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Just Said Yes October 2020

Planning woes: To plan or not to plan?

TimandJenn, on May 17, 2019 at 12:49 PM Posted in California Planning 0 2

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I am getting married October 10th of 2020.

The problem is... Everything is a problem!

We set a budget that seems workable, but the only thing I have booked so far is my wedding cake!

And that is only because I know the person who is going to make it, and she will be doing a small version as a test run for our anniversary August 8th of this year.

I plan on having a very non-traditional gown. (Green Ombre with embroidery in black, hopefully)

He doesn't even know what he wants to wear, yet.

His ring is going to be wood. I want Opals, not diamonds.

We're only having about 20 people.

It's going to be at a house we're going to rent, and everyone will be staying with us over the weekend (Friday night, wedding night, Sunday morning we all leave)

We haven't chosen any decorations. I don't even know if we will have any, at all.

We only want a photographer for two hours or so, and just my groom and I. We plan to go to the redwoods nearby and do a couple's shoot there. For the actual wedding and party, we're going to just collect photos from our friends, since they're all pretty great at taking party photos, anyway.

We are having a hard time choosing between finding something catered, or just pre-making something ourselves (we're both great cooks. especially when we cook together.) But I think my groom does not want to do a lot of heavy lifting on the day, so we can relax and try to enjoy it.

He really only wanted something at the courthouse. But he REALLY wants beautiful, fancy photos of us, which we will have to travel for, so after three years of discussions we decided on a small group, pics alone in the redwoods, and debaucherous party at a pretty rental house after.

I just feeling like I should be doing more planning or have more things booked, and the lack of things I have done other than non-concrete ideas is scaring me.

For such a small group of people, and knowing we are doing so much of it non-traditionally, should I still be worried about my timeline?

My first wedding I planned in a week, and it was a huge 300 people thing because my ex had a lot of family and friends in the town we were in. It was not how I wanted it, but it also was low-stress, low planning since it was basically a shot-gun wedding and I didn't know it was going to happen until a month before it did. Now that I've been engaged for a while, and I am actually trying to get past the idea stage I feel lost.

(Side bar, I have been asked 8 times and said yes 5. I broke off all my engagements except one, which I only had a month to think about. We were divorced in June 2015. Met my fiancé in August 2015. Got engaged in 2017. Still engaged. So I have been engaged a lot, but have super limited experience in actual planning.)

Should I be worried about planning now?

Since it's so small, do I need to worry about normal deadlines?

Where should the majority of the budget be going, since we're cutting out so many parts?

Did you have a non-traditional style wedding? Do you have any advice??

Any and all advice welcome and appreciatd.

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2 Comments

Latest activity by TimandJenn, on May 20, 2019 at 10:37 AM

WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on May 20, 2019 at 9:10 AM
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Hey! Congratulations on your engagement! I’m sorry that you are feeling like this about planning your wedding. The plans that you have described really sound beautiful.
Do you have your venue booked? If not, I would recommend doing that as soon as possible. You don’t want to find out that it has already been booked for your date! I think the same goes for your photographer. Do you have a photographer in mind, or will you need to search for one? Looking for the right photographer can take some time and research into their portfolio so perhaps you could also start thinking about who you would like.
Once you have your venue booked, then you should think about if you need to hire any furniture/tables/chairs for your meal. Or if you will need to hire a sound system for any music you plan on playing.
If you are self-catering, there is a lot to think about, like who is going to heat the food, or serve it to your guests. By hiring a caterer, you could eliminate any stress that comes with doing all of this yourself.
The good news is that you still have plenty of time to plan for all of these things.
You mentioned that you have your wedding cake ordered! That’s great! What flavor will it be?
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Just Said Yes October 2020
TimandJenn · on May 20, 2019 at 10:37 AM
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We only have the cake booked because it is someone I know, in person. We are getting a taster cake for our anniversary this year, to make sure my groom is into it. We want a white naked cake with berries, and possibly cupcakes on the side since the cake itself will be quite small.
We have been looking into locations, but we don't have anything set in stone, yet. We won't be renting anything extra, just using what is in the house. I feel like finding a photographer is going to go better once we know the place, for sure.
I like the idea of us cooking, but also think we might just be better off with getting a buffet-style pre-made set up that we can pull out and heat up once we are there. I was also going to look into nearby restaurants once we know the exact location. Since we're only expecting 10-20 for dinner, we can always just place an order to somewhere nearby, on the day -maybe?
It's the problem I have had with planning - there are still just too many maybe's!
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