I feel a lot of regret about my wedding. It was postponed from May to September of this year. I was having problems before but now with Covid it’s even worse. Nothing is going how I wanted it to go. My fiancé has 2 things he’s supposed to be in charge of, one of which is an officiant. The one I like and met at a bridal show is booked for our new date and he doesn’t even have any other options picked out. The second one is music. I don’t feel like he has chosen near enough and he hasn’t suggested any special songs for us either. Also, no one had planned a shower or bachelorette party for either wedding date. I also feel like no one checks up on me anymore to see how the planning is going (I have to make a group chat but still I barely get any response). I know everyone has their own stuff but this all makes me think that no one likes me or even cares (except for my mom but she can only do so much). I’m just complaining but I just don’t understand why this is happening.
I’m sorry things aren’t going well for you. I think this would be a good time to take a break for some self care and then find a renewed sense of joy in planning. I remember I hit a slump in planning and took a long break. Then after that I tried finding the joy in planning again. For instance I like crafting so I had some fun creating stuff.
Our venue (which we both love & could see us getting married at) has an all inclusive package that is perfect for us. I check our options, show my FH what the best ones are & we settle on one. He hasn’t decided on who his groomsmen/best man are & I’m ok with that. The more I pushed, the greater the stress was. Realizing that was taking the fun out of it, I apologized & told him that until he was ready to decide, he wasn’t gonna hear a peep out of me about it. I will talk to him about photographers, DJs, invitations, when I made appointments for food, cake, flowers etc. Men really don’t care about the details. It was more stressful when I left things up to him.
My grandmother loved to say “take what you have and make what you need”
I learned I needed to be more direct in this process and being a Covid bride. Let’s think about what you have: Bridal Party Future Husband Some wedding plans in the work What do you need: I messaged my bridal party and expressed my feelings of being down. At the end of the day there not a bridal party first there your friends first and they need to check in. Tell them what you need “hey guys I’ve been feeling so bummed about this planning, I really just need x” Future husband might be trying but might need to be re-excided again for wedding, or needs a recall on the vibe your trying to have. Sit down and say hey here’s what we have planned for our big day so far! Your a team ! You have a wedding date, and these are times where we have a lot of lemons and we Gatta make some lemonade! What are you able to do on your wedding date within your states guidelines, what is your gut telling you do, and what Will bring you to a decision with no regrets. Hope this helps, hang in there. Your day IS coming.
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My venue isn’t all-inclusive. I just needed him to help me with things. To me, they aren’t small details so I figured he could do them. 7 months later and he still hasn’t hired anyone though so I guess not.
Hello Ashley wanted to say we love you here. I totally get what your saying I’m stressed out between the wedding, paper assignments, being a mom it’s all stressful but wanted to say your not alone and when you get a chance just have a sit down with your FH and tell him how you feel ❤️ Congrats on your upcoming wedding. FYI my birthday 🎁 is in September 🎂
I'm sorry you feel this way. I had a similar struggle when I was planning my husband and I's wedding. The main thing I had similar was my husband's tasks. I asked him to handle 3 things on his own; the alcohol for the wedding (b/c we supplied it ourselves & he knows more about it than I do b/c I rarely drink), getting the DJ and picking the music. The bottom line is, some partners typically are not that evolved in the wedding planning. This is not true for all partners, I am aware, but a lot of them don't care about the smaller details, like the music, so it's harder to get them on board to help.
As far as friends/family checking in and helping, I understand this can be frustrating. I knew going into planning that I was going to be doing a majority of the work - and I was fine with that. I got a planner from Target and used the "month at a glance" page to write in what days I wanted specific things for the wedding done by in pink. Then in blue I wrote in what days (either weeks or months before the due date) I would work on something, order something or finalize something with our venue, caterer, bartender, dj, etc., and highlighted it when it was complete. I had friends and family help out when and where they could, and when/if they offered, but I never had a expectation or got it in my head that they would/should help. My main 2 that helped that most was my sister and one of my two sister-in-laws. I promise it's not that no one likes you, they might just be busy with their own lives.
I am so sorry that no one has planned a shower or a bachelorette party for you either. But keep in mind this could be b/c of COVID, they could be figuring things out before they tell you, or they could be planning a surprise. I will say, I don't know your friends and family so I am not sure, but also keep in mind that those things are also not a requirement. It's a nice thing for them to do if they can, but it's not mandatory and with COVID, and if they were laid off of work, they may not be able to afford it right now. I promise you that they like you and they care. What you are feeling is normal. Your wedding will be perfect and exactly what you want. Don't put too much stress on yourself by expecting others to do things when they haven't committed to it or thinking you have to do everything in the same day. Take a step back for a few days or a week and don't look at or do anything for your wedding. Give your mind a break. Then come back and make a plan to tackle the rest. Give yourself a timeline to complete everything and plan out when you want specific things done by so it doesn't feel like you have to do everything at once. Planning your wedding is supposed to be enjoyable and an amazing time if your life. You've got this!
Girl! This COVID stuff has thrown all wedding planning out the door. I’ve been upset, sad, and finally has to decide I’m going to make lemonade out of lemons. Our SO handles responsibility differently then we do. If you guys got this far then he’ll probably take care of it. You can sit down with him with pen and paper, so can guys can brainstorm together. Sometimes you have to suggestive. Also, with family not reaching out may be a blessing right. Planning is pretty intense right now for brides, so this might be the breather you need before the wedding in 2 months. Most of my vendors have told me my decisions will change up till the day of the wedding. So far they have been true! This forum has been helpful for plenty of brides this year. So reach out on here.