Picking a Date

I had the same concerns when we first got engaged. It was one of the reasons I decided I wanted a two-year engagement. I went on a healthy eating and exercising journey… lost a lot of weight and really toned up during the first year… then lost the momentum and gained it all back during the second year. Now I really wish I hadn’t push the wedding out two years for weight loss, because I hit my peak at the one-year mark, and had we just had the wedding then, we would have beat the pandemic and not had to postpone. Unfortunately, there’s just no way to predict what is going to happen years down the road. I would just pick the date that you want more and that works out best for you, your guests and your venue. Alterations can always be done to dresses if your weight fluctuates after you purchase it. Congratulations on making healthy changes in your life!

Think about it this way, your dress can always be altered to be smaller as long as youre not losing significant weight very quickly. If you really want March 2023, go for it. Also, keep in mind that you want to make sure youre at a size that is maintainable for you. If you lose 80 lbs before you go shopping but have to starve yourself to do it, you have to then maintain that weight for another 6-8 months before the actual wedding and risk gaining it back plus more as is common with intentional dieting. I would just choose your date based on when you actually want to get married and focus on learning to accept and love your body however it ends up along the way.

Hi Mary!!

I totally understand!! If I were you I would give it to September so you have like a year to get to where you want to be!! You can always go a little before then around December or January 2023 & get the dress a little bigger & then have the dress altered to your new body!!

I am giving you all the positivity towards yall's healthy journey!! If you feel comfortable & want some motivational words from your friends from the wedding wire post your progress! It's so inspiring to hear your story!!

Goodluck planning!

Venue availability may make the decision for you. September is a very popular month for weddings and most of 2023 is booking up due to the past 2 years of postponements.

So I made the decision to go on my healthier eating journey after ordering my dress and telling them I planned to maintain. I’ve lost over 12 pounds in 3 months and now have to do a fitting again to make sure it fits for my bridals next week.


It can always be taken in, but not by a ton. I would talk to the dress store and they can always order a size down to prepare.

They actually recommend order your gown 10 months out to ensure it arrives in time for alterations. Covid has made shipping even more of an issue, so 8 months out would be cutting it a little close...

You order the dress is whatever size fits you at your try on. The dress can be altered to fit your current size once it comes in. I would not pick my wedding date based on my body size or trying on wedding gowns. Pick whatever date you want and works with the venue you love.

I don't recommend that you push your wedding date back because you want to lose more weight. 1) you don't know what the future holds as Cece talked about. 2) you are beautiful today. And you will be beautiful when your FH marries you in March 2023 whether you've lost 20 lbs or gained 20lbs.
Try on dresses, choose the style and fit that you like, and order the dress with your accurate measurements when you are comfortable with shipping timing. When you receive the dress, you can have it altered if your body changes before the wedding.

Here is some input as a former bridal stylist, and also shopping for a wedding dress while on my own health journey:

1) Start Now
-Some dresses are taking almost a year to come in because of international shipping.
-You will have a better idea of what you like and what materials work with your body.

2) Dress Sizing, Adjustments, and Alteration Costs
-Wedding dress sizes are like swimsuits: They are usually 2-3 dress sizes smaller than your true size, and they are made overseas.

-When in doubt, order a size dress that is a size bigger. It is easier to taper a dress in than to take a dress out. If you do taper in, most dresses can be taken in up to four sizes. Tapering out is usually 1 size, 2 sizes maximum. Always ask the bridal store if it is even possible to taper your dress out- some can't be tapered out at all.

-Materials such as tulle, lace, and intricate patterns will cost more in alterations just because the pattern and design has to be recreated, or the fabric will take a lot of care. This is NOT to put you off of choosing them. The satisfaction is far greater when you get a dress taken in and see how your hard work is paying off.

-If you are truly concerned, have a corset put in the dress instead of a zipper. Corsets are more forgiving in terms of sizing, and they can bring in the waist quite nicely. Now, corsets to require a heavier material such as taffeta or satin because if you pull a lace dress too tightly, it will rip, or not look good.

3) Other Things to Consider

-Since getting in better health is paramount, ask your bridal store or alterations stylist how far you can put off alterations without rush fees. It is better to pay for rush fees if you have to (just not with too little in advance), and have money put aside to accommodate the payments.

-Your body proportions may change. For example, if you are hitting the squat rack, and getting the best booty you can, the squat booty may make a dress sit higher than originally expected! (Not that the groom is going to complain).

-Add shape wear as you get closer to your alterations. Doing it too soon may not give you an accurate picture of how you may look on your day.

-Unconventional Suggestion: Get a second dress. It can be a stock piece or a used dress, maybe even a duplicate of the dress you want. This is a "just in case" something goes wrong, and you can have peace of mind.

My two cents. I applaud everything you are doing!

To be fair, I pushed my date back a few months just to pay more comfortably, and have more time to prepare myself.

I would start looking for dresses earlier than 8 months. A bridal boutique consultant told me recently that looking for dresses 1 year ahead is actually best because it gives you time to choose & it gives alterations time, given the pandemic especially!


Don’t put pressure on yourself to fit the dress, because ultimately the dress is an extension of your expression. PICK THE DATE BOTH OF YOU LOVE and works with your schedules & budgets!
Wedding days, marriages, and life will never be 100% as you planned it - but life is full of stress from anywhere. Your body will love you for making it stronger and being mindful of your health, and that’s a long-term benefit in itself than just for 1 dress. So PICK THE DRESS THAT FEELS LIKE YOU - not just for the wedding day - but expresses who you are beyond that.
You and partner were attracted to each other before the engagement, focus on remembering why you’re meeting each other at the altar & everyday for the rest of your lives.
You will be gorgeous in anything, believe it! Best to you both! x

I was worried about this myself- ended up ordering in September 2021 - and I am picking it up this month. At this point I only lost 10 pounds - but this has been since restarting recently. I am hoping for a weight loss total of 25 pounds. I was told this should be able to easily be altered. I will update you after the try on and how it goes for me!

Pick a date that you love because that's when you want to get married! March and September are vastly different in many ways - climate (especially if you live in an area where you get a lot of snow) and flowers are very different those times of the year. I picked my date because I love the seasonal flowers around that time of the year and wanted to be able to use them. My mother is a florist and the easiest way to blow your wedding budget out of the water is to have your heart set on flowers that just aren't in season for the day you picked.

There's a lot of things you should consider when picking the day to get married - but whether or not you'll have time to hit your weight loss goal, in my opinion, shouldn't be one of them. My fiancé and I also started a health kick this year and are eating healthier and exercising more. It's great and while I wouldn't say I'm enjoying it, I'm sticking with it. I'm hoping to lose some weight and tone up before my big day, but no matter what I size I end up being on that day I know that in the end I get to call my best friend my husband and that's really all that matters.

Starting a healthier lifestyle should be about wanting to look and feel good for your own health, not about hitting a certain goal for a certain event. That's how you often set yourself up for disappointment or anger in feeling like you failed. It can also foster an unhealthy relationship with food. Toxic dieting is so bad for you (trust me, I was a serial toxic dieter!). And having an unhealthy relationship with food can cause years (decades) of issues. I still struggle with the trauma from the eating disorder I had in high school and college.

Pick your date because you want to get married on that day. Keep up a great healthier life style if it makes you feel better and happier, but know that you'll be beautiful no matter what size you are on your wedding day.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate all of the feedback. We went ahead with most of your advise and booked the date that felt most fitting for us, which was 9/30/23. We prefer Fall over Spring, so it’s the best of both worlds I think in reference to timing. I appreciate you all!!!

Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate all of the feedback. We went ahead with most of your advice and booked the date that felt most fitting for us, which was 9/30/23. We prefer Fall over Spring, so it’s the best of both worlds I think in reference to timing. I appreciate you all!!!