and reception. Then she sent an invitation with a different time on it for friends/acquaintances at a time when she knew dinner was going to be over with - basically just come for dancing.

I was really young - maybe about 22. I remember at one point wondering where the heck did all these extra people come from, and why were they so late. LOL!