J
Just Said Yes June 2023

Planning for pregnant moh & Bridesmaid

Jane, on September 25, 2021 at 2:27 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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I am planning my wedding for early June 2023. We are planning on having a small wedding party - 4 people total: MOH, Best man, one bridesmaid, one groomsman. My MOH and Bridesmaid just let me know that they may be pregnant/just given birth in June of 2023. Specifically my MOH would like to have her baby in May of 2023. Thinking I should find another bridesmaid incase both the MOH and bridesmaid no longer feel up to being in the wedding party. I will be so sad if they decide they can’t be in the wedding party/might not be able to attend but I would be so happy for their growing families. I worry that the responsibilities of being in a wedding party will be too much stress for them if they are pregnant because the wedding party is so small there would not be other people to delegate tasks to. Also, I worry that they will push themselves too much if they decide to stay in the wedding party. Example, during my bridesmaid’s first pregnancy she pushed herself so far during a gala we we planned/hosted for the company we work for that she ended up in the hospital. I know my MOH and bridesmaid can make their own decisions but I worry that, as touching as it is that they say they will literally be at my wedding even if they are in labor, I need to look out for their best interests because sometimes they don’t. Just curious about everyone’s thoughts!

10 Comments

Latest activity by MOB So Cal, on September 29, 2021 at 8:29 PM
  • Stephanie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag
    That’s a tough one! I think if you’re concerned about it early, add a bridesmaid or personal attendant that can lighten the load on your friends. It’s better to plan/be safe now than scrambling close to the wedding.


    That said, my MOH is pregnant, and she has really enjoyed having a non-baby/mom task to focus on (I get married next week and she’ll be in her third trimester). So it might be worth talking to your bridesmaid/MOH to see if they share your concerns (even understanding that they push themselves while pregnant too hard sometimes).
    • Reply
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    Babies come whenever they want; this is not like a vacation or work trip where you can plan around it. There is no way to plan around a pregnancy this far out. She could "try" for a May baby and end up pregnant months earlier or later (like my parents who said they wanted an April baby and ended up with January 😄). The soonest either of you could probably know if she'll be heavily pregnant/postpartum on your wedding date would be in late fall 2022. A lot of people recommend you not choose your wedding party this far in advance anyway.
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with all of this!
    • Reply
  • JM Sunshine
    JM Sunshine ·
    • Flag
    You are getting yourself worked up over a "what if" situation almost 2 years from now. Most posters suggest not even asking for people to be BMs until 8 months out. You still have a year before even needing to consider this.
    • Reply
  • Candace
    Devoted March 2022
    Candace ·
    • Flag
    It's too far in advance to worry about this. Save it for 9 months before the wedding. Then you'll know and can make changes if needed.
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag
    I am definitely inserting myself in here because my husband and I have been TTC for over a year without being blessed yet, but it is absolutely insane to worry about someone being close to delivery the month of your wedding two years out. Don’t add anyone to your bridal party.
    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Master November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag

    Ok, well first of all it's nice of them to let you know about their family planning. However, even if they can't attend, you shouldn't be thinking about replacing people at all. You can't really do that without hurting feelings. Also the wedding party are not there to do tasks. It's a position to honour the people you want to honour. Not a job.

    You're not getting married for a long time. Think about the wedding party in a year or so.

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Yes, to ALL of this.

    • Reply
  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    As others have said, it's way too early to worry about a situation that might not even happen. You can push off asking people to be in your bridal party until closer to your wedding, and it's actually recommended that you wait. Don't stress about this right now.

    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Agree with everyone who is saying to let this go.... It took us 8 years to become parents and I have a friend who it took 5 years to have their second after they easily got pregnant the first time; "planning pregnancies" isn't an exact science -- and predicting births 20 months from now is a crap shoot at best. Also, read old posts about wedding party regret for a thousand reasons to wait until 6-9 months prior to ask anyone to be in your wedding. Finally, there was a recent post from a bride who seriously offended a friend by making assumptions about whether she'd be "up to being a bridesmaid" because she had a baby/family/job/whatever.... When the time comes, ask people who you want to stand by you on your wedding day and trust them to make a decision about whether to accept or not. Good luck!

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