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Super April 2019

Planning on budget not going well...

Future Mrs. Polar Bear, on September 17, 2018 at 12:59 PM Posted in Planning 0 28

...I'd appreciate any insight, help, guidance, etc, anyone is willing to provide. My budget is $5k, which I was really excited about. This doesn't include honeymoon. My fiance's parents are giving us $2-2.5k and we're going to use that for the Honeymoon or our house fund. We're an offbeat bride kind of couple. I've looked at the offbeat bride website, and it just depresses me cause I can't figure it out like other brides have. I'm a huge organized, detail oriented, on top of things kind of person, so this challenge is the most challenging thing ever I think, everything else in my life I've figured out, mostly.

What we have free for our event: Make-up & Nails, Photographer, DJ, Officiant, and Bartender. I may even have my cupcakes (instead of cake) free, but I'm unsure I want my disabled mom to go through all that work for me, she wants to, but I worry about her being able to enjoy the day if she's done that the day before. Her health normally keeps her down for a day or two after doing work like that. I'd rather have her happy and enjoying her daughter's big day. My dress is going to be $100 or less.

I'd rather not go to Courthouse or Church. I follow a nature religion so being married in nature is ideal. Reception doesn't have to be outside.

I'm having a horrible time with venue. We originally wanted our ceremony to be immediate family only (19-26), than reception to be bigger with friends, and additional family (50-80 guests total). We also wanted a Fall Wedding on a Saturday in the afternoon/evening. Right now I'm willing to even do a Sunday anytime mid-August to Nov 3.

We don't know anyone with a backyard we could use, and ours is too tiny. The county parks system prices to rent are outrageous ($400 for ceremony, than additional $300-$1000- per 4 hours for lodge, or pavilion etc, and they don't come with anything). We don't have any fire halls that rent in our area or even 50 miles out. All the venues I've found are either WAY out of our budget, or just don't feel right for us. Even the one's that don't feel right are out of budget, or their catering menu is just way to fancy for us.

We're a very causal, go with the flow couple and we want to portray our love for comfiness, casual, in our reception. We enjoy football, movies, games, and chilling. We really want an outdoor ceremony, which is why I was looking at a cute park nearby but $400 for 30 minutes that were going to spend is ridiculous, especially because it's still a public space, and we can't impeded visitor experience at all. Which I understand, but still that's a lot of money.

My fiance really wants buffet style for food, and we thought pot luck but the energy it would cost my family with their health issues, it wouldn't be worth it. We'd rather pay the money to cater, and have our family enjoy the reception.

We just want everyone to have a good time, like when you do when it's just people hanging at a BBQ. But even if we did that we have to take into consideration weather, catering, and venue. We found this cute lodge but after all the time we have to purchase for set-up, day-of, clean-up, admission costs, then all the tables, chairs, decorations, etc doesn't seem feasible at this moment.

Right now, i'm so frustrated and disappointed that I'm at wits end. I've contact so many venues, party rental locations, etc. Even one's as far away as 4 hr drive just to see, what could hurt, right?

We'd really love the rustic, casual atmosphere. So we've even checked out some bars, but most don't have room for dancing, or the menus (in most of the venues, etc) are just too fancy for us. Which is surprising. I did find a couple bars with a great price, and food that was right up our allies, but the decor was WOW, I don't think we'd be able to last having our reception there, it was either so gaudy (I don't like hunting being hung on walls, no thank you.), we wouldn't be able to handle it. Which we love tiny cute little bars, but for our own wedding/reception, it wouldn't hurt to have something a tad nicer, something without stained carpets, spitting bartenders, all high top tables, etc.

We also don't live by any state parks, have any friends with backyards, etc. I'd considered outside of the box like a gamer bar near us that we enjoy, but the menu isn't that great, and the room they have for rental is pretty dirty. I'd thought maybe a blues club would be cool, as that's the first music we could agree on when we got together, but nothing like that around here that allows space for reception. I even thought have our ceremony at park for the $400 and just put chairs out ahead of time so no one bothers you or just have people stand, than do the reception at home, but our backyard just isn't feasible space wise. (We live in Milwaukee, WI)

Any recommendations? Sorry that's a lot, but I felt is was better to put it all out there.

28 Comments

Latest activity by Anna, on June 5, 2019 at 12:42 AM
  • Katelyn
    Devoted May 2017
    Katelyn ·
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    Quite frankly, with a low budget, you'll probably have to settle for something that will work, rather than a perfect venue. It sounds like you have found a couple of bars on budget with the type of food you want, and the only problem is decor. No one remembers decor; people remember food, drinks, and having a good time. You're largest budget items in a wedding are venue, food and alcohol, which none of your free stuff covers. I spent $9500 on my wedding for 75 people and $5100 was food/alcohol/venue alone. My venue was only $200 (restaurant/bar). So you need a venue for at most $1000 to stay in budget. Honestly, it's difficult (not impossible) but difficult to plan a wedding for under $5K, and you'll need to do research and again, settle for something that will work and is on budget, rather than is perfect.

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  • R
    Savvy October 2018
    Rebecca ·
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    We wanted an outdoor ceremony as well, and are planning something very similar to you (~20 guest ceremony, ~50 reception/party, budget of $5k). We were lucky enough to find a park for $200 but it still felt like a lot of money to spend. Before we found our location though, I considered looking at Airbnbs in the area to see if we could rent a house with a larger backyard - then we could use the space instead of getting a hotel, or to house family from out of town. Looking into alternative spots might lead to something that is affordable and works with your vision. Also, consider speaking with the owners of the bars to see if they'd allow you to bring in outside food or a food truck or something, or see if they'd be able to build a slightly different menu if you aren't a fan of the food they're offering. You never know who will be willing to work with you! Best of luck!!

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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    Katelyn,

    Thank you for input, I do appreciate it. Yes, we're my mindset is at right now, perfect isn't possible which is okay. Just the place I find I'd like it to be not so dirty and have room to dance? One the bars had all carpet, another one was very small and had huge stains all on the carpet (my MIL would probably have a heart attack). and food choices were minimal as we have picky eaters in my family including myself unfortunately (we do like chicken strips and pizza, ha!).

    I have lot's more research to do. Appreciate your help, thank you.

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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    Rebecca,

    This is great advice, thank you! I actually spent the night last night reaching out to tons of Air Bnb's. Not one is willing to accept our reception size, or the options for an event, even though when I used the website I clicked "allows events." The website is difficult so use but I've been trying. Nothing found yet, but I'm continuing my search.

    I'll have to reach out to a couple of the bars, and see what they'd be willing to do. Thank you very much.

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Honestly with $5k, I would just host my nearest and dearest (under 20, preferably under 15) to a nice dinner. It's going to be pretty much impossible to feed 50 let alone 80 guests on that budget. You seriously need to temper your expectations or postpone so you can save to have a bigger wedding. .
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  • Nadia
    Savvy June 2019
    Nadia ·
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    Hello! First off do not let people tell you that you can't do this because most of these people might not be under a budget (trust me I have had so many people tell me I won't meet my budget). I totally understand your pain and I am kind of in the same boat although my budget is $10k and stressing about that. I know you said you are not close to any parks but there may be other non-profit locations. We found a ranch that is considered non-profit so there is no tax and no extra 20 percent charge. So the place itself is just about $2,000 and if we leave the place clean we get $500 back. With your budget something like that is feasible? Since you are not inviting lots and lots of people, I think you can stick with your budget. Food shouldn't;t be more than maybe $1,000 or can be less. You can ask someone to help cook as another option. Food truck is another option. Instead of the cake you can have cupcakes - or you can order two tier cake for presentation (might not feed everyone) and then cupcakes for everyone else. Our place let's us decorate so we will do lots of DIY stuff. Perhaps find a friend for photography or someone cheap but with understanding quality but me average. DJ - should be able to find for less than $1,000. Just remember you may need to cut in some areas so also important for you guys to determine the must have and what you are okay not having. We are also doing rustic look which I think is cheaper too and the idea of rustic is less rather than more. You can have cheaper plastic chairs - my friend had these and I honestly did not care. Hope this helps and if you want more ideas let me know!

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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    LB,

    Appreciate your insight, but you'd be surprised what magic can happen.

    Thank you for replying back to my discussion.

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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    N:

    Thank you so much for writing back to my discussion. Actually, I'm already going the cupcakes route, we really don't like fondant anyway so if they were made by betty crocker cake mix (I love btw), I'd be totally okay with that. We have a photographer, and DJ pro-bono.

    I have looked at a couple nonprofits, we have an Urban Ecology Centers here, but even those prices are pretty steep. My FH is thinking maybe we could swing it, but since I'm the one doing the budgeting I'm not so sure. Since I work in the nonprofit field though, I'll reach out to some colleagues maybe they'll have some ideas. We have this beautiful Audubon center, but they get booked up 2 years in advance and I'd need $30k to book a wedding/reception there, ha!.

    I think your right, food I can find under $1k, especially because even though were inviting maybe 80 -100 people I really don't see more than 50 coming. Knowing our families.

    I'm a craft person so I defiantly plan on DIY-ing.

    Must have for us is good food. The way I hostess my own BBQ's etc, no one would expect anything less but awesome food. So that's big on our list.

    Appreciate your insight, this has been very helpful.

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  • Stephanie
    Super June 2019
    Stephanie ·
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    Hey there!

    I am also on a $5K budget and possibly willing to extend it to 6 but no more than that. Because we live in Florida and we chose the peak of the summer, it's too hot to do anything outdoors and decided on an indoor ceremony and reception, it will all be held in the same room. We did find a venue which catering, set-up and take down, bar packages, decorations are included in the package. All we have to do is show up and most likely come in a little under $5k or right on it. Are there any civic/community centers within your area? Or maybe a gym space if you guys cannot find an outdoor area?

    I do think your budget is reasonable as well and do-able when you buy things on clearance or 50% off as fr as DIY's and decorations, which I have saved over $150 on. I can suggest subscribing to Hobby Lobby if you haven't and they have frequent sales for all kinds of wedding needs. You are very fortunate to have the free services you mentioned because those tend to be the most expensive ones.

    Do you have a BJ's Wholesale Club or Sams Club/Costco around you? They do wedding cakes as well. Before a good friend of mine mentioned she wanted to gift us our cake, we were going to do a full sheet of cake for $80 and maybe some cupcakes to decorate around the table.

    I literally almost gave up because our dream venue was $10K and we knew there was no way we could do it but then searching on WW, I found the hidden gem we booked. I was even able to contact one of the reviewers via email for more insight before getting in touch with the venue. keep your chin up! You are still on time to book something, we got engaged January of this year, searched for about 3 months and ended up booking in May for June of next year. I wanted to set a date for March but financially it was too soon. Keep us posted!

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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    Stephanie,

    This is very helpful and makes me feel a lot better, thank you.

    I have looked at civic centers, and community centers, but surprisingly there expensive and their catering menus are all very fancy. We're just not that fancy, even for our wedding, we'd prefer casual. I'd like something more than pizza and beer, but would totally settle for that, as well.

    We do have a Sam's Club membership, we do our meat shopping there in BULK. Huge deals! I'll keep that in mind.

    I'll keep you posted. Hopefully I find my hidden gem somewhere, too!

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Guess I'll wish you magic. Just hope you dont come back in a couple months with all your "free" things falling through and have no way to pay for them. Just trying to help you be realistic...

    I would suggest getting contracts with the people who are providing you free services to try and protect yourself at the very least. Too many horror stories on here about Moms best friend who was gonna be the DJ and would NEVER cancel, only to do just that 2 weeks before the wedding.
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  • Happy Hedgie
    VIP September 2018
    Happy Hedgie ·
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    Due to your budget, you will likely have to make concessions somewhere; however, it sounds like you aren't looking for expensive food so, that is a bonus.

    I'd look into VFWs, community centers, legions, etc. as cheap options (similar to fire halls). Also, look into local museums, art galleries, zoos, and gardens. Does your area have any historical buildings/sites? My city rents these out for minimal and you can usually do your reception inside and have the ceremony on the grounds. Look into a faculty club or something similar if you have a College or University nearby. Breweries, wineries or boutique hotels can be a good option too.

    Another option might be to find a caterer you like (BBQ and Italian are usually the most affordable options) and ask them where they have done events before. This is a good way to find less well-known venues and it will guarantee that you're able to bring in your own catering.

    It is great that you are getting a lot of vendors for free but, I definitely caution you with using Friendors. There are a lot of horror stories on here of people not showing up or canceling at the last minute. Ultimately, you need to make your own decision about how much risk you are willing to take versus the money you are saving but, go into it aware of the possible complications. That said, do not allow your mother to work on your wedding day (or in the days proceeding it), trust your gut and let her relax and enjoy the day as the MOB.

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  • Little Star
    Expert April 2019
    Little Star ·
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    I know you had mentioned no churches but would you consider a Unitarian Universalist Church? These churches are different than your typical churches and are usually welcoming of all religions. The one in my area actually does secular weddings, too. I was looking to have my wedding there but we ended up going with a different venue instead. I’ve attached some photos from google from the Milwaukee UUC 😊

    https://uumilwaukee.org/


    Planning on budget not going well... 1

    Planning on budget not going well... 2

    Planning on budget not going well... 3
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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    Thank you for trying to be realistic.

    Thankfully, I have double back-ups planned. Appreciate your view.

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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    Happy Hedgie,


    Thank you very much. I'll look into some VFW's. We have a lot of historic buildings, unfortunately Milwaukee isn't cheap on rentals, ha! That's why I've started looking outside Milwaukee County. Last night when I was checking I realized I'd have to go 60+ miles to get a nice location in a reasonable price. Not bad, and willing to do.

    That's a great idea! I'll reach out to some of the caterer's we were looking at.

    Yea, no worries on the freebies, we have double back-ups planned, just in-case.

    Thank you so much for the great ideas and insight.

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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    I'll take a look at it. Thank you so much for providing a link and photos.

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  • V
    Savvy February 2022
    Vanessa ·
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    If you find a restaurant that would normally be closed on the day of the week you want to have your wedding you may be able to talk to the owner and they may be willing to rent the space to your party for your wedding day. Some restaurants will do this because it is extra revenue and they will not be missing out on the customers they would otherwise have
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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    Vanessa,


    That is a great idea! I'll start looking around. Thank you very much.

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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    Have you considered moving your wedding date? October is a super popular month for weddings and vendors aren't going to be willing to negotiate with you. If you move it to an off-season month, you may be able to get cheaper rates!

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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    Sydney,


    Thank you for taking the time to reply to my discussion thread. I have considered moving the date. Wedding Wire makes you choose a date, so I just threw in my preferred date. We're actually looking anywhere from Mid-August to Nov 3. Saturday is preferred but I'd be willing to talk my fiance into doing Sunday for sure.

    I know some venues consider October as off-season month, while others start there's in November. I'd like to not go past Nov 3. That date actually has special meaning for my family so if I had to go with that date I'd have no issues.

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