Planning advice

You have to find ways to talk about what you want and in some cases compromising is a thing.
My fiance is on the other side of the world with no return date. Emails, messaging, lots of excel work books(I hate them and he likes them), and lists. We have a very large part of our wedding planning knocked out but it has taken time and patience. Especially when all his communication systems dont work for days.

I think when I was planning I'd ask my husband what were important aspects to him and I'd just decide based on that aha. Like what his yes and nos were

View Quoted Comment I can imagine that being difficult. My fiancé is not a planner and doesn’t really know what he for sure wants that’s my issue. I’m just kinda so over planning that I don’t want a wedding that I thought I did. Maybe it’s just the past few weeks I’ve been having eating at me but I’m tired of everything.

Take a break then. I've had that happen a few times. I get to the point I dont want to do it anymore so I leave it alone for a few days and hit the reset button. This is stressful to do on your own on top of a full time job.
Hope things start to come together for you

View Quoted Comment Thanks I’ve been at a break but I don’t want to take too long because I do procrastinate. I am pretty ahead so I’m ok not working on it for periods of time. I hope your planning comes together too!

It's ok to take a break from planning, if you're stressed out. Especially since you still have plenty of time before the wedding. As for your FH, I find that narrowing down options for my FH really helps. If there are too many options, he has trouble picking something. But if I narrow it down to 2 or 3 choices, he can definitely tell me which one he likes best. Maybe try that, since you guys have what sounds like limited communication.

But don't stress yourself out more trying to force it. I find that when I let go of an issue, or a decision I can't seem to resolve, if I let it go, and move on to other things, that's when the solution, or the decision comes to me. Good luck, and happy planning!!

I'd recommend figuring out a day you both have off from work and can sit down and discuss things. If that's not an option, as Amy said above, try communicating via emails, etc. It's difficult when you each have a different vision. But, compromise is key and I'm sure there are some things you can agree on. Think about what makes you guys work and what speaks to you as a couple. My husband wasn't involved too much in the planning process as he was gearing up for a deployment and was busy training (we got married in about 8 weeks, after he found out he was going to be deploying, we knew we wanted to get married before he left so I made it happen). It wasn't easy a lot of the time. But i tried to tie in elements that met both our tastes, and not just my own.

Narrow out what you can each agree you definitely don't want and go from there. For example, my husband is very country. I, on the other hand, am not. I would have loved a super formal black tie affair. But that isn't him. So we agreed on a more rustic formal wedding. We got married outside on a golf course and had the reception inside at a country club. Figure out how to tie in elements that show both your personalities and tastes and make them work together, to show cohesion.

View Quoted Comment Hi! That’s great advice!! My best friend got married quick too due to her husband being in the navy. I think now we’re just trying to figure out if we want a ceremony or a party or a whole wedding. We need to start there it’s just the communication. We would rather just spend time together taking about our days and enjoying each other’s company since we don’t have that a lot anymore. I know itll Get easier. Thank you

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I definitely get that!!! Wedding planning can be stressful... but it's so fun! I would start by thinking of how you have always envisioned your wedding. Or after you started dating and knew you wanted to marry him, what kinds of thoughts did you have about a wedding? I'm always in favor of having a traditional wedding, ceremony and reception, because they're so fun. And it's the only day in your life where things are all about you and your future spouse! Once you're actually married, the initial excitement is gone for others so if you get married then have a party later (weeks, months, or years after the marriage is official) people don't feel the same level as excitement. For me personally I knew I always wanted a big wedding with all the bells and whistles! It's just who I am and I love being the center of attention, haha. We seriously considered getting married on a cruise or eloping to an island somewhere or just having a few friends and close family at a winery. But none of that felt like us. Think about how you envision your wedding day and what feels like it suits you guys!!! I know it's a lot to consider.

Honestly... the best thing I did was pick a top 3 and then show them to him for him to pick one. There were a few things that were very important to him (food, DJ, and photographer), everything else I handled by showing him options. It really helped because we both didn't spend time researching.

Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Thanks that was very helpful!!!