Planning with Out of State Maid of Honor Complications

If your MOH can only host it in January that is fine. I would send out save the dates ASAP, your MOH can send shower invites late November or early December, and wedding invites can go out mid March.

I got married in December and had my first shower in August because it was what worked best for everyone's schedules!

I don’t see anything wrong with an early shower. I agree with Kelly about the timing.

I'm getting married in February and I already had my shower in July. It felt absurdly early but I have a lot of family from out of town and they usually visit in the summer so it just worked out better that way. My aunt and sister also fully took the reins in planning and that was the date they picked. I did check with the FH family first though just to make sure they weren't offended - no one cared. Oddly enough I had a few friends who gave me some side eye but oh well. All this to say, do what works best for you. If anyone is morally offended they probably just won't come. I feel like most people understand.

My MOH and two other bridemaids are out of state. I did the planning myself and she booked her time off around events far in advance. I don't how hands on you want her to be or how long you have to plan but she should try to work around your schedule of events if possible. She can also be in charge of doing some of the research for deals. Putting together the oh crap kit and etc. Things that can be done from far away. Don't be afraid to reach out to the bridesmaids who are there that can help more.

Trying to figure out how to delete my previous comment bc I didn't get the full text. Nothing wrong with an earlier shower. You have time to work on each other with schedules. But you have to realize there is a lot going on as a college student so don't be afraid to lean on others for help if needed. Good luck

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Okay cool! Thank you! I totally thought wedding invites had to go out before the wedding invitations. But good to know that I don't have to rush getting them all out within a few months!

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Good to know! I'm glad other brides are doing early showers too

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Thank you!! this is all very helpful!

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Thank you for sharing! Yeah I'd be afraid of those friends giving me the side eye haha! But my family and friends are pretty laid back so I think I'll be okay

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I'm definitely very hands-on myself and have fully become a DIY bride I almost just want to plan out and host the bridal shower myself because it's so fun looking at fun decor and games and stuff! But my MOH is very hands on herself and she's definitely a take charge kind of girl. I totally trust her to handle everything because she would do it with ease. I just don't want to put too much pressure on her to plan from so far away. She's technically co-hosting, my mom is hosting because it'll take place at her house.

Yeah I totally agree she has a LOT going on with school and family issues so I don't want to overwhelm her. I don't have any other bridesmaids though. FH and I are doing MOH and best man but I'll lean on my other friends and family to help where my MOH can't. Thank you for sharing!

Can someone else host your bridal shower? Or can you budget to pay for her flight out? I assume she has a spring break in March/April and it could be then? We sent our save the dates out 9 months in advance.

Who told you bridal shower are 3 months before the wedding?. Mine was 5 weeks! You can have anytime that is best.

I’m in a very similar situation. I’m in VA, getting married April 27 in CA (myself and my girls grew up in CA), and my MOH is actually in Scotland for vet school. Due to these insane geographical distances, we are doing both the bridal shower and the bachelorette party around Christmas. Yes, it’s all a little early (especially the bachelorette party) but with her in Scotland and myself on the opposite side of the country from the venue, planning, and over half of the guests, that was going to be the only time between September and the wedding that we would all be on the same continent, let alone the same state. Weddings have changed so much from what they used to be in terms of timelines and traditions, you can do whatever works best for you and your circumstances.

My MOH lives in DC and I live in Chicago. For my bachelorette we simply did it in August when she was in town even though my wedding is in January. My future MIL threw the Bridal Shower in November along with her daughter who is one of my bridesmaids and my MOH was unable to attend.

As for the Christmas thing... I've had a bunch of folks ask if we want gifts from our registry for Christmas which I've told them is fine. It actually kind of worked out nicely that way. If you want to tell folks that your bridal shower gift can double as an xmas gift I'm sure they'd be cool with that.