Place card etiquette for names

Not sure about proper etiquette but, my gut says to go with the person's preferred name. So, using nicknames where you know that is their preference and full names where you aren't sure.

Know your guest. If she hates Kimberly then do Kim. But for everyone else who doesn't, use their full names.

I would do full name for a formal event and formal looking place cards. You could put Jim Flo instead of James Flo but I wouldn't put J-flo or anything like that.

For a wedding as formal as yours I would go with their formal name. Ours will not be as formal so we are using their preferred names (Tim instead of Timothy...)

I don't think it is ever respectful to intentionally use a name that you know someone hates. A name is part of one's identity, and while in some cases the person might just not like how one name sounds, in other reasons they might have more personal reasons why they identify with one name and not another name. Regardless of what etiquette says, I would never intentionally call someone a name that you know they hate.

Nick name for her and rest spell out the hole names

Use people's preferred names. For instance, one of my bridesmaids is Elizabeth but goes by Liz. That is how she preferred her name on the escort card and any other printed material. The same with my DH - he goes by Jim, not James, so everything referenced "Jim." We also had a formal wedding.

Go with the preferred name!

View Quoted Comment OMG YAS. I do have an L-Rod. But you totally do Lisa Rodriguez. Hahaha.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! I always trust your advice!
I think I’m going to do first name last name and just switch to the name I know they prefer. One is my boss and he told me he hates his full name so for sure going that route with him!

Thanks everyone!!!

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I couldn't agree with this more. The true formality would come from using titles, which you are not doing. It is fine to not uses the titles. But pleases do not try to force formality by using names that the individuals do not use themselves. Using a name that isn't what they go by wouldn't be formal, just disrespectful. For example, my fiance goes by the shorthand for his middle name. If someone used his first name, it wouldn't be him. It wouldn't have anything to do with him, and it would disrespect who he is as a person.

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Thank you!

I might change the "formal" invitations now... regardless of what etiquette says...

I would definitely do the preferred names if you know them. Nicknames, no, but preferred names should be fine.
Nobody will send you to the etiquette police for not putting full names but they might get offended if you use a name they really hate.

Because you are doing all formal dress and service, strict etiquette: You use people's honorifics or titles. But, your choice: Since academic titles like Dr. for PhD in literature are often only used in professional circle, you may use Dr. only for medical doctors, dentists,, veterinarians . Unless you know a particular PhD would be upset. Then, their preference rules. For names, any nickname based on their actual name, that they prefer, is fine. So, Judy and Richie (or Dick) would be fine. What matters is what they prefer to have people use. But nicknames like Skipper or Doogie for someone named Steve, or Junior for Mark Doe, Jr., not ok for formal use. If you have any judges, politicians like a mayor, Search : Honorifics. You will get lists of who is called The Honorable ..... When introduced or in writing, other titles you may never have used will be listed. I would suggest you do one tile for each person, not each couple. And have printed clear 2 or 2½ inch labels printed. Put them on tiles, trim any extra that goes over hex angle with a single edge razor blade. That is okay for formal place cards. Long names would be in 2 lines. One thing to consider, the reason for using Ms. Or Miss or Mrs. or other Title, Hon. Dr. Rev, according to the person's preference, and then preferred first and last name, is so that people beside them, and anyone coming to the table, wait staff, other guests, B and G who do not know spouse's relatives and any SO, can glance at the placecard and address them properly with the name and title they prefer. A social cheat sheet, especially when someone was introduced and their name promptly forgotten. You all appreciate it as you do table visits, positioning yourself within sight of the cards of people you do not know. And if your parents circulate table to table, they will see a name, think of what has been said about them . Ih, so you are my son's roommate from college, so nice to finally meet you. Lots if etiquette rules seem pretty arbitrary. But since at formal affairs, lots if strangers need proper intros, and during dinner, placecards make it easier. How does bride introduce a friend and the newest SO to her husband, and get it right?

People above are right, even etiquette books or protocol books say, where a person's preferred title and name are known to you, that is always the overriding concern, use them. If not known, then you default to Mr. and Mrs. or other standard titles.

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Oh great! Thanks. I didn't know that. Ok, changing the invitation list now too.

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Calling someone who has a PhD a Mr. or Ms. instead of Dr. just because it isn't a medical doctor is VERY VERY insulting. If you are addressing me by my title it is most certainly Dr. and not Ms. even though I have a PhD in chemistry and all of my friends who have degrees in various subjects would also agree.

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"One thing to consider, the reason for using Ms. Or Miss or Mrs. or other Title, Hon. Dr. Rev, according to the person's preference, and then preferred first and last name, is so that people beside them, and anyone coming to the table, wait staff, other guests, B and G who do not know spouse's relatives and any SO, can glance at the placecard and address them properly with the name and title they prefer. A social cheat sheet, especially when someone was introduced and their name promptly forgotten. You all appreciate it as you do table visits, positioning yourself within sight of the cards of people you do not know. And if your parents circulate table to table, they will see a name, think of what has been said about them"

Hmmm, I hadn't thought about this! I'll talk to the person making the cricut for the tile and see if we can fit it. Mr, Ms. and Mrs. isn't that much more. I hope.

I just hate deciding between Miss and Ms for people. IDK why, I just feel like I will always choose wrong!

Here's the idea, I'm sure everyone has seen them before:

cricut tile placecards

View Quoted Comment The overriding thing, which I wrote in both pists above, is to call somethe title and name they prefer. Before even sending Saves or invitations, the couple should inquire, calling or emailing if necessary. But if no preference is known, , then you may do either according to the occasion. My mom does not use Dr. except at educational ir professional settings, and has never changed from her birth name. She lets people know, please address me as Ms. JN, that is what I prefer in social settings. My husband is known as Dr. T O.So she is never called Dr.J O or Mrs. To. Your preference is to use Dr., ir PhD after your name, or whatever your title and degree are. People should show you the courtesy if asking, and using your preferred address. Only when people don't know and cannot reasonably find out, do they go to default rules. I know about 20 people I went to grad school with, and 11 PhD in my family who don't use Dr. And the rest do use it socially. So I ask. This varies by region and social group. When I lived in Boston area, every PhD used it. 50 colleges there. Not my rural area.