Pissed off Sister

I would also be upset like you. I purposely did not tour the venues that my sisters had used for this exact reason, even though one is 5 minutes from our house. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this and your feelings are completely valid.

Wow!!!!(! This is horrible!!!! She sounds like a spoil brat honestly (sorry)... Sister’s should know better then to do something like this!! Specially on the wedding day!!! I would have a serious talk with her and really tell it how it is.. and if she still doesn’t get it or refuses to change it I would let her know how disappointed in her behavior you are and that you’ll never forgive her for this and to have the dam venue and I would try to find a different one.. this would definitely change my relationship with my sister because I wouldn’t forget what she did to me.. I wouldn’t hate her for it, but I wouldn’t forgive her either... sorry you’re going through this;( if it was me OMG!!! I would loose it!!! Good luck

I think you're justified in being miffed. It doesn't matter which wedding is first yadda yadda. You put a deposit on that place first. Why would she even want to have a wedding at the same place? I'm sure people will tell you no big deal, it's a month earlier, it's just a location.... there isn't anything you can do though. Sorry this is happening to you. I'm sure it is a total blow.

Honestly, I can be petty. You did a lot of sacrificing to make sure you respected her wedding, but she's acting like a spoiled brat. I'd contact the venue and see if you can push up your date in front of hers, and not tell her until later on when her vendors are already booked. Site that the original date "fell through."

I would be livid!!! Ur wedding is Nov 2020, is there anyway u can get ur deposit back? This is totally gonna make u look like ur the one that copied her. If it were me I would change venues in a heartbeat and she would not be invited to my wedding. Sisters dont do this kind of crap to each other.

I cannot get the deposit back as we have put down almost majority of the cost of venue 😔

View Quoted Comment I was going to say the same thing! Can you move the date before hers?

I'd definitely see if you could move the wedding up. Petty or not, your sister was downright disrespectful. Having close weddings is one thing, but a sibling with a close wedding in the same venue is rude.

Make it your own by your colors and flowers and decorations. Don't share those with her. People do not come to a wedding to check out who used what venue. If the service is great, and the food is great, then you both have the good sense to go with it, rather than a lesser place. Perhaps because I lived in a few rural places, where there might be 2-3 places within an hour's drive that were in price range and good, and one of those always something wrong with it for a particular event ( one might need wheelchair accessible, one had a bigger space for large weddings but no dance floor) leaving most events a choice of 2 really good places, most everyone from the area used the same venues. Weddings, big parties, family reunions, and area proms or graduation parties for whole classes and families. And if you looked through pictures from 40 of theses parties, it would take a while to tell where each was. Decorations, table arrangements, colors, lighting, arrangement ( positions) of the tables, places looked very individual. And people would hear where a wedding was, and as long as it was one of these few popular places, everyone would talk about how great it was there, the last time they went might have been a year, or 3 times in a summer. Now and then people would pick a further place, or one of less quality ( even though similar price.) And all your would hear would be, too bad they did not choose this or that one, whispered. . . People do not care much about unique. They care about quality. Do not share decorating ideas, each of you make the place your own. When you think about it, in most of life, people flock to the few places that have become popular for high quality food, service, and atmosphere. You chose to marry very close in time, because of how it fits in your life, and that of your FI. And you both have the great taste to pick this place above others, as right for your event, your guests. All happy there. Don't spoil it by trying to be unique. There is no prize for that. Just do things differently. And people will talk about your two beautiful weddings, and how amazing a job each of you did to show your individuality and make the same place special for each of you. People who have a great time at the first wedding will look forward to going back, like a favorite restaurant.

I agree with pp MOVE THE DATE UP don't tell her till its to late! YOU wanted October anyway! Go for it!!

I would also be petty in this if possible and move the date. I’m not a petty person but MAN lol. Also share absolutely NOTHING with her details or anything else. I’d be miffed as hell.

if you can’t move it definitely make it your own and make sure people know through the grapevine how petty she was trying to steal your limelight. makes me glad I don’t have sisters lol.

Agreed, see if you can have a September wedding, and don’t share any details of your wedding with your sister.

I agree with PPs! I would beg the venue to let you change the date and move it up even they charge a nominal fee to do it! So sorry you’re dealing with this and your feelings are definitely justified! Keep us updated!

If my sister did this I would have to strangle her... just a little bit 😡

View Quoted Comment Lol same. I have 2 brothers, no sisters thank the Lord. Phew I can't even imagine!

Call and see if you can move the wedding up! I would have it a week or two before hers. I won’t tell her until the last minute. I feel like you were trying to be respectful of her but she isn’t being respectful of you.

Does it occur to anyone who recommends being petty and vengeful, changing her date over this to " beat out her sister", that many if her friends and family will se how awful she is behaving, and simply not go to her wedding, or any related party?. And that new, low opinion of the poster will stick for years? This is not some reality TV Bride Wars. Having chosen to marry a month apart, they can each have their receptions where they want. Receptions do not have to be unique. And to be so petty as to change dates because her sister likes the same venue ( which could just mean they both have good taste) will make a lot of people think that the poster bride has unpleasant sides to her personality.

I do think it's odd she picked your venue after you picked it. You didn't take the venue from her, she chose not to see it. I would just try to differ yours with decor & maybe different spots for reception or ceremony?

Something similar happened to someone else just with their weddings being different locations but within 2 weeks of each other and I'll say the same thing I said to that person.... My mother would never allow it. I am shocked that parents don't see these scenarios as complete trash. Your sister is a brat. Were any parents involved in this decision/bad scenario at all?

I 100% understand your frustrations. My sister and I ended up getting married in the same year. Our weddings were 3 months apart, and my wedding date was set for September 2018 and she chose June 2018 after my Save the Dates went out. She didn't select the same venue I had picked thankfully, but this is a hard situation all around.

I understand just like every bride, you want your day to be special, and it should be. Sharing the bridal experience with your sister takes away from you feeling special and excited about your upcoming wedding.

Honestly, if I had to go back and do it all over again,.I would have postponed my wedding until this September instead. I have so many wedding regrets, but that is the biggest one. My wedding didn't feel special, and unfortunately your family and mutual friends won't be able to separate the two weddings. My grandmother still loves to say, she is the oldest but got married second....Or we had two weddings to attend because both granddaughters got married last year. Honestly it's aggravating because no matter how I try I can't help that my feelings were hurt and my sister didn't seem to care.

If you want an October wedding, my advice is postpone one year. Have the wedding you want and don't settle for anything less. Plus, my mom was so exhausted from my sister's wedding and helping her settle into married life that she wasn't as available to help with my wedding like we had anticipated.

If you and your fiance are okay with postponing another year, I would. It won't change the fact that she decided to book the venue you wanted. It won't replace your feelings being hurt. However, I think it would give you more time to select another venue even possibly one you like more, and allow you to feel like your day is more special than you feel now.

Ultimately it is your and your FH's decision. I wish you the best and I hope you and your sister can resolve everything. My biggest wish is for you to have the wedding of your dreams and not have regrets because it's supposed to be YOUR special day.

Honestly, I know a lot of people have posted you should slide your wedding up to be before hers, don't tell her, etc. My advice is don't do that. You are sisters and unfortunately one of you has to be the bigger person. Actions have consequences, and you don't want to end up hating your sister or her hating you for the rest of your lives. If you can change your wedding date, I would push it back. I wish I had.