Please DON'T ask me about my wedding planning.

I always kept the small talk to a minimum, but people are always going to ask. I just simply responded with "its going good, thanks for asking!" Also people don't want your (not you) pity, most people are perfectly okay with not being invited to a wedding, but still care enough to ask how you are or how things are going.

No your not alone. But I also don't think she was looking for specifics. I think a "how is wedding planning going?" question is easily answered with a "It's going great/fine/good." Then leave it at that. Luckily I really only have one coworker, there are ppl that work in my building, but they don't even know my first name, let alone that I am getting married, and now we have summer interns but they are only here in 6 week sessions so we don't get close enough to talk about nonwork stuff that often. My coworker got engaged last week. I made a point to buy her an engagement gift bc I know how nice it is to feel like someone shares your excitement for your day.

I also get a little uncomfortable talking about my wedding with people not invited but I am sure its just because they are just trying to make conversation and probably think we enjoy talking about our wedding.

I'm the same way. I try to keep the wedding talk to a minimum. The only issue is then I hear "Are you not excited to be getting married?!?"

Yes, yes I am. Don't confuse my reluctance to talk about my plans with someone who isn't invited with a desire to not want this to happen.

Nope, right there with you. It's like people that think they can touch a random pregnant belly or get in a baby's face. I've been called rude for telling people not to touch my nephew. Right, that makes sense.

@Ashley - I never thought of it that way.

The co-worker is just an example, I've had others ask as well. I guess I will continue to keep it "light".

Haha @Sasswood - I'm laughing because I feel the same way, and I've gotten so much shit for it! "How dare you tell me not to put my germy hands all over a baby I have no connection to??" *smh*

On topic: I feel like if people ask how wedding planning is going, it's okay to talk about it a little bit. "Oh, it's going great!" or "I just ordered X and I can't wait to see it!" Then change the subject. Otherwise, I mostly don't talk about it with too many people.

Hm I don't know. I guess I don't mind talking about it but it's really in the early stages and when people find out they start asking in general.

I'm sure once I get the questions again and again (as an update) I may not be too happy to share.

But right now I don't have lots of details to provide anyways.

Some people are just trying to be polite since they know you're getting married. I've realized people don't necessarily care that much, it's small talk like talking about the weather. Same thing if someone is graduating soon, having a baby, etc. Don't think too deeply about it. Develop a standard "everything's great and moving along just fine" then change the subject. Don't feel you need to talk details about it just because someone is asking you about your wedding and expressing interest.

People are constantly asking me how the wedding planning is going. The only people I like talking details/bouncing off ideas are my mother, FMIL, and MOH. Especially when people ask things like how many people are in your wedding party. Why is that even a question?

ETA: I think sometimes genuinely people are just curious. A lot of women at my work ask me about dresses and venues and colors.

Zaz, RIGHT?!?! It's such an invasion of privacy, along with "so when are you having kids? Can I see a photo of your wedding dress? Can I try on your engagement ring??" Like wtf.

@Junia - sage advise. Thanks!

@Sasswood and @Zaz - totally on board with the "baby thing".

I'm right there with you! I always just give the polite, it's going fine and thanks for asking! It's weird talking about a party with people that aren't invited / directly involved. And people touching pregnant bellies is the weirdest thing! I've never been pregnant but get uncomfortable on behalf of pregnant women just watching a stranger walk up and touch their belly.

When anyone asked I always kept it in general terms and people always seemed satisfied and didn’t ask for details. Most are just trying to make general conversation with something they know is going on in your life….same as if you were having a baby and asking how preparation is going. I was lucky not to have anyone around me who was also wedding planning and wanted to know details to compare with.

I try my best to not talk about it. Especially if they are not invited. I don't really have any kind of friendship with many of my coworkers but there are a couple who I do. I will not send any coworkers STDs, only family and close friends will get them because things can change. There are a few co workers that know they are being invited but I know that some of them will not come because we don't have that kind of relationship.

Oh yeah. I work in a jewelry store and my co-worker keeps trying to accessorize me for the wedding day. She's not invited. I don't talk about my wedding with her ever. And she's never been nice to me until now. Not cool.

I just tell people it's going well and I'm ready for it to be over. They usually dont pry after that. I guess they can see my crazy bridal frustration lol

side note: The questions probably won't go away after the wedding. Then It'll be "How's married life" FH says hes going to deter people from asking by replying "The sex is great!" #embarrassing lol

This never bothered me. People ask because they're polite and care and want to hear about you and your life. They aren't doing it to be nosy. I invited one person I worked with to my wedding and that person didn't come. People knew they weren't invited, but they still asked how things were going or what all we had left to do. I always tried to keep it short, but I was never rude about anything or changed the subject quick enough for me to seem standoff-ish.

Emily so I'm on the same page as you, are you implying that people that don't ask about wedding plans are rude? No snark, just wondering if I misread that.

I get way excited about wedding planning (which is why i'm here to drive you all crazy with wedding details) but I wouldn't feel comfortable talking wedding details with someone we aren't inviting so I definitely feel you on that!