Planning

Sometimes you can find a wedding planner who focuses on lower cost weddings. Classes might not help so much since the planning is a continuous process. You can use the planning guides here to help keep track of tasks to do. Also, people here can be helpful with questions you may have.

What style wedding are you planning? There can be bare minimum ceremony and a reception of punch and snacks. Or, you can do a formal served dining with lots of florals.

Planning certainly can be stressful! I am a type A personality, so I really need to be in control of everything - therefore a wedding planner would not work for me. To help with the anxiety, make a list and add/delete to it every time you come on these boards (they really are super helpful) Ask your FH to take some of the tasks. Look for the fun in it - go smell some flowers at a potential florist, have a "date night" every 2 weeks or so with FH that is solely to discuss wedding stuff, and lean on your family when things seem to spiral out of control. Taking small steps - and days off - are all helpful. Good luck, I hope you can have fun with it!!

I hear you. My fiance wanted to hire a wedding planner but I hated that idea and I am a DIY person with everything. Why pay for something when you can create it yourself. I made a very "in depth" wedding planner for budgeting financing etc... its certainly still a work in progress. I've given it to both of my sisters and one of my bridesmaids because we all got engaged at the same time (of course) they've found it helpful but it definately needs some adjustments. I made it on Google Sheets but theres tons of complex formulas and budgeting material if you want a copy I can send you one I just ask for honest feedback of what can make it better.

Personally, I'm having a "wild flower" themed wedding which is cutting costs trimendously.

basically I'm not hiring a florist, and I'm having my mom & godmother pick up flowers from trader joes / costco etc... the day of (most stores allow you to order in advance, then you just go when they open and get what you need)

I'm using old bottles for my table numbers and ordered a bunch of bud vases online that will serve as seating escort cards as well as table decor (i got mine off Temu for like less than a dollar a piece)

My family wasn't able to contribute finances to the wedding as a lump sum but I'm having each family member make a smaller contribution. For example im having my uncle build custom wedding signs, having my aunt paint them. my dad is cooking all of the appetizers we picked a "her favorite / his favorite / our favorite" approach that will us over $1K.

If your location doesn't advertise that they have "left over" decorations like mine did, you could probably ask, and if they don't theres probably tons of stuff on facebook marketplace or offer up. My cousins that have already gotten married are like begging me to take their old wedding stuff thats just taking up space in their garage.

I think anyone who ever planned their wedding will totally agree with you, it IS so overwhelming, especially when you're trying to keep costs down and do everything yourself. I honestly feel you and try not to panick myselfXD We use planning guides and lists as well, and I also find it helpful to have regular "wedding planning dates" with my fiancé where we'd tackle a few things on the list. It turns planning into something you can look forward to rather than dread. We also planning on doing a lot of DIY to save on costs, and our friends and family are happy to help out with different tasks, so don’t hesitate to lean on them! If anyone has more tips on how to enjoy the process of the wedding planning PLEASE share, I want to know them all! Best of luck to you, you got this, and try to enjoy the journey!

Maybe you can work with some others in a small group to help each other. If doing this, you need to be a bit cautious sharing info with strangers.

Steps to planning a wedding:

1) Make lists of the things you need/want
2) Create an initial budget
3) Research online for things to ask/look out for in your vendors.
4) Interview potential vendors.
5) Begin receiving calls from vendors.
6) Have a mini melt down
7) Laugh and cry about your initial budget and have it fly out the window.

Ok, ok. In all seriousness:

Before you begin wedding planning, have a talk with your fiancé about the following:

-If you were to have a minimalist ceremony (just the two of you) what would it be? What would be the must haves you would not compromise for?

-If you can have a ceremony with about 50 people in attendance, what would it be? What are some of the nicer things you would want to have? Are there pictures of wedding elements you like to show your fiancé exactly what you want?

-If you could somehow have your dream wedding, what would you have? (Go ahead and talk about every fun, crazy idea you have too).

This little brainstorm helped my (now) husband and I get on the same page in terms of what we wanted and what we were willing to compromise on.

Here is my unsolicited, condensed guide to initial wedding planning:

-Plan at least 1.5 years out if you are feeling very stressed. Book your vendors within the first 6 months to lock in as many prices as you can.

-Do not cheap out on photography. That is the one thing that I urge all brides on. You don't have to have the most expensive, editorial photographer out there, but they should have years of experience under their belt with shooting weddings, and preferably, have knowledge of your wedding venue and its lighting.

-It is easier to plan a wedding in the summer off season than in the winter off season because winter tends to be too close to the holidays, and weather affects health and travel from you, the vendors, and family.

-Opt for a week day or Sunday wedding to avoid the Saturday wedding premium prices.

-A good way to search for venues while on a budget is to see if the venue has tables, chairs, and linens included, but will let you control other elements of your wedding. Beware of the ones that do not let you have creative control- They will usually charge a ridiculous outside vendor fee, or be lacking in quality.

-This may sound crazy, but make sure that the bathrooms of the venue are in good working order, have enough stalls, and can accommodate people with mobility issues. It may not be pleasant to think about, but more than likely, a bridesmaid or your husband will be in the stall with you helping you lift your dress while you take care of business before returning to your wedding.

-You don't have to have the most expensive food or drink items, BUT guests will remember if the food is bad.


-You do not need to have the most expensive dress, but you really should budget for a good seamstress. I have seen and heard of too many horror stories play out because a bride was looking for a budget friendly seamstress. Lacy dresses in particular will usually be in the hundreds of dollars because once the dress is cut, part of the hemming process is re-creating the lace pattern by hand.

-When shopping for a dress, purchase one no later than 9 months out to allow for production. Book the earliest appointment during a week day if possible and only take 1-2 people with you, tops. Morning appointments during a weekday that is not Friday usually mean slower customer traffic for the shop. Take multiple photos in natural light and in light similar to your venue. Avoid purchasing on the same day, and avoid stylists who try to pressure you to do so.


-A good DJ will have equipment "back up" plans, know how the acoustics work (preferably be familiar with your venue), and always have a professional attitude and professional demeanor.

-The best tasting cakes are not always the most decorative.

-Real flowers will usually cost as much, if not a little less than fake ones. Talk to your florist about seasonal flower options.

-Centerpieces don't have to consist of several flowers. Minimal flowers and candles always make classy, timeless elements.

-Have guest blocks at a hotel, or hotels no more than 7 miles away from your venue if possible. Uber/Lyft rates won't be too crazy if they are within this distance.

-Keep your ceremony to 20 min. tops, unless you have a religious need for a longer ceremony.

-If you have severe anxiety, or just don't know how or what to say for your own wedding vows, traditional vows always work nicely, or you can find "templates" at the American Marriage Ministries website.

-If you get the feeling that something is "off" about a vendor, DO NOT IGNORE IT. DON'T BOOK WITH THEM or cancel and book another vendor. Just don't bad mouth them because vendors do speak amongst themselves.

-Make a spreadsheet with your vendors with their name, contact info. and best hours to contact.

-Make a spreadsheet with the names and contact info. of every guest, to include a column where you can put what they gave you as a gift. This is a lifesaver when writing thank- you cards.