Laura
Dedicated September 2022

Picky guest meal - please help!

Laura, on May 18, 2021 at 11:35 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 63
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Please help my fiancé and I solve this issue.


We will be serving chicken and salmon (recommended by catering company as steaks have various temps), vegetarian dish to our adult guests. However, ONE adult doesn’t like/eat chicken or salmon— only eats steak/hamburgers/beef. He is extremely picky and wouldn’t eat the vegetarian dish either. I’m not going to serve him a steak for obvious reasons. For kids meals, we decided on chicken tenders, fries, broccoli. Fiancé said he or another guest can bring a hamburger patty/bun for the caterer to cook up for this one guest, but trying to make it as easy as we possibly can for caterer. Too hard to tend to guests individually.
Should I.....1) change the kids meals to spaghetti and meatballs and serve this on a larger plate to the one guest?2) ask catering company to cook up hamburger for the one guest?3) provide same meal as other adults and if he doesn’t eat it, then so be it.
TIA! 💕

63 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on May 20, 2021 at 10:20 AM
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    I'm really tempted to just say go with option 3 because this person seems ridiculous. Otherwise, I would go with option 1. I think option 2 is a little much, and then what if other guests are like "hey, I want a burger!"
    • Reply
  • Amber
    Just Said Yes November 2022
    Amber ·
    • Flag
    Option 3. We’re all grown and this wedding isn’t about any individual guest, but about you and your new spouse. He can’t possibly expect to have a custom meal at every wedding/birthday party/large event he goes to.


    Also, spaghetti is a mess with kids 😩
    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag
    Number 3. If it were a food allergy or intolerance issue, I’d answer completely differently, but his pickiness is not your problem to solve. You are offering three reasonable options, if he goes hungry, that’s his choice.
    • Reply
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    This guest is ridic. Option 3!
    • Reply
  • Richaelyn
    Devoted July 2021
    Richaelyn ·
    • Flag
    Number 3, there’s more things to think/worry about with your wedding besides his meal.
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    I’m an extremely picky eater as well so I understand him. I don’t like salmon either and I don’t eat chicken on the bone. Also most vegetarian options often involve a portobello mushroom… yuck, or a mushy mix of veggies… double yuck!!! 😝


    Sadly, people are quick to give passes to vegetarians, vegans or gluten-free eaters who want special accommodations. Yet they turn their noses up to adults who have particular palates. Since I know picky eaters get judged, I simply tell restaurants that I have allergy issues and I quickly receive the VIP treatment 😉 Believe me, it’s not easy and we do not desire to be picky. But we also realize that the accommodations are really no different than the categories of special eaters I listed above.
    So, of course you can certainly go with choice #3 and waste money. But, really, why would you do that when you actually have 2 other options?
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    I am torn because we are providing a special meal to someone, but at the end of the day I have to say 3. Our guest is picky because he has a chronic condition affecting his bowels, not because he doesn't eat normal foods. I think if your guest only eats beef because he has some kind of health issue, that is one thing. But being this picky as an adult needs to be the problem of the adult, not those around them. Don't justify it by serving him a special meal.


    Also I view this as different than vegetarians or even keto. He just is picky, he doesn't have a health issue or allergies or a moral qualm.
    Also I do have a health issue but the foods I avoid are somewhat complicated so I often eat before a wedding just in case. Someone else's wedding is not about my quirkly, voluntary diet
    • Reply
  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    Definitely option 3. I’m an extremely picky eater and a vegetarian but this is your wedding. Spaghetti is a huge mess with kids especially at a wedding and it’s ridiculous for the caterer to cook one special meal out of no real necessity for one guest. If they don’t want to eat, they’ll eat on the way home or they’ll pick.
    • Reply
  • I
    Expert August 2021
    Ingrid ·
    • Flag

    I get being a picky eater, but you are an adult suck it up for one meal!

    I would not make special accommodations for one person, because I'm sure there are others who would also prefer red meat, but they were an adult and selected one of the options you are providing. And just think how others would feel if they see 1 person getting an option no one else gets, I sure as heck do not want to deal with that!

    And I'm sorry, the "I have allergies" so treat me special just sends me spinning. If you are a picky eater then own it and stop making an excuse as to why you "can't" have something.

    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agree with this. I hate when people fake allergies because it makes a lot of work for the staff. You don't have allergies, you are picky. Some people are picky as a result of a sensory or other issue, but most could completely control it by just acting like an adult and eating non-perfect food in restaurants/social settings
    • Reply
  • P
    Dedicated April 2023
    Peyton ·
    • Flag

    Absolutely option 3.

    Entitlement abounds because others cater to this ridiculous, childish behavior.

    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Dedicated June 2021
    Brittany ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    As someone with food allergies I have to say that it's not just a harmless lie when you say you have food allergies when in fact you don't. Because so many people lie about it (including you) and restaurants know people do this, it makes restaurant workers just that little bit, or even a lot less careful which can make people like me very sick or cost others their lives. Also, it is a lot of extra work for kitchen employees to make sure that your food doesn't come into contact with anything you are "allergic" to. It's NOT okay that you lie about this. And your accommodations because you are picky are VERY different than people who are allergic. Unless you've ever had your throat start closing because of something you've eaten you have NO business telling anyone that you have a food allergy.

    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Dedicated June 2021
    Brittany ·
    • Flag

    Option #3. I have food allergies and I can't eat at a lot of weddings. I always eat before, bring a snack, and then just eat what/if I can. It's nice if people consider my needs but I know it's not realistic to expect it.

    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Wow, I'm absolutely disgusted by this response. If only I had a "particular palate" instead of a life threatening food allergy, then I wouldn't have to carry an epi-pen with me 24/7 wherever I go and worry about my throat closing up if something goes wrong. Accommodations for people with food allergies are VERY different than the "categories of special eaters" that you listed. If you accidentally ingested a piece of salmon, you might have an unpleasant taste in your mouth for a few minutes. If I ingested a piece of salmon without medical intervention, I would literally die. Lying about having food allergies in order to get special treatment is absolutely terrible and seriously messed up.

    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    Go with option #3. Being a picky eater is very different from having food allergies or intolerances. This guest can suck it up for one night and eat the sides if he doesn't want the entree.

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Dedicated September 2022
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Option 3. Done!
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Dedicated September 2022
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agreed! Chose option 3. Thank you!
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Prepare beef meatballs as usual in gravy, and if anyone asks, ask, Have you ever tried all vegetable protein and starch imitation meat? Shame we did not cook more!
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh, there’s no need to be disgusted (and especially not by a public post made by a stranger to you). I said vegan and vegetarian food accommodations… not food allergies. But thx though!
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted June 2021
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    Option 3- he needs to grow up or starve!
    • Reply

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